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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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LINDA: Come on! We're dying out here!
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I spent all week on that costume.
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- We want to see you in it.
- LOUISE: Hold on, woman!
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Three kids getting in
a group costume here.
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There's a lot of
Tina's boobs in my face.
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GENE: And Gene's.
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So, Teddy,
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you gonna go home and hand out candy?
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Uh, no, I'm gonna go donate blood,
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the candy of the veins.
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Ugh. I mean, good for you.
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You're gonna donate blood?
At night? On Halloween?
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Yeah, it's fun. They
turn the bloodmobile
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into a vampire mobile.
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Hey, you guys should come.
It's right down the street.
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I want to give my
blood to a vampire car.
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Bob, What do you say?
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You want to come donate
blood with me and Linda?
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Mm, no.
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Bob's a little squeamish around blood,
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but I'm in 'cause I'm a good person.
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Great. You know what blood type you are?
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I'm AB. It's half an ABBA.
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I'm A positive. I remember
'cause it was my first A plus.
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And Bob is O negative. I
remember that 'cause I said,
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"Oh, don't be negative just 'cause
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I got a better grade
on my blood test, you."
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- (laughs)
- Wait. Bob, you're O negative?
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- That's amazing.
- Why?
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Isn't O negative stupid blood?
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No, O negative is the
universal donor blood.
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They can put your blood in anyone.
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- Your blood is hero blood.
- Oh, God, is it?
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You got to come donate
blood with us, Bobby.
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No, I don't, Teddy.
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And I know that might
make me a horrible person,
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but, oh-oh... oh, well.
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Wow. Hero blood just
sloshing around inside of you.
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- (guttural groaning)
- But you won't let someone
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stick a needle in there
and fill up a blood bag?
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- Oh. Oh.
- Teddy, no.
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- He's gonna faint. Stop.
- LOUISE: Okay, We're ready.
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Ta-da. Snailed it.
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What? Oh. Ha! 'Cause you're a snail.
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You guys can breathe in there, right?
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I don't want to be the mom
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who suffocated her
kids in a giant snail.
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We can breathe just
fine. See, I'm breathing
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through the candy-hatch here.
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I thought we were calling
that the fart vent.
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It's both. And it also
happens to be wide enough
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for an entire bowl of candy
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from a certain candy-stiffer's house.
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I-I mean, a single piece of candy,
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which is all we plan on taking.
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Wait a minute. Does
this have anything to do
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with that one house that ran
out of candy a few years ago
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that you can't let
go of for some reason?
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First of all, it was two years ago,
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and then they stiffed
me again last year,
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but I can't believe you remember that.
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I barely remember that. (laughing)
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- (doorbell rings)
- ALL: Trick-or-treat.
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Here you go.
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Full-sized Professor
Caramels? Mama likey.
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- GENE: Mmm.
- Uh-oh.
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That was our last one.
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- Sorry.
- Wait. Seriously? You're out of candy?
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Come back next year, and we'll, uh...
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we'll give you twice
as much candy, okay?
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Yes, of course. These things happen.
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I will see you in 365 days.
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Trick-or-treat!
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GENE AND TINA: Trick-or-treat.
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One for you, one for
you, and one for you.
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Um, aren't you forgetting something?
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Happy... Halloween?
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Guys, it's me, from last year.
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From when you ran out of candy,
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and you promised to
make it up this year?
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Mm, no, I don't remember that.
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(laughs) You're messing
with me. Good one.
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Okay, now go ahead and plop
another candy into my bag.
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- Excuse me?
- You guys owe me double candy.
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So, double me up. On the
double. Let's go, double time.
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Okay, I think you should go now.
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Not without my candy!
Let me at that bowl!
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You know what? Now we're
gonna take this back.
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No! That's-that's my property!
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This isn't over. This... isn't... over!
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- (all gasp)
- TINA: Oh, no! Attack leopards!
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- (all whimpering)
- (leopards growling)
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- (panting)
- Aah! Get away! Get off me!
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There were attack leopards?
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I don't remember the attack leopards.
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Shh, shh, shh, shush. You
probably just blocked it out.
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- (phone ringing)
- Bob's Burgers.
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A-a to-go order? Uh, uh,
wait. Let me get a pen.
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- Where's a pen?
- Uh, pen, pen, pen.
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Want me to make one real quick?
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I got a bucket of paint in the truck.
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Can we have a quick snail conference?
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Louise, when I signed
on for this costume,
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I was hoping to do some
major sibling bonding.
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- And we will.
- I guess I just thought,
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once we got inside the snail suit,
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you'd hopefully change your mind
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and maybe not want to steal
an entire bowl of candy?
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Yeah, I don't want bad candy karma.
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Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup,
not stealing.
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It's candy justice.
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Hey, when someone stiffs one of us,
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they stiff all of us, right, guys?
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- I... guess?
- The Three Stiff-ka-teers.
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Don't worry your snail head about this.
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We're gonna walk up to their house.
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They open the door.
They won't see our faces.
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Tina, you'll do all the talking.
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Distract them by
commenting on their decor.
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Maybe something like
the line we talked about.
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(sighs) "Check out that wall.
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"Where'd you get it? Walmart?"
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Exactly. Anyway,
they'll start blabbering,
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I'll open the hatch and
grab their candy bowl.
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- Justice served.
- Uh...
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So I guess we're gonna deliver a burger.
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- We do that?
- It's for someone staying
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at the hotel at the end of the block.
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It's so close, I just said "yes."
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Also, making money is... is good.
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- Right?
- Attaboy, Bob.
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- Uh, we can deliver it for you, Dad.
- Really?
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Yeah. And it's not at all because
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I'm putting off something
that I really don't want to do.
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No, no, no, no, no. Sorry, Dad.
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We're busy. Nice try.
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- They might give us a tip.
- Okay, we'll do it.
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I mean, who can resist
tipping three adorable kids
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- with tip-me face.
- And tip-me butt.
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- ♪ Put the money in my bum-bum. ♪
- Gene.
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Hello?
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- Is anyone here?
- TINA: I guess we should wait
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in the lobby for a hotel
person to take the burger?
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Or we take it up
ourselves to... room 313.
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'Cause we got to hustle.
Candy justice awaits.
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Candy Justice sounds like
a show about a stripper
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who's also a judge.
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(elevator bell dings)
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(lights buzzing)
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TINA: This isn't creepy at all.
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Really? 'Cause I have both
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the heebies and the jeebies.
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(lights buzzing)
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WOMAN (chanting):
Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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I go bye-bye now.
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Hey, everyone gets excited about burgers
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in their own way. Also, tip money.
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Burger delivery.
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WOMAN: Enter.
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Regnum intrare spiritum.
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Oh, good. The bait's here.
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Uh, bait? Bait for what?
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- Come. Come in.
- Are we the bait?
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I'm not baiting around to find out.
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(all screaming)
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(all screaming)
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- (Tina panting)
- What the hell that was that?
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An elderly hippie demon lady?
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Okay, let's just put that behind us.
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It was unfortunate,
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but you know what
makes everything better?
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- Dry underwear?
- Candy. Let's go. Um, Gene,
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where's the snail-shell
part of the costume?
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Uh-oh. I may have dropped
it in creepy lady's room
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because I was scared
and so were my hands?
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Damn it, Gene. We need that.
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That's what covers our
faces. Ugh. We got to go back.
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Wait. What? Go back into there?
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Or we leave the shell part up there,
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we don't do your plan, and now
our costume is a confident snail
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that's coming out of its shell?
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No, we're gonna get the shell,
then everything's gonna be fine.
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For some of us. Ha-ha-ha. Kidding.
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For all of us. Tina, you go first.
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- (door closes)
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- Hello.
- ALL: Aah!
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- Where'd you come from?
- From right down here.
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I was bending over. So,
are you trick-or-treating?
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We don't get a ton
of trick-or-treaters,
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but we got a bunch of
sewing kits or shower caps.
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- You look like shower-cap kids.
- Thank you.
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We were just here delivering a burger
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to a creepy old lady in room 313,
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but one of us dropped part
of our costume in there.
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Ah, Dolores. (chuckles)
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I guess conjuring up the spirit
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of your dead lover can make you hungry.
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Wait. Did you say
"Conjuring the spirit"?
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00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:02,789
"Of her dead lover"?
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Yup. Dolores checks into room 313
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00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,125
every Halloween to conjure him up.
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Brings in a lot of lookie-loos.
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Good for business.
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Well, you should see
us the rest of the year.
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- Hi, kids.
- Oh, hi, Gus.
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- They were just asking about Dolores.
- Yup.
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Dolores's lover died on Halloween night
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in room 313, 50 years ago, so
she comes up here every year
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to conjure up Roger's spirit.
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- Aw.
- A Roger conjure.
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And a bunch of us hang out in the lobby,
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take in the vibe, have a few drinks,
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and hope the ghost shows up.
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It's a haunted hoot. And,
you know, Dolores would be
217
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an age-appropriate match for Old Gus.
218
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Sorry, Gus. We're on the clock.
219
00:07:40,892 --> 00:07:41,992
So, can we mm...?
220
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:45,233
Uh...
221
00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:47,972
Totally normal lady, it's us again.
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May I just grab that
snail shell? Don't hurt me.
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Good luck on conjuring the spirit
224
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- of your dead lover.
- Thank you.
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Does it work, by the
way? I'm just curious.
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It hasn't worked yet, but hopefully,
227
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by adding his
favorite food as bait...
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00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:02,925
This cheeseburger... I
can finally lure him here.
229
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,297
Well, we're rooting for you two.
230
00:08:04,322 --> 00:08:05,476
And when he shows up,
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I'll banish him to
hell for all eternity.
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00:08:07,876 --> 00:08:09,276
- Huh?
- What? - Whoa.
233
00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:11,023
Oh, crap. I hope Roger didn't hear that.
234
00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:13,649
Well, that sounds fun, but we
got to snail-trail out of here.
235
00:08:13,674 --> 00:08:15,484
Or maybe we can stay a little bit.
236
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I just want to catch some dark arts,
237
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- hear the damnation download.
- Ugh.
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00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,545
Okay, a minute.
239
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:22,842
It's so great you're
coming with us, Bob.
240
00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:24,265
I'm walking with you.
241
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I'm gonna look at the
van because Teddy said
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00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:28,154
he wouldn't leave
unless I look at the van.
243
00:08:28,179 --> 00:08:29,923
Trust me, once you see
what they did to it,
244
00:08:29,948 --> 00:08:31,882
you'll change your mind
about donating blood.
245
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,194
- TEDDY: Huh?
- LINDA: Fun.
246
00:08:34,219 --> 00:08:37,058
(as Dracula): Welcome
to Transyl-vein-ya.
247
00:08:37,088 --> 00:08:38,489
- Get it?
- (as Dracula): Soon,
248
00:08:38,514 --> 00:08:41,082
we will drain you of one
pint of your human blood.
249
00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:43,942
Then you can relax here
and enjoy cookies and juice.
250
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,394
(sighs) Oh, boy.
251
00:08:45,419 --> 00:08:47,173
Uh, okay, I saw it. Now I'm leaving.
252
00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:48,785
(coughs) O negative.
253
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:51,111
- What?
- (coughs) O negative. Mm-hmm.
254
00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:52,604
O neg? Really? Uh...
255
00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:54,246
(as Dracula): Well, well, well.
256
00:08:54,271 --> 00:08:55,682
(as Dracula): It's not every day we get
257
00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:58,652
to suck a universal blood donor's blood.
258
00:08:58,677 --> 00:09:00,644
Wait, I-I'm not donating blood.
259
00:09:00,669 --> 00:09:03,181
(normal voice): Huh, seriously? You're
O neg, but you're not gonna donate?
260
00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:05,975
Sorry, guys, I just have a
thing about blood and needles.
261
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,868
You'll be fine. We work with
needle weenies all the time.
262
00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:11,292
Uh, I-I don't love that term.
263
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,952
Hey, just think of how
happy you could make someone.
264
00:09:13,977 --> 00:09:16,017
(in childish voice): Hey,
mister, you saved my life,
265
00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:18,877
and now I'm gonna go out
and save the rain forest.
266
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:20,836
You're doing a lot of voices.
267
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:23,542
Oh, no. I'm slipping away.
268
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:26,135
Beep. Beep. Beep...
269
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,061
- He's dying.
- Somebody do something!
270
00:09:28,086 --> 00:09:30,488
Fine. I'll donate my really great blood.
271
00:09:30,513 --> 00:09:32,252
- Yay.
- You just saved the boy
272
00:09:32,277 --> 00:09:33,944
who's gonna save the rain forest.
273
00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:35,169
What's the "rain forest"?
274
00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,123
LOUISE: So what did Roger do
275
00:09:37,148 --> 00:09:38,714
to deserve eternal damnation?
276
00:09:38,739 --> 00:09:40,473
Did he eat the last slice of pizza?
277
00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:42,339
Oh, it was a long time ago.
278
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:45,465
- We were young, we were dating.
- I hate him.
279
00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:46,988
We were edgy back then.
280
00:09:47,013 --> 00:09:50,214
We were even gonna try this
new thing called "Thai food,"
281
00:09:50,239 --> 00:09:52,949
but we had to leave 'cause
Roger came down with a cold.
282
00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:56,472
Even coughing and sneezing,
he was a handsome bastard.
283
00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:58,898
- Hot. I think?
- But our last date was
284
00:09:58,923 --> 00:10:01,566
at the Halloween party in this hotel,
285
00:10:01,591 --> 00:10:02,892
50 years ago.
286
00:10:03,339 --> 00:10:05,907
Roger looked amazing as Spartacus.
287
00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:08,154
It seemed like we were
in our own little world.
288
00:10:08,179 --> 00:10:11,715
He was tossing nuts into the air
and catching them in his mouth
289
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,184
- to impress me.
- GENE: I'm impressed.
290
00:10:13,209 --> 00:10:16,499
I was, too. How do people do that?
291
00:10:16,524 --> 00:10:20,633
Roger went to get us drinks,
and he never came back.
292
00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:22,243
- What?
- I asked around,
293
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,727
if anyone's seen Spartacus.
294
00:10:23,752 --> 00:10:25,920
People kept saying, "I am Spartacus,"
295
00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:27,145
but I hadn't seen the movie,
296
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,775
so I didn't know what
they were referring to.
297
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,034
Finally, someone told me that
298
00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:34,314
they saw him at the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie.
299
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,482
I couldn't believe it.
300
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:37,007
I was devastated.
301
00:10:37,032 --> 00:10:41,169
The next day, I read in
the paper that he'd died
302
00:10:41,194 --> 00:10:42,828
in this very room.
303
00:10:43,081 --> 00:10:44,148
He was murdered?
304
00:10:44,173 --> 00:10:45,725
No, it was cardiac arrest.
305
00:10:46,031 --> 00:10:47,727
There was no sign of foul play,
306
00:10:47,752 --> 00:10:50,020
but I bet there was
some foreplay, the creep.
307
00:10:50,045 --> 00:10:53,133
They canoodled, she
left, and then he died.
308
00:10:53,158 --> 00:10:54,343
Typical man.
309
00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:56,402
And so, every year since,
310
00:10:56,503 --> 00:10:59,939
I've come here to conjure that no-good,
311
00:10:59,964 --> 00:11:01,226
cheating S.O.B.'s spirit
312
00:11:01,251 --> 00:11:03,285
and send it to hell!
313
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,613
I mean, wasn't him dying kind
of enough of a punishment?
314
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:08,071
Hell just seems like kind of a lot.
315
00:11:08,096 --> 00:11:09,196
And so sweaty.
316
00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:11,341
Tina, let her have it. I get it.
317
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,229
I got my own little
vendetta going on tonight.
318
00:11:13,254 --> 00:11:14,587
Can't you both just move on?
319
00:11:14,688 --> 00:11:17,190
Halloween's about
forgiveness... I think.
320
00:11:17,215 --> 00:11:19,817
Forgiveness and
Frankenstein... the two Fs.
321
00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:21,309
Yeah, so maybe forgive this guy
322
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,301
who wrote you what looks
like 10,000 love letters.
323
00:11:23,326 --> 00:11:25,465
- (scoffs)
- "Dear Glorious Dolores,
324
00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:28,091
"I was thinking of you today,
and it made me think of you...
325
00:11:28,116 --> 00:11:31,137
"your smell, your neck parts,
the way your eyes light up
326
00:11:31,162 --> 00:11:32,594
when I smell your neck parts."
327
00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:34,942
Dolores, this doesn't sound
like a cheater wrote it.
328
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:36,134
A cheater did write it.
329
00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:38,515
But what if what you think
happened didn't happen?
330
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,113
What if there's another explanation?
331
00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:42,105
Okay, Miss I Just Walked
in Here with a Burger
332
00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:43,883
and Now I Know Everything."
333
00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:46,076
Yeah, knock it off, Stally Parton.
334
00:11:46,101 --> 00:11:48,221
We've got to go see a Ven about a Detta.
335
00:11:48,246 --> 00:11:50,669
- (groans) I don't want to vendetta.
- And I don't think Dolores
336
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:51,899
should vendetta, either. I mean,
337
00:11:51,923 --> 00:11:53,851
- isn't it possible Roger is innocent?
- No.
338
00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:55,243
- But maybe?
- No!
339
00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:56,979
But what if there was a way to
figure out that he didn't cheat?
340
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,538
There's not, so drop it.
341
00:11:58,563 --> 00:12:01,531
Yeah, Tina, drop it so we can
go pick-up some stinkin' candy!
342
00:12:01,556 --> 00:12:03,102
Wait, how about this?
343
00:12:03,127 --> 00:12:04,728
Give me a chance...
It's still early.
344
00:12:04,753 --> 00:12:06,516
If I can't figure it
out, I'll go do your plan.
345
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:08,208
Sounds good. I like that.
346
00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:10,344
But if I can, then we go
trick-or-treating like normal.
347
00:12:10,368 --> 00:12:11,702
No vendettas, just candy.
348
00:12:11,727 --> 00:12:13,027
Ooh, I like that.
349
00:12:13,052 --> 00:12:13,952
So what do you say?
350
00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:16,118
I say you're on, you
poor romantic idiot.
351
00:12:16,143 --> 00:12:18,971
Oh, my! This one's not rated PG-13.
352
00:12:18,996 --> 00:12:21,128
- Give me that.
- (chuckles): Oh.
353
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,897
WOMAN (gasps): I just got cold, right?
354
00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:27,585
Is it cold in here? Ghost-y cold?
355
00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,062
Could be ghost-y cold.
356
00:12:29,087 --> 00:12:30,600
Ah, this is gonna be the year.
357
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,159
I bought this camera online.
358
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:33,770
It can take pictures of apparitions.
359
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,240
- And Jupiter. Jupiter's my cat.
- Okay. So, it's not great
360
00:12:37,265 --> 00:12:39,576
that Dolores kicked us out
of her room to keep conjuring.
361
00:12:39,601 --> 00:12:41,721
But at least she let us
keep some letters and photos.
362
00:12:41,746 --> 00:12:43,713
- Hot leads here, I betcha.
- Come on, Tina.
363
00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:45,973
Give up, and let's go
get that bowl of candy
364
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:47,451
while there's still candy in it.
365
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,643
No. I'm gonna prove
Roger's not a cheater,
366
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,855
and then we're
gonna trick-or-treat
367
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,319
without committing any candy crimes.
368
00:12:52,347 --> 00:12:54,148
Okay. So, here's a group photo.
369
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,892
Halloween night, 50 years ago.
370
00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:58,028
And there's I Dream of
Jeannie, the temptress.
371
00:12:58,053 --> 00:12:59,153
But who was she?
372
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,746
GENE She's tall,
likes big, boxy belt buckles,
373
00:13:01,771 --> 00:13:03,433
- BBBBs.
- Yeah, what's up
374
00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:04,658
with that boxy belt buckle?
375
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:05,984
It's not very genie-ish.
376
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,062
Kinda just looks like
the belt buckle of someone
377
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:09,500
- who steals someone's boyfriend.
- (door opens)
378
00:13:09,525 --> 00:13:12,175
Did I miss anything? Any
sightings? Any cold spots?
379
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,934
I felt a cold spot.
Didn't I just say that?
380
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,212
I think I just said that.
381
00:13:15,237 --> 00:13:16,797
I think you might just be under-dressed?
382
00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:19,424
You guys seem a little young
to be conjuring enthusiasts.
383
00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:21,284
Oh, no, some of us are trying to prove
384
00:13:21,309 --> 00:13:23,244
that Dolores's theory
about Roger is wrong.
385
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,255
Wait a minute, you think Roger wasn't
386
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,580
a cheating cheat-face cheater?
387
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:27,924
I know. It's ridiculous.
388
00:13:27,949 --> 00:13:29,527
It's not ridiculous,
and I'm gonna prove it,
389
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:31,086
if I can just concentrate for a second.
390
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:34,464
Uh, but, uh, can that wait
until after she conjures Roger?
391
00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:35,823
I kinda told everyone at work
392
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,023
that I was gonna take
a picture of a ghost.
393
00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:39,672
- (whimpering)
- Okay. We're all set.
394
00:13:39,697 --> 00:13:41,238
Now it's time for... Hey!
395
00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:42,997
That's an amazing Big Bird costume.
396
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:43,922
(squeals)
397
00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:44,937
- You felt that?
- Yes!
398
00:13:44,962 --> 00:13:45,914
But I distracted you.
399
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:48,202
My arm still feels it
when you shove a needle in it!
400
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,279
(sighs): Oh, boy.
401
00:13:49,304 --> 00:13:50,756
- Uh, what?
- (groans)
402
00:13:50,781 --> 00:13:52,215
Looks like I didn't find a vein.
403
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,797
- I'm gonna have to try it again.
- (weakly): What?
404
00:13:53,822 --> 00:13:56,153
Hey, uh, look at that,
uh, Star Wars costume.
405
00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:57,597
- Space, am I right?
- (squeals)
406
00:13:57,622 --> 00:13:59,656
- Did you get it?
- No, nope, nope. Not in.
407
00:13:59,681 --> 00:14:01,415
Your veins roll away from the needle.
408
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,890
(woozy gurgling)
409
00:14:02,915 --> 00:14:04,895
It's like your veins are
playing hard to get, Bob.
410
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:05,986
Not like mine.
411
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,912
The needle slid right
into my beefy vein.
412
00:14:07,937 --> 00:14:09,766
- (gurgling)
- (groans)
413
00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:10,991
Let's try the other arm.
414
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,617
Okay, really make a fist this time.
415
00:14:12,642 --> 00:14:14,137
Hey! Oh, look. There!
416
00:14:14,162 --> 00:14:16,063
- (squeals)
- (groans) Damn it.
417
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:18,175
You said you were very
good with needle weenies.
418
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,167
You're the worst weenie I've ever had.
419
00:14:20,679 --> 00:14:21,936
This is ridiculous.
420
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,081
It's Halloween, and all I've
got is this bowl of nuts.
421
00:14:24,106 --> 00:14:25,315
(chewing)
422
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:27,641
Uh, I-I feel totally
close to a-a breakthrough.
423
00:14:27,819 --> 00:14:29,186
(chewing) Well, now I'm thirsty.
424
00:14:29,211 --> 00:14:31,664
Do you think the barkeep knows
his way around a ginger ale?
425
00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:34,213
Wait, Roger went to get drinks
after he was eating nuts.
426
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,393
(gasps dramatically) Oh, my God, Tina.
427
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,851
You mean salty peanuts
made someone thirsty?
428
00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:40,263
Are we on CSI: Salty Nut Unit?
429
00:14:40,288 --> 00:14:42,265
Dumb investigation time is over.
430
00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,600
It's candy bowl o'clock.
431
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,233
- Let's go.
- No, I'm so close.
432
00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:47,318
I just need to look at
that dang group photo again.
433
00:14:47,343 --> 00:14:49,774
- The photo, the letters... they're gone!
- (gasping)
434
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:51,517
Okay, that is odd.
435
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,442
What the heck?
436
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,134
Now I really need a ginger ale.
437
00:14:54,321 --> 00:14:56,328
Antonio, make it a double!
438
00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:01,577
So, someone took my photo?
439
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,600
And Roger's letters? Why?
440
00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:04,889
Maybe it was Ken Burns.
441
00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:06,548
He loves old photos and letters.
442
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:08,059
Guess what, people, you mess
443
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:10,085
with the snail head, you
mess with the snail tail.
444
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,563
And now the snail tail
wants some answers.
445
00:15:12,588 --> 00:15:14,323
Thanks, Louise. Maybe
someone didn't want us
446
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,667
to find out the truth,
447
00:15:15,692 --> 00:15:17,993
didn't want Dolores
to stop coming around.
448
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,203
Yeah, maybe someone who wanted Dolores
449
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,502
to keep trying to conjure up Roger
450
00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:23,699
so they could say they
saw a ghost and take
451
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:24,890
- a picture.
- Huh?
452
00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:26,735
- Or was it you, Gus?
- Oh, my!
453
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,338
Maybe you don't want Dolores
to stop coming in here
454
00:15:28,363 --> 00:15:29,511
'cause maybe you have a little crush.
455
00:15:29,536 --> 00:15:31,683
What? Oh, I'm-I'm blushing.
456
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:33,261
But I didn't take anything.
457
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:34,686
Maybe it was that guy.
458
00:15:34,711 --> 00:15:37,197
What? I'm on my way to a party.
459
00:15:37,222 --> 00:15:39,223
I only came in to use
the little bees' room.
460
00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:40,816
I did. It went great.
461
00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:42,328
I'm glad those aren't real bees.
462
00:15:42,352 --> 00:15:45,153
'Cause if I got stung,
I'd "bee" in the hospital.
463
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,013
With anaphylactic shock. (chuckles)
464
00:15:47,038 --> 00:15:48,399
I'm seriously allergic.
465
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:50,277
And bathrooms are for customers only.
466
00:15:50,302 --> 00:15:52,403
- Next time. Can't undo it.
- Wait a minute.
467
00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:54,948
Maybe it was you, Mr. Manager.
468
00:15:54,973 --> 00:15:56,874
- (yelps)
- You get more business
469
00:15:56,899 --> 00:15:59,353
if Dolores keeps coming
here year after year.
470
00:15:59,378 --> 00:16:00,812
(gasps) That's true.
471
00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,621
- Of course.
- It wasn't me.
472
00:16:02,646 --> 00:16:05,173
Sure, Dolores brings a
Halloween bump in business,
473
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,600
but that doesn't mean
I'd mess with your totally
474
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:10,145
not annoying investigation
to keep people coming here.
475
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,672
Aah! Well, no one leaves
until we figure this out.
476
00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:15,022
- I'm leaving.
- Oh, yeah, you can go.
477
00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:17,252
- (laughing)
- (music playing)
478
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,264
♪ Nothing having to do
with blood is happening ♪
479
00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:22,591
♪ I'm just sittin' in a chair ♪
480
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:26,300
♪ And I'm not lookin'
at anything at all. ♪
481
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:28,238
(woozy): Oh, no.
482
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:31,166
(exhales) What happened?
483
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,792
Oh, oh... (gurgles)
484
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:35,762
(grunts) I-I got to be done by now.
485
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:39,007
Hello? I-I-I think I'm all done!
486
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:42,086
Hey, I need someone to take
this needle out of my arm!
487
00:16:42,111 --> 00:16:43,979
(laughing)
488
00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:45,123
It's getting too full.
489
00:16:45,148 --> 00:16:46,748
It's gonna take all my blood.
490
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,777
(panting): Oh, God.
491
00:16:47,802 --> 00:16:49,460
I got to get out of here.
492
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:51,253
Okay, I'm just gonna
rip this out of my arm.
493
00:16:51,354 --> 00:16:52,972
No! No, I'm not.
494
00:16:52,997 --> 00:16:56,491
I got to get help. Mm...
495
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,617
(gasps) Okay, okay.
496
00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,075
Ev-Everything's coming with me.
497
00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:02,074
(inhales, exhales) I can do this.
498
00:17:02,099 --> 00:17:03,665
(inhales deeply, exhales)
499
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,592
(gurgling, grunting)
500
00:17:06,617 --> 00:17:07,917
Almost there. (grunts)
501
00:17:08,053 --> 00:17:09,887
Oh, come on. (grunting, gurgling)
502
00:17:09,912 --> 00:17:11,449
(screams)
503
00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:12,941
(gurgles)
504
00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:14,819
Okay, let's run through what happened.
505
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,188
Roger caught peanuts in his
mouth, which is very cool.
506
00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:19,147
- And sexy.
- It's okay.
507
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,559
He then leaves you to go get drinks.
508
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:21,750
The next thing we know,
509
00:17:21,927 --> 00:17:24,195
he's seen by the elevator
with I Dream of Jeannie?
510
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,521
And in the morning, he's
found dead of cardiac arrest.
511
00:17:26,698 --> 00:17:28,065
Huh. Peanuts.
512
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,491
Drinks. Cardiac arrest.
513
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,235
I still think the bee guy did it.
514
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:32,694
- (gasps) That's it!
- I'm right?!
515
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:33,819
- No!
- (grumbles)
516
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,045
Anaphylactic shock!
517
00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:36,164
He's allergic to bees.
518
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,057
Roger was allergic to peanuts!
519
00:17:38,082 --> 00:17:39,993
Think about it. Their date
at the Thai restaurant.
520
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,419
He came down with a sudden cold?
521
00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:42,955
Thai food is super peanut-y.
522
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,714
And the night he died,
he was eating nuts.
523
00:17:44,739 --> 00:17:46,150
But he died of a heart attack.
524
00:17:46,175 --> 00:17:48,443
Well, maybe an allergic
reaction can cause that?
525
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,526
It can. Oh, baby, it can.
526
00:17:50,551 --> 00:17:51,800
If he was allergic,
527
00:17:51,825 --> 00:17:54,397
why was he catching all
those peanuts in his mouth?
528
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:57,257
Really showboating,
getting me all worked up.
529
00:17:57,282 --> 00:17:58,782
Well, he probably didn't realize it.
530
00:17:58,807 --> 00:18:00,575
Allergies can come on later in life.
531
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,371
When I was in my 20s,
I was all about bees.
532
00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,144
I used to catch 'em and shake 'em.
533
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,871
But that still doesn't explain
534
00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,230
why Roger went upstairs
with I Dream of Jeannie.
535
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,535
Which is why I want to look
536
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,080
at the group photo that someone stole.
537
00:18:12,105 --> 00:18:14,807
- And that someone is Dolores!
- (gasping)
538
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:17,193
But, but how did you know?
539
00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:18,118
It was a hunch.
540
00:18:18,151 --> 00:18:20,154
And then I saw the photo sticking out
of the back of your pants.
541
00:18:20,179 --> 00:18:21,580
Oh. You can see this?
542
00:18:21,605 --> 00:18:23,933
Wait, you took the
photo and the letters?
543
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:26,933
Yes. And it's my own damn
business why I did it.
544
00:18:26,958 --> 00:18:28,121
TINA: I Dream of Jeannie.
545
00:18:28,222 --> 00:18:30,441
She's the final piece. Who was she?
546
00:18:30,466 --> 00:18:32,644
Or, possibly, who was "he"?
547
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:33,869
- Huh?
- Look.
548
00:18:33,894 --> 00:18:35,886
That's an Adam's apple
that we didn't notice
549
00:18:35,911 --> 00:18:37,570
'cause someone stole the photo.
550
00:18:37,595 --> 00:18:39,608
And knuckle hair that
looks like shag carpet.
551
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:41,086
And why's he wearing a pager?
552
00:18:41,111 --> 00:18:42,478
(gasps) That thing's a pager?
553
00:18:42,503 --> 00:18:44,542
GUS: Yeah. That's how
pagers looked back then.
554
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:46,740
I had one when I owned this town.
555
00:18:46,765 --> 00:18:48,105
This was all my turf.
556
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:49,375
I was untouchable.
557
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,003
They called
me Payday. I...
558
00:18:51,028 --> 00:18:53,613
I mean, when I was a-a bike messenger.
559
00:18:53,638 --> 00:18:55,339
I bet I Dream of Jeannie was a doctor.
560
00:18:55,516 --> 00:18:56,816
They used to have male doctors.
561
00:18:56,841 --> 00:18:58,285
And I bet he was helping Roger,
562
00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,894
because Roger was having
an allergic reaction.
563
00:18:59,919 --> 00:19:02,136
Tina, I think your stupid
story might be right.
564
00:19:02,161 --> 00:19:04,935
Roger ate some peanuts,
started getting symptoms.
565
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,089
TINA: He goes to the bar.
He's sweaty, woozy.
566
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,695
And Dr. Jeannie-Man notices
567
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,417
and says maybe he
needs to lie down, so...
568
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:13,176
LOUISE: He helps Roger to the
elevator so he can go to his room
569
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,144
and get some rest.
570
00:19:14,169 --> 00:19:15,691
Maybe they didn't know
about peanut allergies.
571
00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:17,636
Male doctors probably
weren't that good back then.
572
00:19:17,661 --> 00:19:19,607
My poor Roger.
573
00:19:19,632 --> 00:19:21,550
He didn't cheat on me.
574
00:19:21,575 --> 00:19:23,167
At least he died doing what he loved,
575
00:19:23,192 --> 00:19:25,878
eating peanuts in a hotel lobby.
576
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,019
(laughs) You full-bottom-ists.
577
00:19:28,044 --> 00:19:29,945
- You're a hoot!
- It's "phlebotomist."
578
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,527
- What did I say?
- Well, uh,
579
00:19:31,552 --> 00:19:33,119
Bob should be about finished.
580
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,331
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.
581
00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:36,923
What? What-what is it?
582
00:19:36,948 --> 00:19:38,615
- (woozy groaning)
- Oh, crap.
583
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,566
Here, let me, uh, clean
you up a little bit.
584
00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:42,160
And I'll give you extra cookies
585
00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:43,626
if you don't tell anybody about this.
586
00:19:43,651 --> 00:19:45,743
- (weakly): Huh. Okay.
- That's fair.
587
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,988
Congratulations, Bob.
588
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:48,654
You donated blood one time.
589
00:19:48,679 --> 00:19:50,412
Come on, let's hear it for Bob!
590
00:19:50,437 --> 00:19:51,917
- Everybody!
- (mouth full): I did it.
591
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:54,210
- Yes, you did.
- I can do anything.
592
00:19:54,249 --> 00:19:56,917
I saved your life! I saved your life!
593
00:19:57,144 --> 00:19:58,897
I-I got to sit down.
594
00:19:58,922 --> 00:20:01,722
So why did you take the photo
and the letters, Dolores?
595
00:20:01,747 --> 00:20:04,558
Oh, I was having a cocktail at the bar.
596
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,519
I needed a little conjuring break.
597
00:20:06,544 --> 00:20:09,363
And I overheard you talking
and I suddenly thought,
598
00:20:09,388 --> 00:20:11,535
"What if this was all
just a huge waste of time?
599
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:12,808
What if she's right?"
600
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:16,577
And she was. About you.
And maybe about me, too.
601
00:20:16,602 --> 00:20:18,235
I feel like a fool.
602
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,496
Makes sense. Sorry.
603
00:20:19,521 --> 00:20:22,578
Roger, I'm so sorry.
604
00:20:22,603 --> 00:20:24,537
I mean, it's sorta romantic.
605
00:20:24,562 --> 00:20:26,148
In your own twisted way,
606
00:20:26,173 --> 00:20:27,540
you loved Roger so much
607
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:29,557
that you kept this
thing going for 50 years.
608
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:31,354
A-And just to put this out there,
609
00:20:31,378 --> 00:20:33,136
Gus might still be in the lobby.
610
00:20:33,161 --> 00:20:34,933
- Not a bad rebound guy.
- Hmm.
611
00:20:34,958 --> 00:20:36,725
I'd like to see that guy catch a nut.
612
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,988
- (wind hissing)
- Oh, now you decide to come, Roger?
613
00:20:40,013 --> 00:20:42,019
- Whoa.
- Someone's jealous.
614
00:20:42,044 --> 00:20:43,700
So I guess this means I lose our bet
615
00:20:43,724 --> 00:20:45,191
and we won't do my amazing plan?
616
00:20:45,216 --> 00:20:47,102
Yep. Just treats, no tricks.
617
00:20:47,127 --> 00:20:48,705
- Let's get out there, huh?
- Sure, sure, sure.
618
00:20:48,729 --> 00:20:50,196
But what if we go to that house,
619
00:20:50,221 --> 00:20:52,408
we totally just get candy normally,
620
00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:54,480
and we open the fart hatch
and Gene does a little fart?
621
00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:57,036
- Nope.
- Okay, so I just fart inside the snail
622
00:20:57,061 --> 00:20:58,328
and we all die like Roger?
623
00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:00,992
Too soon. Actually, no, it's not.
624
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,006
♪ I went on down to
the party next door ♪
625
00:21:04,031 --> 00:21:07,647
♪ The music sounded
groovy, and I wanted more ♪
626
00:21:07,672 --> 00:21:10,574
♪ Then, at the end, that's
when things got weird ♪
627
00:21:10,599 --> 00:21:13,596
♪ 'Cause everyone there
had been dead for years ♪
628
00:21:13,621 --> 00:21:16,923
- ♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
629
00:21:16,948 --> 00:21:18,615
♪ Those ghouls could
shimmy and shake ♪
630
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,159
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
631
00:21:20,184 --> 00:21:22,151
♪ It was a spooky soiree ♪
632
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,481
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
633
00:21:23,506 --> 00:21:25,398
♪ They're dancin'
back from the grave ♪
634
00:21:25,423 --> 00:21:27,090
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
635
00:21:27,115 --> 00:21:28,844
♪ That guy's dead
and that guy's dead ♪
636
00:21:28,869 --> 00:21:30,370
♪ That lady died peacefully in bed ♪
637
00:21:30,395 --> 00:21:32,448
♪ That guy doin' the boogaloo ♪
638
00:21:32,473 --> 00:21:34,244
♪ Pretty darn sure
that he's dead, too. ♪
639
00:21:34,269 --> 00:21:36,816
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --