1 00:00:04,532 --> 00:00:09,532 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,672 And that's when I 3 00:00:21,696 --> 00:00:22,949 - switched to boxer briefs. - Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:25,709 And I never looked back. Best of both worlds. 5 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,400 Okay, I'm heading out. 6 00:00:27,425 --> 00:00:28,863 Hey, Linda, you're just in time to hear 7 00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:30,086 why I changed my underpants. 8 00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:32,107 I-I mean the kind of underpants I wear. 9 00:00:32,131 --> 00:00:34,142 I'm gonna have to take a rain check, Teddy. 10 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:35,277 I'm going on a power walk. 11 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,260 Ooh, power walk. Sounds fun. 12 00:00:37,285 --> 00:00:39,081 What is that? Do you stomp really hard? 13 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,581 Yeah, it's a part of this thing I'm doing with Ginger. 14 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,472 Gettin' Fitty in your Forties. 15 00:00:43,497 --> 00:00:45,621 It's all about exercising and eating better 16 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,548 - and being in your forties. - Can I do it, too? 17 00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:49,717 - I could probably be healthier. - No. 18 00:00:49,741 --> 00:00:52,349 Sure you can. Get ready for salads 19 00:00:52,374 --> 00:00:54,500 and veggies and smoothies. 20 00:00:54,525 --> 00:00:56,724 Smoothies with cayenne pepper and flax seed. 21 00:00:56,748 --> 00:00:58,447 Wow. What's flax seed? 22 00:00:58,472 --> 00:01:00,042 I don't know, but I feel great. 23 00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:01,878 Maybe it comes from a flax machine. 24 00:01:01,902 --> 00:01:04,715 - Ha! I'm getting fittier and funnier. - Yeah, you are. 25 00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:06,675 Anyway, Ginger already took her walk, 26 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,569 so now I got to take mine or I'll get a frowny face 27 00:01:08,593 --> 00:01:09,625 on my profile. 28 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,104 And Ginger and I have this bet. 29 00:01:11,129 --> 00:01:12,615 Whoever gets the most frowny faces 30 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,016 has to wear their bra over their shirt 31 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,034 for a whole day. 32 00:01:15,058 --> 00:01:17,018 That might be bad for business. 33 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:18,542 Or possibly good. 34 00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:20,786 Yeah, it depends on the bra. Ooh, I better get going. 35 00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:23,103 We got the kids' parent-teacher- student conferences 36 00:01:23,128 --> 00:01:24,140 in an hour and a half. 37 00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:26,069 Yeah, where they make us all sit together 38 00:01:26,093 --> 00:01:27,898 and discuss the kids right in front of them. 39 00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:30,590 I try to not make eye contact with... our children. 40 00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,218 Well, they don't usually grade the parents, 41 00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,670 but I bet the teachers will probably give me an "A" 42 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:38,373 for A-mazing lifestyle changes and great parenting. 43 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,255 Speaking of, where are the kids? They're late. 44 00:01:40,279 --> 00:01:43,078 You're right. Maybe it's for a good reason? 45 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,660 I mean, it never is. 46 00:01:44,685 --> 00:01:46,757 Maybe there's a cool new dance all the kids are doing, 47 00:01:46,781 --> 00:01:48,736 and they're having a dance-off in the alley? 48 00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:49,943 Why is it in an alley? 49 00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:51,887 That's where people step to you, Bob. 50 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,889 Maybe they got on the wrong bus from school 51 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,190 and ended up in a different town. 52 00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:56,897 That happened to me a lot. 53 00:01:56,922 --> 00:01:58,567 There you are. Where were you? 54 00:01:58,591 --> 00:02:01,194 Where were you?! No? Does that not work? 55 00:02:01,219 --> 00:02:02,883 - We all got detention. - What?! 56 00:02:02,928 --> 00:02:03,988 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. 57 00:02:04,012 --> 00:02:05,964 - How? - I swapped out Ms. Labonz's 58 00:02:05,988 --> 00:02:08,802 morning announcements with the lyrics for "Baby Got Back," 59 00:02:08,826 --> 00:02:11,601 which she only read the first line of, but it was hilarious. 60 00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:13,272 I put a hot dog in the pencil sharpener 61 00:02:13,296 --> 00:02:15,319 to make Hot Dog Swirl Snacks... Patent pending. 62 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,752 And Tammy said horses are just boring zebras. 63 00:02:17,777 --> 00:02:19,537 And one of us got her hair pulled, 64 00:02:19,561 --> 00:02:21,015 and the other one got detention. 65 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,423 So, what's new around here? 66 00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:23,781 I can't believe you guys. 67 00:02:23,806 --> 00:02:25,575 What? Oh, the detentions. 68 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,100 Yeah, kids, that's not good. 69 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,546 But, Gene, the hot dog thing? I kind of get it. 70 00:02:29,571 --> 00:02:30,974 I've had the same thought before. 71 00:02:30,998 --> 00:02:32,898 But y-you shouldn't do it. 72 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:35,421 And you do this on parent- teacher-student conference day 73 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,829 of all days?! 74 00:02:36,854 --> 00:02:38,654 I guess it's not a great look. Sorry, Mom. 75 00:02:38,679 --> 00:02:40,924 But, hey, if it helps, you don't even have to worry 76 00:02:40,949 --> 00:02:44,135 about punishing us because detention was... woof. 77 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,862 It was rough. They didn't let us get water, 78 00:02:46,887 --> 00:02:48,732 more than several times. 79 00:02:48,757 --> 00:02:51,703 And there were no pastries at all. Not even a bear claw. 80 00:02:51,728 --> 00:02:53,773 I did kind of enjoy being alone with my thoughts. 81 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,074 But, yeah, it was hard. Real, real hard. 82 00:02:56,098 --> 00:02:58,243 Oh, you're all getting punished, Miss Missies 83 00:02:58,267 --> 00:02:59,374 and Mister Misters. 84 00:02:59,399 --> 00:03:01,353 But we're sorry, Mama. 85 00:03:01,378 --> 00:03:04,075 No! It's not gonna work this time, Gene. 86 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,260 It's called rules, okay? Rules exist for a reason. 87 00:03:07,285 --> 00:03:10,229 It's how society is a thing. You got to follow the rules. 88 00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:12,721 Right? Bob, right? This is where you come in. 89 00:03:12,746 --> 00:03:14,129 Um, yeah, that's right. 90 00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:15,926 Sorry, you just seemed like you were on a roll. 91 00:03:15,951 --> 00:03:17,979 I mean, we should all be trying to be better people 92 00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,222 around here, you know. 93 00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:21,206 I'm doing my part. I'm eating flax. 94 00:03:21,231 --> 00:03:23,524 Maybe you should just relax and have some more flax. 95 00:03:23,549 --> 00:03:26,136 No! No, Gene. Leave my flax out of this. 96 00:03:26,161 --> 00:03:28,106 Now I'm going on my power walk, and I'm gonna think of 97 00:03:28,130 --> 00:03:30,733 a punishment that fits how annoyed I am. 98 00:03:30,757 --> 00:03:32,805 Spoiler alert, it's gonna be a big one. 99 00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:35,668 In the meantime, get to work here and do your homework. 100 00:03:35,729 --> 00:03:37,615 Wait, which one do you want us to do? 101 00:03:37,639 --> 00:03:39,667 Both. Multitask! 102 00:03:39,692 --> 00:03:42,338 Wow, I would not want to be you guys right now. 103 00:03:42,363 --> 00:03:43,788 - Nope. - Thank you both. 104 00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:45,172 Mom seemed extra angry. 105 00:03:45,197 --> 00:03:47,067 Her teeth were grittier than ever. 106 00:03:47,092 --> 00:03:48,366 Gritty and gorgeous. 107 00:03:48,391 --> 00:03:50,252 Okay, so here's what I think we should do. 108 00:03:50,277 --> 00:03:52,213 Work extra hard, and when she comes back, 109 00:03:52,237 --> 00:03:53,831 this place will look so great, she'll say, 110 00:03:53,856 --> 00:03:55,409 "No punishment necessary." 111 00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:57,988 Yeah. And she'll pick us up and throw us in the air 112 00:03:58,013 --> 00:04:00,893 and say, "My beautiful bouncing babies." 113 00:04:00,918 --> 00:04:02,354 I mean, I always work extra hard. 114 00:04:02,379 --> 00:04:03,816 I leave it on the field every day. 115 00:04:03,841 --> 00:04:06,324 But, okay, let's try it with all three of us. 116 00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:08,808 So, Bob, back to my underpants story. 117 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,245 Oh, do we need to go back? I think I got it all. 118 00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:13,626 Here's the thing. I signed up for an improv class, 119 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,944 and I'm really nervous about it. 120 00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:16,571 So we're not talking about underpants? 121 00:04:16,595 --> 00:04:19,338 No, we are. Our first performance is tonight. 122 00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:21,008 I'm starting to freak out, so I was wondering 123 00:04:21,033 --> 00:04:23,533 if you'd come to the show and yell out a suggestion. 124 00:04:23,558 --> 00:04:25,137 In this case, underpants, 125 00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:26,915 so I can roll into my underpants story. 126 00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:28,699 I don't think the point of improv is to have 127 00:04:28,723 --> 00:04:30,181 a story ready to tell, Teddy. 128 00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:32,448 Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Think-em-ups. 129 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,018 Listen, please just come. 130 00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:35,503 Please come and yell out "underpants." 131 00:04:35,528 --> 00:04:37,620 - No. - Yes, and? 132 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,864 I can't believe those kids. 133 00:04:39,889 --> 00:04:41,367 Darn rule-breaking hooligans. 134 00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,484 On parent-teacher-student conference night. 135 00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:45,265 Out of my way, squirrel! 136 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:46,935 Oh, I'm so mad. 137 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,851 Uh-oh, cayenne smoothie is moving around in there. Ow. 138 00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:52,592 Oh, oh, oh, boy. I better go back home. 139 00:04:52,961 --> 00:04:54,788 Oh, no. Oh, no, I'm gonna poop! 140 00:04:54,813 --> 00:04:56,428 Oh, no. Oh, no, it's gonna happen. 141 00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:57,769 Oh, thank God. 142 00:04:57,794 --> 00:04:59,447 Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. 143 00:04:59,471 --> 00:05:00,562 Hold it, hold it. 144 00:05:00,587 --> 00:05:02,881 Damn it! Oh, what? 145 00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:04,452 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 146 00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:06,145 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 147 00:05:06,169 --> 00:05:08,812 - Tag, you're it. - Eh, stupid kids! 148 00:05:08,837 --> 00:05:10,315 I mean, hi. 149 00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:12,385 Childhood. Happy memories. 150 00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:14,153 Oh, maybe I'll just go behind there. 151 00:05:14,177 --> 00:05:17,637 No. No. No. No. No! Hi. 152 00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:19,954 Oh, my God, it's happening! 153 00:05:19,979 --> 00:05:22,479 Okay... 154 00:05:22,749 --> 00:05:24,390 Oh, poop. 155 00:05:28,157 --> 00:05:29,602 You gotta believe me. 156 00:05:29,627 --> 00:05:31,393 I almost always poop in toilets. 157 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,638 It was an accident. An emergency. 158 00:05:33,663 --> 00:05:36,898 - That's what they all say. - They all say that? Who's they? 159 00:05:36,923 --> 00:05:38,715 - Public poopers. - What?! 160 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:41,046 No, no, that's not who I am. 161 00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:42,565 This was all just a mistake. 162 00:05:42,589 --> 00:05:45,240 I'm on this new exercise program, and I'm eating healthy. 163 00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:46,945 I think my body's just confused 164 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,646 that I'm not shoveling garbage into it. 165 00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:50,261 It's not used to salads. 166 00:05:50,286 --> 00:05:53,406 And that damn cayenne pepper is a spicy little bastard. 167 00:05:53,431 --> 00:05:55,395 So, I didn't need to hear any of that. 168 00:05:55,419 --> 00:05:58,529 - Uh, the fine is $100. - Okay. 169 00:05:58,554 --> 00:06:01,568 But since you have no wallet or ID, or even a phone, 170 00:06:01,593 --> 00:06:03,844 we need someone to come pay the citation 171 00:06:03,869 --> 00:06:05,149 with cash before you can leave. 172 00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:08,221 Okay, no problem. I'll call my husband and he'll be right here. 173 00:06:08,246 --> 00:06:10,655 I get a phone call, right? Like in the movies? 174 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,061 - Let me see your hands. - Wha? 175 00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:13,897 - Palms up. - Oh, hand sanitizer. 176 00:06:13,921 --> 00:06:16,320 Right, right, right, right. 177 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:18,304 Oh, come on, Bob. 178 00:06:18,329 --> 00:06:20,458 Kids, tell your dad to come to my improv show 179 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:21,603 and yell out "underpants." 180 00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:24,341 - I'll do it at your wedding. - Sorry, Teddy, we're quietly 181 00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:26,734 and obediently doing our work, like good children. 182 00:06:26,759 --> 00:06:28,745 But if you want some advice, maybe just have fun with it? 183 00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:30,705 You think improv's supposed to be fun?! 184 00:06:30,729 --> 00:06:31,948 Sorry, sorry. 185 00:06:31,972 --> 00:06:34,399 Bob's Burgers. Oh, hi. What? 186 00:06:34,424 --> 00:06:36,733 You're kidding. Are you serious? 187 00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:40,122 Uh, okay, okay, let me look. We might be a little short. 188 00:06:40,146 --> 00:06:42,217 But I'll go to the bank and head right over. 189 00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:45,102 Oh, uh... I-I promise. I won't. 190 00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:47,535 L-Love you, too. Bye. 191 00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:50,488 That was, um, the restaurant supply store. 192 00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:54,102 They called me personally to say they're-they're having 193 00:06:54,127 --> 00:06:56,546 a half-off sale for the next 30 minutes. 194 00:06:56,571 --> 00:06:57,731 And you love them? 195 00:06:57,756 --> 00:06:59,831 - Yes, very much. - Aw. 196 00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:01,627 So I'm gonna go check it out real fast 197 00:07:01,651 --> 00:07:03,404 and be back in time to take you to your conferences. 198 00:07:03,428 --> 00:07:05,573 Kids, go upstairs and do your homework. 199 00:07:05,598 --> 00:07:08,372 - Teddy, um, leave. - Okay, fine. 200 00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:10,033 But if you need someone to shout "underpants" 201 00:07:10,058 --> 00:07:12,103 in a room full of ten or 11 people, 202 00:07:12,128 --> 00:07:13,823 don't come crawling to me, Bob. 203 00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:15,254 Okay, sounds good. 204 00:07:15,279 --> 00:07:16,548 Are you sure you don't want us to stay here 205 00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:18,465 and do extra work, Dad, 206 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,587 with our sweet little hands? 207 00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:21,237 Yeah, really get into it. 208 00:07:21,262 --> 00:07:22,665 I don't know, maybe mop the ceiling? 209 00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:24,352 No, that's-that's okay. 210 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,890 We could tackle that sticky corner that we always avoid. 211 00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:29,672 So many hairs stuck there. It looks like a little forest. 212 00:07:29,697 --> 00:07:31,956 I'm positive. Go upstairs and I'll be right back 213 00:07:31,981 --> 00:07:34,280 with all those restaurant supplies I'm gonna get. 214 00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:36,128 Your wish is our command, Papa. 215 00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:38,939 Looks like there's no cleaning our way out of this one. 216 00:07:38,964 --> 00:07:41,133 And Mom's still out there, angrily strutting around 217 00:07:41,157 --> 00:07:43,060 thinking of God knows what to punish us. 218 00:07:43,084 --> 00:07:45,302 And God's seen some pretty rough stuff. 219 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:48,967 So, uh, yeah, my husband 220 00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:50,913 - will be here really soon. - Mm-hmm. 221 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,034 And he'll bring the money and we'll clear all this up. 222 00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:54,956 - Uh-huh. - He just has to stop at the bank. 223 00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:57,416 Sure. He sounds great and totally real. 224 00:07:57,441 --> 00:08:00,628 - He is real. - You know what else is real? Toilets. 225 00:08:00,652 --> 00:08:02,797 I know. I was looking for one. 226 00:08:02,821 --> 00:08:04,156 Would it help if I showed you a picture 227 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,926 of what they look like? Toilet. Toilet. 228 00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:09,469 That's the kind I have. Oh, that's a nice one. 229 00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:10,829 - That one's okay. - Ugh. 230 00:08:10,853 --> 00:08:12,287 That one's dumb. 231 00:08:13,523 --> 00:08:15,056 What? Bank holiday? 232 00:08:15,116 --> 00:08:17,704 I know, right? Another one? 233 00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:20,713 They should just tell us the days that aren't bank holidays. 234 00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:22,012 It'd be a shorter list. 235 00:08:22,073 --> 00:08:23,825 Well, at least the ATMs are open. 236 00:08:23,849 --> 00:08:25,591 I know, but it's not the same. 237 00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:28,537 - I like the human interaction. - Why is my card not working? 238 00:08:28,562 --> 00:08:31,021 Oh, it's all scratched up. How did that happen? 239 00:08:31,117 --> 00:08:33,133 Oh, right. 240 00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:35,762 Get in there. Oh, ah... 241 00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,397 - Is that my ATM card? - Yeah. 242 00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:39,843 I'm showing Gene and Tina how they can open any door 243 00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:41,400 with a simple credit card. 244 00:08:41,425 --> 00:08:42,811 I'm not sure I need to know this. 245 00:08:42,835 --> 00:08:44,029 Then why did you sign up for 246 00:08:44,053 --> 00:08:45,848 Louise's Life Skills Workshop? 247 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,482 I thought it would be more about organizing my closet. 248 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:50,777 I'm just here to network. Hello, I'm Gene. 249 00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,037 What do you do for work? 250 00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:54,359 Oh, my God, I hate that workshop. 251 00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:57,417 Math, math, math. Oh, who can do math 252 00:08:57,441 --> 00:08:59,193 - at a time like this?! - I know. 253 00:08:59,217 --> 00:09:00,629 I think we finally pushed Mom over the edge. 254 00:09:00,653 --> 00:09:02,195 I'm scared of what she's gonna do to us. 255 00:09:02,238 --> 00:09:04,791 - It's gonna be bad. - It's gonna be really bad. 256 00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,718 You think she's gonna ground us through high school? 257 00:09:06,742 --> 00:09:09,423 What if she replaces our hands and feet with mops and brooms, 258 00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,005 makes us clean all day long? 259 00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:12,724 What if she hires a gorilla to eat us?! 260 00:09:12,748 --> 00:09:14,342 I know they're plant-eating, gentle giants, 261 00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:16,083 but everyone has their price! 262 00:09:16,108 --> 00:09:17,712 What if she says no TV? 263 00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:19,736 - Aah! - Aah! I don't want that life! 264 00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:21,739 Hey, did you guys watch that really great TV show 265 00:09:21,763 --> 00:09:24,829 - that was on the TV last night? - LOUISE and GENE and TINA: No! 266 00:09:24,854 --> 00:09:26,934 Too bad. It was a shared cultural moment. 267 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,120 See you later. 268 00:09:28,144 --> 00:09:30,436 We can't let this happen! 269 00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,365 - Just the gum? - Yes. 270 00:09:32,389 --> 00:09:34,501 So, you were sitting at home, and you thought, 271 00:09:34,525 --> 00:09:36,307 "I need some gum, I'm gonna get in the car 272 00:09:36,332 --> 00:09:38,432 and head over to the grocery store"? 273 00:09:38,457 --> 00:09:39,853 Uh... yeah. 274 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:41,466 So can you just ring it up? 275 00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:43,301 Yep. Ringing up one gum. 276 00:09:43,326 --> 00:09:45,429 One gum for the man that only needs gum. 277 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,120 Look, I'm kind of in a hurry. 278 00:09:47,145 --> 00:09:49,266 I-I came to cash a check because the banks are closed 279 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,675 and my ATM card isn't working. 280 00:09:50,699 --> 00:09:53,252 - Cash a check? - Yeah. Like, if I write a check 281 00:09:53,277 --> 00:09:55,461 for $40 over the amount of my purchase, 282 00:09:55,612 --> 00:09:57,182 you give me the $40. 283 00:09:57,206 --> 00:09:59,399 Oh, no, I, uh, I know what cashing a check means, 284 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,409 - but we're not in the '80s anymore. - What? 285 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,689 Most stores stopped doing that a long time ago, including ours. 286 00:10:04,714 --> 00:10:06,705 Well, there should be a sign that says that. 287 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,048 There is. 288 00:10:08,073 --> 00:10:10,119 - Damn it! - You still want the gum? 289 00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:12,191 - Yes. - That'll be $1.39. 290 00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,791 Uh, one dollar 291 00:10:14,816 --> 00:10:17,628 and 39 cents. 292 00:10:17,652 --> 00:10:19,485 This feels like time traveling. 293 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:22,407 Crap. 40 minutes till parent- teacher-student conferences. 294 00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:24,593 Oh, why can't we just have lots of money lying around? 295 00:10:24,618 --> 00:10:26,785 Oh. Linda's secret emergency money drawer. 296 00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:29,530 - Of course! I forgot. - You know, the more I hear you, 297 00:10:29,555 --> 00:10:31,475 the more I feel like your life doesn't make sense. 298 00:10:31,499 --> 00:10:33,752 But, uh, I'm just a normal person. 299 00:10:33,777 --> 00:10:35,143 Shush. 300 00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:36,979 I don't know what's taking him so long. 301 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,315 He should have been here by now. 302 00:10:38,339 --> 00:10:39,988 Yeah, most people who exist 303 00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:41,267 would have been here by now. 304 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,583 You know what? I have an idea. 305 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:45,312 I'll go home, I'll get the money, I'll come right back and pay you. 306 00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:47,182 No, no, that's not how this works. 307 00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:48,774 No, yeah, it's good, it's good. 308 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:51,069 So should I just let everyone out of jail? 309 00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:52,496 I'm sure they'll all come back, right? 310 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,313 I mean, it's something to try. 311 00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,166 I'm gonna go, I'll be right back. You'll see. 312 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,857 You really should sit back down. 313 00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:00,730 If you walk out that door, I'll be forced to detain you. 314 00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:02,838 More than I'm already detaining you. 315 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,846 - But we're friends. - Nope. 316 00:11:04,871 --> 00:11:07,831 Acquaintances? If I saw you on the street, I'd say hi. 317 00:11:07,856 --> 00:11:11,174 - Ma'am, don't open that door. - No, it's fine, it's fine. 318 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,837 Oh, double poop. 319 00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:20,023 In case Mom really does go crazy and says no TV, 320 00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:22,808 we should make a cardboard decoy TV for the living room, 321 00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:24,631 and we'll put the real TV in my room. 322 00:11:24,656 --> 00:11:26,053 - Um, my room? - My room. 323 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:27,923 Okay, we'll put the TV in the middle of the floor 324 00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:29,533 and let it come to who it likes best. 325 00:11:29,557 --> 00:11:31,034 Ah! Homework! 326 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,593 Yeah, my hands are so sore 327 00:11:32,618 --> 00:11:34,321 from doing all this homework so well. 328 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:37,287 And my butt is sore from all of my homework farts. 329 00:11:37,312 --> 00:11:40,161 - Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh, great. - Are you chewing gum? 330 00:11:40,186 --> 00:11:42,107 Since when do you have gum we don't know about? 331 00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:44,310 Did you get anything good at the restaurant supply store? 332 00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:45,666 Maybe some fun aprons? 333 00:11:45,691 --> 00:11:47,835 - Oh, um... - Apron fashion show? 334 00:11:47,896 --> 00:11:49,874 First of all, even if I did get some good aprons, 335 00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:52,817 you kids are in trouble, so no apron fashion show. 336 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,642 - Boo. - And second of all, um, 337 00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,887 there wasn't anything good at the store, so I got some gum 338 00:11:57,912 --> 00:11:59,514 to cheer myself up. 339 00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:01,820 And now I'm going into my bedroom to get something, 340 00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:04,362 and I don't want you to follow me. 341 00:12:04,529 --> 00:12:06,991 I like new Gum Dad. He's in charge. 342 00:12:07,398 --> 00:12:08,801 You made a big mistake 343 00:12:08,825 --> 00:12:10,797 putting me in here, a big mistake. 344 00:12:10,822 --> 00:12:13,689 Pretty Woman big. Not that I do Pretty Woman stuff. 345 00:12:13,714 --> 00:12:15,530 My lawyer's gonna be so mad! 346 00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:17,157 What's your lawyer's name? 347 00:12:17,182 --> 00:12:19,719 John Lawyer...ton. 348 00:12:19,744 --> 00:12:22,128 John Lawyerton. I've heard of him. 349 00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:23,321 - He's good. - Oh. 350 00:12:23,346 --> 00:12:24,938 Oh, there's Sergeant Bosco. 351 00:12:24,963 --> 00:12:26,726 He'll vouch for me. You'll see. 352 00:12:26,751 --> 00:12:28,301 He knows I'm good for the money. 353 00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:30,693 - Sergeant Bosco! - Linda Belcher? 354 00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:33,451 - What are you doing here? - It's all a big misunderstanding. 355 00:12:33,475 --> 00:12:35,211 I was on a power walk and I got a ticket 356 00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:37,380 and I don't have my purse or any ID. 357 00:12:37,404 --> 00:12:39,049 Yeah? What'd you get a ticket for? 358 00:12:39,073 --> 00:12:42,209 Nothing. It was nothing. It-it was no big deal. 359 00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:44,134 Public defecation. 360 00:12:44,159 --> 00:12:46,379 - Oh, dear Lord. - No, no, please. 361 00:12:46,404 --> 00:12:47,889 It was the cayenne pepper. 362 00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:49,582 And maybe the flax, I don't know. 363 00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:52,142 Oh, but come on, Bosco, you know me. 364 00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:55,588 I thought I knew you. Public poopers are just... ugh. 365 00:12:55,613 --> 00:12:58,665 I mean, this is a society. There are rules. 366 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,111 I know, I know. I say that all the time. 367 00:13:01,136 --> 00:13:04,073 - It's just the worst. - Well, what about murderers? 368 00:13:04,098 --> 00:13:06,726 Well, murder is bad, too, but at least 369 00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:09,602 it's not pooping outside like some kind of psycho. 370 00:13:09,627 --> 00:13:12,438 Sergeant Bosco, wait, come back. 371 00:13:12,463 --> 00:13:14,794 - It was an accident. - That went well. 372 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,302 Come on, secret emergency money underwear drawer. 373 00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:20,924 Nothing. And so many holes in the underwear. 374 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:23,127 Why does she keep these? 375 00:13:23,151 --> 00:13:24,640 Are you looking for Mom's secret cash stash? 376 00:13:24,665 --> 00:13:26,545 Hey. I told you not to follow me. 377 00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:28,214 You look like a different guy from behind. 378 00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:29,454 Huh. What's this? 379 00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:31,749 "I.O.U. seven dollars. Love, Linda." 380 00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:33,414 Why would she write herself I.O.U.s? 381 00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:35,846 - Because she's honest. - Dad, what's happening? 382 00:13:35,871 --> 00:13:37,255 Why do you need emergency money? 383 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,820 And where's Mom? She should be back by now. What's going on? 384 00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:41,930 Was Mom taken and you need to pay her ransom? 385 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,734 Should we call Liam Neeson? Do we need some Neeson? 386 00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:48,275 I bet he drives a Nissan. 387 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,533 Tina, kids, calm down. Everything's okay. 388 00:13:50,558 --> 00:13:53,197 Bull-doody. Give us some answers, old man. 389 00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:56,406 Okay, fine. While she was on her walk, 390 00:13:56,431 --> 00:13:59,726 your mom got a ticket, and we have to go pay the ticket 391 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,488 but I don't have enough cash and the banks are all closed. 392 00:14:02,513 --> 00:14:04,134 - Mom got a ticket? - Yes. 393 00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:06,109 It's just a ticket? So she's fine? Phew. 394 00:14:06,134 --> 00:14:08,134 Tina, I know this is a little awkward, but... 395 00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:09,922 you don't have any babysitting money, do you? 396 00:14:09,946 --> 00:14:12,642 Like, $18? I'll-I'll pay you back tomorrow. 397 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,500 With interest. 50%, I get half. 398 00:14:14,525 --> 00:14:16,503 - Tina, let's do this. - I don't have any. 399 00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:18,384 I spent it all on Boys 4 Now perfume. 400 00:14:18,409 --> 00:14:21,041 Pituitary by Boyz 4 Now. It's nasty. 401 00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:24,135 I think I have an idea of how to get some money. 402 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,272 Wait a minute, what did Mom get a ticket for? 403 00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,732 I promised her I wouldn't tell you. 404 00:14:27,756 --> 00:14:29,689 - Jaywalking? - Walking way too loud? 405 00:14:29,714 --> 00:14:32,904 - Did her boob fall out again? - No. Wait, her boob fell out? 406 00:14:32,928 --> 00:14:36,481 At the store once. She didn't notice for a while. She's fun. 407 00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:37,876 - Was she trespassing? - No. 408 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:39,285 - Carjacking? - No. 409 00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:41,309 Flap-jacking? It shouldn't be illegal. 410 00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:43,047 No, look, the reason she got a ticket 411 00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:45,657 was not that big of a deal, but I promised 412 00:14:45,682 --> 00:14:47,760 - I wouldn't tell you. - Why are we stopping here? 413 00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:49,596 Time to say goodbye to an old friend. 414 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,518 Is that a panini maker? 415 00:14:51,543 --> 00:14:53,172 It's my CD player. 416 00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:54,859 It's the only thing that truly gets me. 417 00:14:54,884 --> 00:14:58,509 So as you can see, it-it's in great condition. 418 00:14:58,534 --> 00:15:01,048 - Mm... - I paid probably a lot for it. 419 00:15:01,073 --> 00:15:02,993 And it-it has the cassette thingy here 420 00:15:03,017 --> 00:15:04,703 that you plug into the dashboard, 421 00:15:04,727 --> 00:15:07,854 which is basically magic, and the CD goes there. 422 00:15:07,879 --> 00:15:11,339 Oh, it has skip protection, by the way, so rest easy. 423 00:15:11,364 --> 00:15:13,819 I-I could let it go for $40. 424 00:15:13,844 --> 00:15:16,547 - I'll give you five bucks for it. - What? A-Are you crazy? 425 00:15:16,572 --> 00:15:18,865 CDs are coming back. I-In a big way. 426 00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:21,033 I'm young and hip and I can vouch for that. 427 00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:23,180 So am I and so can I, daddio. 428 00:15:23,204 --> 00:15:24,686 Five bucks, take it or leave it. 429 00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:27,614 - $18? Final offer. - Let me handle this, Dad. 430 00:15:27,639 --> 00:15:31,354 Hey. Give my dad $18 for his old man music machine. 431 00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:33,190 I'd listen to her if I were you, mister. 432 00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:34,438 She seems loco. 433 00:15:34,463 --> 00:15:36,305 - No. - Well, I tried. 434 00:15:36,575 --> 00:15:38,347 Okay, that didn't go great. 435 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,255 But at least I didn't have to lose you. 436 00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:42,339 - To that mean man. - What are we gonna do now? 437 00:15:42,364 --> 00:15:44,128 Well, your parent- teacher-student conferences 438 00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:46,143 start in half an hour. 439 00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:47,895 I guess there's one other thing we can do. 440 00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:49,719 - Tell us what Mom did? - No. 441 00:15:49,744 --> 00:15:51,541 Hello, Teddy? 442 00:15:52,395 --> 00:15:53,777 I deserve this. 443 00:15:53,802 --> 00:15:55,882 I was supposed to be getting fitty in my 40s 444 00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:58,231 but instead I got poopy in the park. 445 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,134 I'm a bad person rule breaker. 446 00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:01,889 No wonder the kids all got detention. 447 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,914 Look at what kind of example I set. 448 00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:06,019 They'll never respect me again after this. 449 00:16:06,044 --> 00:16:07,780 They probably don't want to come 'cause they won't be able 450 00:16:07,805 --> 00:16:09,944 to look me in my public pooping eyes. 451 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,020 That's why they're taking so long. 452 00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:14,517 - What are you in for? - Attempted to sell drugs 453 00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:16,500 to a state trooper. You? 454 00:16:16,525 --> 00:16:19,038 - Public defecation. - Oh. 455 00:16:22,663 --> 00:16:24,035 So, you need $18? 456 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,104 - Yep. - Is it okay if I only have a 20? 457 00:16:26,128 --> 00:16:28,179 Yeah, that's fine, Teddy. Thank you. 458 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,814 Do you want to give me the two dollars' change now, 459 00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:31,942 or just owe me the whole 20? 460 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,753 I-I'll owe you 20, Teddy. 461 00:16:33,778 --> 00:16:35,664 I'm so sorry, we're-we're in a big rush. 462 00:16:35,688 --> 00:16:36,966 I can't believe Linda got a ticket 463 00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:38,520 and you won't tell me what it's for. 464 00:16:38,545 --> 00:16:40,918 Probably flapjacking. 465 00:16:40,943 --> 00:16:43,694 He won't tell us, either. He's keeping that mustache shut. 466 00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:45,410 Except to chew his precious gum. 467 00:16:45,435 --> 00:16:46,467 Oh, you got gum? 468 00:16:46,492 --> 00:16:48,607 Y-Yeah. Do-do you want a piece? 469 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,259 I never say no to a piece of gum. 470 00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:52,514 Okay, uh, here you go. Now if I could just get that... 471 00:16:52,538 --> 00:16:54,892 Maybe one for now, one for later? 472 00:16:54,916 --> 00:16:57,278 - Okay, fine. Here. - Big night for me, too, I guess. 473 00:16:57,303 --> 00:16:59,155 - Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. - I'm just bouncing off the walls. 474 00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:00,153 Going through scenarios, 475 00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:02,176 - Right. - you know, pre-improvising. 476 00:17:02,201 --> 00:17:03,830 - Yep. - Who knows. Who knows what 477 00:17:03,854 --> 00:17:04,968 the night holds, right, Bobby? 478 00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:07,247 - Mm-hmm. - Ah. Maybe I'll think of some improvs, 479 00:17:07,272 --> 00:17:10,076 maybe I won't, maybe my mind will just go blank. 480 00:17:10,101 --> 00:17:11,706 Okay, fine. Teddy, I'll come. 481 00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,264 I'll come and yell out "underpants." 482 00:17:13,289 --> 00:17:14,850 Oh, really? That's great. 483 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,794 Because you weren't that into it before. 484 00:17:16,819 --> 00:17:18,632 Yeah, no, yeah. It's-it's gonna be great. 485 00:17:18,657 --> 00:17:20,968 So, anyway, Teddy, we really have to go. 486 00:17:20,992 --> 00:17:23,336 We have parent-teacher-student conferences in 20 minutes. 487 00:17:23,361 --> 00:17:25,978 Gosh, I-I'm just dying to know what Linda's ticket was for. 488 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,773 I bet it was something great and the cops just misunderstood. 489 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,551 Like stealing a cloud. 490 00:17:30,576 --> 00:17:32,617 It was for public pooping, okay? 491 00:17:32,642 --> 00:17:34,357 I mean, allegedly. I mean, not that. 492 00:17:34,381 --> 00:17:36,966 I was improvising. Forget I said anything. 493 00:17:36,991 --> 00:17:39,324 I'm taking the 20. Bye. 494 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:40,622 Wow. 495 00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:41,994 Mmm. Just chew it, Teddy. 496 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,673 Don't swallow it. Damn it. 497 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,039 Okay, you guys have to pretend 498 00:17:50,063 --> 00:17:51,579 I didn't tell you what your mom did. 499 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,859 May-may or may not have done, I mean. 500 00:17:53,883 --> 00:17:55,712 Y-You have to erase that from your minds. 501 00:17:55,737 --> 00:17:57,154 There are some things your father tells you 502 00:17:57,178 --> 00:17:58,369 that you never forget. 503 00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:00,390 And "your mom got a ticket for public defecation" 504 00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:01,939 is definitely one of them. 505 00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,843 I can't believe this and I can't believe I learned 506 00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:05,536 a new word for poop today. 507 00:18:05,561 --> 00:18:07,038 Defecation, defecation, defecation... 508 00:18:07,062 --> 00:18:08,391 ... defecation, defecation, defecation. 509 00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:10,373 Dead. They're all dead. 510 00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:14,949 Bob, Tina, Gene, Louise, dead. 511 00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,066 That's why they aren't gettin' me. 512 00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:19,170 I've got no one and nothing in this world. 513 00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:20,551 I live here now. 514 00:18:20,576 --> 00:18:22,201 Can I, can I switch cells? 515 00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:25,532 Hi, we're here to pay the fine for Linda Belcher. Here it is. 516 00:18:25,557 --> 00:18:26,797 In small bills. 517 00:18:26,822 --> 00:18:28,397 Great. Why is it wet? 518 00:18:28,618 --> 00:18:30,338 - Is that sweat? - Probably. 519 00:18:30,449 --> 00:18:33,731 20, 25, 26... 520 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,320 We're kind of in a hurry, so... 521 00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:37,141 Well, now I've lost my place. 522 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,407 20, 25... 523 00:18:38,432 --> 00:18:40,010 It's just, we have the kids' 524 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,513 parent-teacher-student conferences, 525 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,578 and we need to get to the school, so... 526 00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:46,742 - Oh, let me know how that goes. - We got detention today. 527 00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,633 That's probably already in your system. 528 00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:50,135 I don't know if that's how it works. 529 00:18:50,159 --> 00:18:51,970 Yeah, we had a meeting about it with the chief. 530 00:18:51,994 --> 00:18:53,181 Oh, God. 531 00:18:53,478 --> 00:18:55,331 Hi, honey. Sorry it took so long to get here. 532 00:18:55,355 --> 00:18:58,333 There were, um, some, uh, money things. 533 00:18:58,358 --> 00:18:59,908 It's fine. Hi, kids. 534 00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,038 - Hi, Mom. - Hey, there. - Hello, Mother. 535 00:19:02,063 --> 00:19:04,149 - You told them, didn't you? - Told us what? - No. 536 00:19:04,173 --> 00:19:06,341 I don't even know what defecation is. 537 00:19:06,366 --> 00:19:07,675 Something you do at church? 538 00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:10,155 Yeah, sorry. And I told Teddy. 539 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:12,180 And maybe a guy at the ATM. 540 00:19:12,205 --> 00:19:14,515 - I-I can't really remember. - Okay, fine. 541 00:19:14,708 --> 00:19:16,537 I pooped in public and I got arrested. 542 00:19:16,705 --> 00:19:18,830 Not technically. You were detained. 543 00:19:18,855 --> 00:19:21,024 - She got detention. - Thank you. 544 00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,525 So, newsflash: your mom isn't perfect, okay? 545 00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:26,190 What made you think we thought you were perfect? 546 00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:28,087 Yeah, you're a work in progress. 547 00:19:28,112 --> 00:19:30,400 Hey, we should really finish this conversation i-in the car. 548 00:19:30,424 --> 00:19:32,052 Uh, the conferences start in seven minutes. 549 00:19:32,076 --> 00:19:35,761 So we should leave jail and go do that. 550 00:19:35,821 --> 00:19:38,091 So you thought I was gonna say no TV? 551 00:19:38,116 --> 00:19:40,877 -Kind of? -I would never. I'm not a monster. 552 00:19:40,902 --> 00:19:43,793 TV's almost my favorite child. If I had a favorite. 553 00:19:43,957 --> 00:19:45,231 We do celebrate its birthday. 554 00:19:45,256 --> 00:19:46,975 And you thought we'd never respect you 555 00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,717 or listen to you again? 556 00:19:48,742 --> 00:19:51,053 Well, yeah. Why would you, after all this? 557 00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:53,055 Are you serious? You did time. 558 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,813 I respect you more than ever now. 559 00:19:54,838 --> 00:19:57,150 Yeah, you've changed, man. You got hard. 560 00:19:57,175 --> 00:19:59,361 And we also kind of don't want to end up like you. 561 00:19:59,386 --> 00:20:00,864 So I... 562 00:20:00,888 --> 00:20:02,282 kind of scared you straight? 563 00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:04,042 - Damn straight. - Well, then, good. 564 00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:05,794 - Okay, let's go in. - Wait a sec. Listen. 565 00:20:05,818 --> 00:20:08,296 - We're already late. - So we'll be a little late. 566 00:20:08,321 --> 00:20:10,053 Here's the thing: it is important 567 00:20:10,189 --> 00:20:12,011 for everyone to follow the rules. 568 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,759 But sometimes we make mistakes. 569 00:20:13,784 --> 00:20:16,122 Some we can control, like putting a hot dog 570 00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:18,389 in a pencil sharpener, and some we can't. 571 00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:20,392 - Like clenching your sphynxter. - "Sphincter." 572 00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:21,753 - What did I say? - Never mind. 573 00:20:21,778 --> 00:20:23,096 But as long as we're trying, 574 00:20:23,121 --> 00:20:25,104 we'll all be okay, you know? 575 00:20:25,129 --> 00:20:27,456 - You pooped in a bush. - Look at me. 576 00:20:27,481 --> 00:20:30,605 Any of you bring this up inside of that school, ever, 577 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,908 the TV goes in the ocean. 578 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,072 - Got it. - We won't, ever! 579 00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:36,900 - You, too, Bob. - I'm so scared of you right now. 580 00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:39,486 Good. Now somebody get me a baby wipe. 581 00:20:39,510 --> 00:20:40,417 Okay. 582 00:20:40,442 --> 00:20:41,770 So we need a suggestion. 583 00:20:41,795 --> 00:20:42,795 Anything at all. 584 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,641 - Underpants. - Chicken wings. 585 00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:47,419 Oh, chicken wings. I got a great story about chicken wings. 586 00:20:47,444 --> 00:20:49,795 I mean, i-it's a thing I'm just coming up with now. 587 00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:51,924 - Okay, chicken wings. - What? 588 00:20:51,948 --> 00:20:53,926 Ah, one order of chicken wings, please. 589 00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:55,783 Oh, my God. 590 00:20:55,934 --> 00:20:58,527 Uh, take it easy, sir. Who brought this guy? Uh... 591 00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:02,767 ♪ I started eating healthy but it made me have to deuce now ♪ 592 00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:07,532 ♪ I tried to do it stealthy but I landed in the hoosegow ♪ 593 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,941 ♪ This song I'd like to dedicate ♪ 594 00:21:09,966 --> 00:21:13,208 ♪ To everyone who's defecate ♪ 595 00:21:13,302 --> 00:21:15,797 ♪ -ed in public ♪ 596 00:21:15,821 --> 00:21:17,306 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 597 00:21:17,330 --> 00:21:18,880 ♪ Just as long as you can ♪ 598 00:21:18,975 --> 00:21:20,285 ♪ For there might be repercussions ♪ 599 00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:22,217 ♪ If you try to drop anchor ♪ 600 00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:24,122 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 601 00:21:24,146 --> 00:21:26,241 ♪ Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it ♪ 602 00:21:26,265 --> 00:21:27,793 - ♪ Hold it, hold it in ♪ - ♪ I'm gonna make it ♪ 603 00:21:27,961 --> 00:21:29,627 ♪ I'm not gonna break it ♪ 604 00:21:29,652 --> 00:21:31,772 ♪ Gonna hold it, gonna hold it, hold it in. ♪ 605 00:21:31,821 --> 00:21:35,421 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --