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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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TEDDY: Ooh, Ham and Egger!
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We don't have ham and eggers, do we?
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- No.
- N-Not the food, the movie.
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They're gonna show it tonight on TV.
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- "Don't Count Out The Ham and Egger."
- It sounds delicious.
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- It's a boxing movie.
- Oh, boo.
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"Ham and Egger" is an old boxing term
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for fighters who don't
have much left in 'em.
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Guys who agree to fight just
to earn enough for a meal.
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- Like ham and eggs?
- Exactly.
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I mean, that movie's kind
of a poor man's Rocky, right?
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Are you nuts, Bob?
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The Ham and Egger is
way better than Rocky.
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I have to admit I never saw it, Teddy.
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But didn't they have the song
in it called "Look of the Lion"?
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Yeah. What's your point?
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Well... (chuckles) Rocky
III had "Eye of the Tiger."
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A totally different animal, Bob.
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- Hmm. I mean...
- Just do yourself a favor,
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watch it tonight... Love,
loss, blood, revenge.
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You had me at blood and revenge, Teddy.
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You know, I used to take boxing classes
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at the Y before you kids were born.
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- Y did you stop? (chuckles)
- Did you accidentally
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- kill a guy in the ring?
- No.
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Did you accidentally
pants a guy in the ring?
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- How many fights did you win, all of them?
- Well...
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- 20? Ten?
- Uh... it's...
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- Any?
- Okay, I never actually got in the ring.
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- What?!
- I only did it for a week, okay?
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I-I don't know why I brought it up.
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I didn't think you guys
would ask so many questions.
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Hey, Mike. Table for one?
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Just kidding, I know you're
just dropping off the mail.
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Mm-hmm. It's funny
every time you say that.
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- I know.
- You got a package today.
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(sing-songy): Ooh, I bet it's the
sheet masks I ordered for "Spa-turday."
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- Gimme, gimme, gimme.
- Wait, there's a P in Saturday?
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(groans) This is like the D
in Wednesday all over again.
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No, it's Mom and Gene's weekly spa time.
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Every Saturday before dinner,
me and my Geenie Weenie
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get together for a little
mother-son pampering.
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Eh, I do that with my truck.
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We get in our swim suits,
put on some spa music,
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hop in the tub, I vent
to Mom about my week,
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and we just spa.
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And I definitely don't pee
in the tub even a little bit.
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Okay, then, so long.
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- You're welcome.
- Oh.
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- Uh, thanks, Mike.
- Yeah.
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Here, Linda. You got a letter.
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Ooh, it's from Janine over
at Yours Truly Stationery.
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Oh, it's happening.
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She's starting the group
for female business owners
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that she was talking about.
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"Inspiring local businesswomen
sharing stories
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of their challenges and successes."
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That sounds great, Lin.
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I know, I'm so excited.
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This group is made for me.
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I'm a woman and a restaura-saur.
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- A-A what?
- A restaura-saur.
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(chuckles) It's-it's restauranteur.
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- What did I say?
- Restaura-saur, like dinosaur.
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- Well, Mom's way sounds cooler.
- Yeah.
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Yeah. Look at us Belcher girls.
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- Local businesswomen sticking together.
- Rawr!
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Business Woman Dinosaurs...
I think that's a show on PBS.
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MAN: Hey, string, want to tangle?
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Oh. What? What'd I tell you
about punching the string?
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- Sorry, boss.
- What's the matter with you?
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- You think we can sell dented string?
- No.
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So... he punches string?
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He's training, he works
in a string factory.
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It makes sense.
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Pretty cool his boss doesn't yell at him
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for having his shirt off, too.
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Look at him showing
those spools who's boss.
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Yeah, I pity the spools.
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This is just basically the
same exact story as Rocky.
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Should we just rent that?
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Sorry, Dad. We're Ham and Egger kids.
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They're showing part
two tomorrow... you in?
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- Ham straight.
- I'm out.
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But remind me to show
you good movies sometime.
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Thank you, Janine. I'll,
uh, see you then, bye.
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Oh boy. Gene's not gonna like this.
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- Maybe I shouldn't do it.
- Do what?
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The businesswomen's meetings.
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They're during Spa-turday.
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Oh. Well, do you want to go?
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- I really, really want to go.
- Then you should.
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Gene can handle it. I think.
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- Just do spa day on another day.
- Maybe.
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Hey, what if you tell
Gene I can't do Spa-turday?
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- Hell no.
- Right, right.
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- Gene?
- I'm not eating my secret brisket stash!
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No, that's not why I'm here.
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Oh. Then do you want some?
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No. No, thank you, Gene.
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Oh, well, maybe just a little. Mmm.
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It's good. So, you know how I'm gonna do
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that inspiring women's
business people thingy?
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The future is female.
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Yeah it is.
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Well, it's once a week for six weeks
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- It's only six weeks.
- Uh-huh.
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And the meetings are on
Saturdays during our spa time.
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What?!
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The, uh... meetings are on Saturdays
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during our spa time,
and it starts tomorrow.
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No!
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You made me spit out secret brisket!
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LINDA: All right,
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I'm off to my first meeting.
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- (Gene grumbles)
- Gene, are you sure we just can't move
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Spa-turday to tomorrow?
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Again with this, Mother?
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Spunday? Do you hear how
ridiculous that sounds?
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Yeah, Mom.
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Besides, Sunday is "Mommy
and Me Salami and Tea" time.
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You guys keep a busy schedule.
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Gene, your father has
nicely offered to sub for me.
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You're not gonna miss a thing.
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Uh, yeah, I'm, uh,
looking forward to it.
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I-I could use a deep scrub.
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Dad, do you even know
where your T-zone is?
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Uh, is that my tushy?
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Lucky guess.
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It's not gonna be the same.
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It'll be great.
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In a different, hairy dad kind of way.
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Okay, I'm off to the community center.
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Bye, everyone. (smooching)
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Stay out of my room.
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Hello, Linda. Thanks for coming.
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Aw, thanks for having me, Janine.
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Women, women, women, go!
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So, eh, for our first meeting,
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we're all wearing
stickers with our names
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and the name of our business.
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Go ahead and put on one
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- and have a seat.
- Okay.
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♪ Businesswomen, look at us go ♪
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♪ Doing all the business
from our head to our toes ♪
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♪ I feel so empowered,
I feel ten out of ten ♪
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♪ 'Cause I'm talking
lots of business ♪
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♪ With these businesswomen ♪
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♪ Where should I put my name tag ♪
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♪ Should I put it here, no,
should I put it here, no ♪
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♪ Should I put it here? ♪
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No, here.
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- (vocalizing)
- Uh, Linda?
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Huh? Oh, sorry.
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Sorry, just excited, go ahead.
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(Janine chuckles)
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Hey, Constance.
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Hiya, Ham and Egger.
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You look beautifuller
than even last time.
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- Aw, no I don't.
- Here, I brought you something.
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- It's string.
- Yellow! My favorite.
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Nothing's too good for my best girl.
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- Okay, then, see you around.
- Oh, bye.
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- Damn.
- I know all sequels are good,
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but this is amazing.
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Oh, you're still watching this?
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I feel like I failed you.
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Says the guy who probably
never got Mom string.
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And his nipples are out right now.
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GENE: Father, Spa-turday
has officially started.
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Coming. Rocky rules,
Ham and Egger sucks.
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- Get out.
- Wrong.
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(soothing music playing)
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Aah! Sorry. I wasn't ready
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for the mask. It's alarming.
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Here's yours.
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Great. You and your mom were really, uh,
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excited about these things, right?
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That was a long time ago.
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I was a different boy then.
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Now I'm a man.
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Uh, okay. Here we go.
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- (grunting)
- Aah!
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- Careful.
- Sorry. Okay, all right.
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I like the music.
What is that... flutes?
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It's a Norwegian
waterfall and pan pipes.
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Oh, look. They already have
eye, nose and mouth holes.
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- Great. I have all of those.
- Yep.
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So, you want to vent about your week?
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- No thank you.
- You know, Gene, it's-it's good
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for your mom to do stuff for herself.
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Like, uh, for instance, this
women's business owners group.
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I know! Everything's fine!
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00:07:02,652 --> 00:07:04,505
Gene, I-I think it's just important...
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00:07:04,529 --> 00:07:06,788
Oh, wait, my mustache
is getting in the way.
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00:07:06,865 --> 00:07:08,819
Maybe I should try and
tear a mustache hole?
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00:07:08,843 --> 00:07:10,892
Oops, too much. Let
me just patch this up.
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00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:12,177
Uh, uh-oh.
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00:07:12,254 --> 00:07:14,566
Mom's mustache wouldn't
have been an issue, probably.
201
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:15,884
But her eyebrows are.
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Anyway, I was just saying
I think it's important
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00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:19,968
for your mom to get to do her own stuff.
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She's not just a mom, she's a person.
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00:07:22,569 --> 00:07:25,415
If she's not just a mom,
then why is her name Mom?
206
00:07:25,753 --> 00:07:27,526
Well, she's also Linda.
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00:07:27,551 --> 00:07:29,361
Sounds weird, but I believe you.
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And it's important for
me to do stuff like this.
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00:07:31,699 --> 00:07:33,228
I didn't know my face
could feel this fresh.
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(Gene grumbling)
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LOUISE: Look at Ham and Egger go.
212
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,663
That idiot Handsome Joe is gonna look
213
00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:40,851
more like What Happened to
Your Face Joe after this.
214
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,237
Do you think that's all real sweat,
215
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,021
or did they spray sweet,
sweet movie sweat on them
216
00:07:44,045 --> 00:07:45,292
to make them glisten like that?
217
00:07:45,317 --> 00:07:47,048
We should get really good at fighting.
218
00:07:47,072 --> 00:07:48,174
- We should?
- Yeah.
219
00:07:48,198 --> 00:07:49,526
It's our only ticket out of this dump.
220
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:51,393
I mean, it's modest, but it's ours.
221
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:52,753
And you never know
when we'll have to face
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00:07:52,778 --> 00:07:55,249
our own Handsome Joe
in a championship fight.
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00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:58,087
Huh. Good point. Glisteny Handsome Joe.
224
00:07:58,112 --> 00:07:59,685
- Yeah.
- You know, if you want,
225
00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:00,895
I could teach you a few things.
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00:08:00,919 --> 00:08:02,688
(laughs): What? You? (scoffs)
227
00:08:02,712 --> 00:08:05,064
You've never even been in a fight, Tina.
228
00:08:05,089 --> 00:08:08,016
Yeah, but remember that time
I dreamt that I was fighting
229
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,800
that inflatable tube man
from the car dealership?
230
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:12,549
- No.
- Well, Dad came in to check on me,
231
00:08:12,573 --> 00:08:14,346
and I accidentally
punched him in my sleep
232
00:08:14,371 --> 00:08:15,700
and he screamed and maybe cried a little
233
00:08:15,725 --> 00:08:17,057
even though he said he didn't.
234
00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,620
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
235
00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:20,190
So? Huh?
236
00:08:20,215 --> 00:08:21,261
Okay, you can teach me.
237
00:08:21,286 --> 00:08:22,450
- Yes!
- GENE: Ow!
238
00:08:22,474 --> 00:08:24,043
- BOB: Sorry.
- You put a lemon slice
239
00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:25,613
on my eye instead of a cucumber!
240
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:28,547
I got confused by all
the food in the bathroom.
241
00:08:28,572 --> 00:08:31,568
Lemons are for the water,
cucumbers are for the eyes.
242
00:08:31,592 --> 00:08:33,904
And salt and vinegar
chips are for the mouth.
243
00:08:33,928 --> 00:08:36,637
Hi, everyone. How was Spa-turday?
244
00:08:36,662 --> 00:08:38,732
- Compromised!
- How-how was the meeting?
245
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:40,471
Oh, it was amazing.
246
00:08:40,496 --> 00:08:42,768
Businesswomen supporting
other businesswomen.
247
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,656
Networking, sharing experiences.
248
00:08:45,681 --> 00:08:47,157
I feel so... (grunts)
249
00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,516
You know? (grunts) Do I look... (grunts)
250
00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:50,726
Do I look (grunts) to you, huh?
251
00:08:50,751 --> 00:08:52,737
Uh, yeah, you do, kind of.
252
00:08:52,762 --> 00:08:54,424
Well, I don't need
your approval, mister.
253
00:08:54,448 --> 00:08:55,783
Just kidding. I'll take it.
254
00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:57,577
Well, glad you enjoyed it, Mother.
255
00:08:57,601 --> 00:08:59,814
I did. I kind of feel like
doing one-armed pushups.
256
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,339
Well, Spa-turday was
Blah-turday without you.
257
00:09:02,364 --> 00:09:05,802
Hey, maybe I can... go to
next week's meeting with you?
258
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:08,512
Aw, Gene, that's sweet you
want to see what Mommy's doing,
259
00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:10,525
but it's for ladies only.
260
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,567
No fair. Women have it all.
261
00:09:13,495 --> 00:09:17,157
Aw, my poor sad little boy.
I hate seeing him like this.
262
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,001
I'm gonna go tell him
that I'm not gonna go
263
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,669
to the meetings anymore and
that women are... stupid.
264
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,435
Lin, no. Gene'll be okay.
265
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:25,844
Right. Right. Well,
then I'm gonna go pee.
266
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,698
A little came out when
I was thrusting before.
267
00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:29,830
Let's go home, huh? You did your best.
268
00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:31,330
Five... six...
269
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,726
seven...
270
00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:35,112
I haven't done my best yet.
271
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,213
(grunts)
272
00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:39,468
The music is weird. Is the music weird?
273
00:09:39,493 --> 00:09:41,329
- No talking.
- Shush.
274
00:09:41,354 --> 00:09:42,973
I want to be that good, Tina.
275
00:09:42,997 --> 00:09:44,498
You're gonna have to train me harder
276
00:09:44,522 --> 00:09:45,809
than you've ever trained anyone.
277
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:47,989
Including that first
training bra you had.
278
00:09:48,014 --> 00:09:49,614
(exhales) Okay.
279
00:09:50,487 --> 00:09:51,539
TINA: All right, kid.
280
00:09:51,563 --> 00:09:52,965
We've been training all week for this.
281
00:09:52,989 --> 00:09:55,470
Lot of jump rope, lot of
shadow boxing our shadows.
282
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,721
You ready to throw some punches?
283
00:09:56,746 --> 00:09:58,149
- Ready.
- Okay, I'll go first.
284
00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:00,502
Is that how it works? We take turns?
285
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,253
- I think so.
- Okay, bring it.
286
00:10:02,278 --> 00:10:04,312
Oh, boy. Here comes the thunder!
287
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,495
- Let's do it!
- Are you sure you want the full thunder?
288
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,812
- Yeah.
- Maybe I'll just start
289
00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:09,885
- with a little lightning.
- Don't hold back, T, come on.
290
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,313
Here I go!
291
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,797
(sighs) I don't want to hurt you.
292
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,966
Tina, we're wearing pillows. Bring it!
293
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,043
Stop it, you two. You're
gonna break something.
294
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:19,135
- I mean, not at this rate.
- Where's Gene?
295
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,002
I got to say goodbye
before I go to my meeting.
296
00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:22,856
Gene? Goodbye.
297
00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:24,692
(melancholy tune playing)
298
00:10:24,717 --> 00:10:27,346
Gene? I'm heading to the meeting, so...
299
00:10:27,371 --> 00:10:29,065
I just wanted to say bye.
300
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:31,983
And I love you. And
you're my precious angel.
301
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,415
- Uh-huh.
- Can Mama get a little hug?
302
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:38,409
Okay, fine, a 45 to
65-second hug, but that's it.
303
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,066
And I'm gonna smell you a little,
304
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:41,901
but just remember that I'm still angry.
305
00:10:41,925 --> 00:10:44,162
- (sniffs)
- Oh, Gene. You know what?
306
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,813
If you really want to come with me,
307
00:10:45,837 --> 00:10:47,356
- I guess that's okay.
- Yeah?
308
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,806
Yeah. I mean, it might
be boring for you, but...
309
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,483
Then I'll bring my
homework to do, quietly.
310
00:10:51,508 --> 00:10:53,171
I assume I have some.
I've never checked.
311
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,672
And you got to be a good little boy.
312
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,569
I'll be a regular Shirley Temple.
313
00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:58,975
Oh, you're doing that
with our pillows? Okay.
314
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,749
- Tina, you can do this.
- Whoa.
315
00:11:00,774 --> 00:11:02,303
That's-that's not how you punch.
316
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,413
All right, Gene's coming with
me to the meeting tonight.
317
00:11:04,438 --> 00:11:06,850
Just got to grab some
stuff. Uh, homework stuff.
318
00:11:07,069 --> 00:11:09,876
He's going with you? So no Spa-turday?
319
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:12,535
I mean, I could use a
little exfoliating. I think.
320
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:13,800
I mean, we all probably could.
321
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:15,999
Okay, time for a new trainer.
322
00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:18,345
Dad, you want to teach
me and Tina how to fight?
323
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:20,865
You know, since you used to
go to a boxing gym for a week?
324
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,130
- Really?
- Yeah. Turns out the only punch
325
00:11:23,155 --> 00:11:24,924
I'm good at is the Hawaiian kind.
326
00:11:24,949 --> 00:11:26,935
Actually, I'm not that
good at that, either.
327
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,160
I put too much water in it.
328
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,422
Uh, great. I'll definitely
show you some stuff.
329
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:33,292
Hook. Jab. Uppercut. Boom-boom.
330
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,819
Just kidding. Boom-boom's not real.
331
00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:36,320
- We know.
- This is gonna be fun.
332
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:37,964
- Uh, let me go change.
- I'm ready.
333
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,966
Okay, bye, my boxing babies.
334
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,772
- Come on, Gene.
- Right behind you, Mama.
335
00:11:41,797 --> 00:11:44,669
Have fun at the businesswomen's
meeting, I guess.
336
00:11:44,694 --> 00:11:46,736
- Why do you want to go?
- To learn.
337
00:11:46,813 --> 00:11:49,217
(whispers): I'm not losing mom
to the cutthroat business world.
338
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:50,977
What do you mean? It's only six weeks.
339
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,720
Yeah, but she'll get
all the tools she needs
340
00:11:52,744 --> 00:11:54,338
to climb the corporate
ladder and become president
341
00:11:54,362 --> 00:11:56,225
of all restaurants and have
to move to New York City.
342
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,583
- Or Fort Lauderdale.
- Okay. So what's your plan?
343
00:11:59,608 --> 00:12:01,512
I'm gonna show Mom what she's missing.
344
00:12:01,537 --> 00:12:03,346
After tonight, she'll
want to quit that group
345
00:12:03,371 --> 00:12:05,349
and Spa-turdays will be back on, baby.
346
00:12:05,373 --> 00:12:07,351
Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
347
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:09,926
I know. Great idea, right? Bye.
348
00:12:09,951 --> 00:12:11,436
I'm so smart,
I'm so smart, I'm so smart.
349
00:12:11,461 --> 00:12:12,991
Um, uh, bye.
350
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:17,108
Hi, everyone. I hope you don't mind,
351
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:18,358
my son Gene wanted to come and see
352
00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:20,673
- what this is all about.
- Hello.
353
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,366
- Hi. - Hello.
- Women only!
354
00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,866
Uh, Gene is just gonna
sit quietly and observe
355
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:27,319
while he does some
homework. Right, Gene?
356
00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:28,653
You won't even know I'm here.
357
00:12:28,678 --> 00:12:31,177
Unless I sneeze or fart or sneeze-fart,
358
00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:32,788
in which case I'll say "excuse me."
359
00:12:32,813 --> 00:12:34,711
Okay, let's jump in. Tonight we'll talk
360
00:12:34,736 --> 00:12:36,828
about how we can empower each other.
361
00:12:36,853 --> 00:12:39,483
Empowered Women Empowering Women.
362
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,528
Or E.W.E.W. for short.
363
00:12:41,788 --> 00:12:43,153
Or maybe "ew, ew"?
364
00:12:43,178 --> 00:12:44,264
Oh, no, not that.
365
00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:46,364
Well, last week empowered this lady.
366
00:12:46,389 --> 00:12:48,131
I applied what we talked about.
367
00:12:48,156 --> 00:12:51,635
All that "grow change
to change growth" crap.
368
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,489
You mean "you have to be open to change
369
00:12:53,514 --> 00:12:55,492
in order to grow and make change"?
370
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:57,692
That's what I said. I
made a lot of change,
371
00:12:57,717 --> 00:13:00,018
and we made a lot of change. Cha-ching.
372
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:02,197
And I grew a lot. As a person.
373
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,224
The sex has never been better.
374
00:13:04,249 --> 00:13:06,074
Oh, that's... very good.
375
00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:07,577
GENE: Sorry to
interrupt, but can someone
376
00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:08,866
point me to the bathroom?
377
00:13:08,891 --> 00:13:10,288
I have to do something
that rhymes with soup
378
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,061
and might have the same consistency.
379
00:13:12,086 --> 00:13:14,374
It's just down to the right.
380
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:16,418
Hmm.
381
00:13:16,944 --> 00:13:19,215
So, it's not exactly a side of beef,
382
00:13:19,239 --> 00:13:20,889
but it's, uh, beef chunks.
383
00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:24,094
And the bag's thick, so I
think it'll be good to punch.
384
00:13:24,119 --> 00:13:25,572
I mean, I'd probably break it,
385
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,506
- but you guys won't.
- Okay, big shot.
386
00:13:27,531 --> 00:13:30,006
Plus, beef is good
enough for Rocky, right?
387
00:13:30,031 --> 00:13:31,359
It's fine, if you have
388
00:13:31,384 --> 00:13:33,436
absolutely no giant spools of string.
389
00:13:33,461 --> 00:13:34,989
- We-we don't.
- You checked?
390
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:36,249
I don't need to check, Tina.
391
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,067
Come on, give it a go. Punch the chunks.
392
00:13:38,091 --> 00:13:39,905
Okay, so like this? (grunts)
393
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:42,755
Oh, my God, no. Are you
closing your thumb in your fist?
394
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,684
- Yeah.
- You can break your thumb that way.
395
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:47,319
- It did hurt a little.
- And you got to keep your wrist straight.
396
00:13:47,344 --> 00:13:49,261
How's this? (shouts)
397
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,022
(chuckles): No, no, that's not good.
398
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,842
Uh, you don't punch with both
hands at the same time, Louise.
399
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,499
But it's twice the punch, Dad. (shouts)
400
00:13:56,524 --> 00:13:58,616
- No.
- I got the look of the lion.
401
00:13:58,641 --> 00:14:00,411
(roaring)
402
00:14:00,436 --> 00:14:01,607
Oh, my God.
403
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,569
JANINE: So, yeah, I think
we're realizing that some of us
404
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,499
have a problem with being too nice.
405
00:14:06,524 --> 00:14:08,432
I have a huge freaking problem
406
00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:09,819
- with being too nice.
- (soothing music playing in distance)
407
00:14:09,844 --> 00:14:10,842
Wha-What is that?
408
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:13,249
Oh, boy. I'll, uh, I'll go check it out.
409
00:14:13,274 --> 00:14:14,920
You guys keep going. I'll be right back.
410
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:16,830
(music continues)
411
00:14:17,468 --> 00:14:18,313
Hmm.
412
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,328
What the... What's going on?
413
00:14:20,352 --> 00:14:23,817
Gene, are you trying to Say
Anything... me with spa music?
414
00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:25,342
Oh, thank God you finally got here.
415
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:27,803
I've been holding this thing
up for, like, 30 seconds.
416
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,744
Anyway, since you're here, how
about some scented moisturizer?
417
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,061
Gene, sweetie, I need to
go back to the meeting.
418
00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:36,795
But you seem so tense.
All those business issues.
419
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:39,436
And the eucalyptus is so soothing.
420
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,313
I mean, the eucalyptus is relaxing...
421
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,311
But no. No, I got to
go back to the meeting.
422
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,537
Ugh, I can't open it 'cause
of the stuff on my hands.
423
00:14:46,561 --> 00:14:48,561
- Gene, open the door.
- Beauty mud.
424
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,397
- No beauty mud.
- Yes beauty mud.
425
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,967
- It firms and tones.
- Stupid lotion.
426
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,584
Well, I guess you're
trapped with me here forever.
427
00:14:54,609 --> 00:14:56,845
Did I say forever? I meant
for that to sound more casual.
428
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:58,093
Gene!
429
00:14:58,209 --> 00:15:00,999
-Hah! Hah! Hah!
-Thumb out. Thumb out. Thumb out.
430
00:15:01,024 --> 00:15:02,959
Okay, okay, let's stop for a second.
431
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:06,577
I feel like both of you are not
listening to a word I'm saying.
432
00:15:06,602 --> 00:15:08,634
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We heard. One hand.
433
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:09,819
Whatever. I think we're ready to spar.
434
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:12,327
- No, no. What? Wait. No.
- Yeah.
435
00:15:12,352 --> 00:15:13,780
- Why not?
- Because you haven't
436
00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:15,608
learned any boxing.
You may have actually
437
00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:16,975
gotten worse at it.
438
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,905
- (pounding in distance)
- Oh, great. That's probably an
439
00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:20,514
intruder, and we don't
know how to fight.
440
00:15:20,539 --> 00:15:21,749
Puh. This is on you, Dad.
441
00:15:21,774 --> 00:15:23,694
I'm gonna give him the two-punch!
442
00:15:23,719 --> 00:15:25,525
Bob. It's me, Teddy.
443
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,350
I-I can see you. It's glass.
444
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:28,995
Blink twice if you're being robbed.
445
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,116
I was driving by, I saw your lights on.
446
00:15:31,141 --> 00:15:34,002
- Are you in danger?
- Don't worry, Teddy. Everything's fine.
447
00:15:34,027 --> 00:15:36,568
- It's not fine.
- Dad's scared to spar with us.
448
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:38,095
He's supposed to be
teaching us how to fight,
449
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,103
but all we're doing
is hitting beef chunks.
450
00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:41,978
Is "beef chunks" what
you're calling Gene now?
451
00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:43,666
- No. He's at his women's group.
- Got it.
452
00:15:43,691 --> 00:15:45,806
So, sparring. That sounds fun.
453
00:15:45,831 --> 00:15:47,597
Can I spar? We could
call it "Spar-turday."
454
00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:49,982
- Like Linda and Gene's thing.
- You can fight with us,
455
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:52,308
- but we're not calling it that.
- (Teddy groans)
456
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:53,436
GENE: This would go easier
457
00:15:53,461 --> 00:15:55,595
if you would just give in to the mud.
458
00:15:56,463 --> 00:15:57,580
- Ha!
- Damn it!
459
00:15:57,605 --> 00:15:58,572
You stay here, Gene.
460
00:15:58,597 --> 00:15:59,947
We'll talk about this later.
461
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:01,588
Ugh. I may as well leave this on.
462
00:16:01,613 --> 00:16:04,119
It feels like it's working.
I'm so mad right now.
463
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:07,376
Oh, you're mad? You're the
one that abandoned Spa-turday.
464
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,475
Our forefathers fought for this right.
465
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,828
Now's not a good time.
466
00:16:10,853 --> 00:16:12,267
We will talk later.
467
00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:14,532
Hi, everyone. I'm back. Sorry.
468
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,386
Oh, now's not a good time?
469
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,736
Well, when is a good time, Linda?
470
00:16:18,761 --> 00:16:21,984
- "Linda"?
- Yeah. You're a real person, apparently,
471
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:24,157
so if you're not Mom, you're Linda.
472
00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:27,034
And I like Mom a whole lot more
than I like Linda right now.
473
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:28,134
(gasps)
474
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:29,793
What's... on your face?
475
00:16:29,818 --> 00:16:30,962
- Beauty mud.
- Beauty mud.
476
00:16:30,987 --> 00:16:33,791
What is that mud made
of? It smells amazing.
477
00:16:33,816 --> 00:16:35,691
Kelp and magic.
478
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:40,923
So you like Mom better than
Linda right now, huh, Gene?
479
00:16:40,948 --> 00:16:42,927
Yes. Linda is a hardened businesswoman.
480
00:16:42,952 --> 00:16:45,271
Mom is a fun lady who
pays attention to me
481
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,810
and makes a hell of a DIY body scrub.
482
00:16:47,835 --> 00:16:49,591
I never should've let you come.
483
00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:51,403
I never should have let you come.
484
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,738
- What?
- I've been far too permissive with you,
485
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,280
and look where it's got us.
486
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:58,123
- In a way, this is my fault, too.
- Aah.
487
00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,096
Is this part of the meeting?
Like a sketch or something?
488
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,436
No.
489
00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:06,268
Okay, so remember: thumbs
out, wrists straight.
490
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,295
- And float like a boat.
- Float like a butterfly.
491
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,181
Right. Boats float. Butterflies fly.
492
00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:12,942
It's in the name, but whatever.
493
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,111
Okay, enough. Less gab, more jab.
494
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,042
(shouts)
495
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,396
Ow! Son of a...
496
00:17:17,421 --> 00:17:18,472
- See?
- Yeah, Louise.
497
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:19,663
Keep your wrist straight.
498
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:22,785
- (grunts) Ow! Aah. I'm okay, I think.
- Oh, my God.
499
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:23,951
Here, let me just show you.
500
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,478
I'm dancing, I'm jabbing.
501
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,248
- Jab. Ow! Jab. Ow!
- Cool.
502
00:17:27,273 --> 00:17:29,334
Did you hurt yourself,
too? The expert?
503
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,503
No. No, I'm not hurt.
I think it's just...
504
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,974
sympathy pain for you guys. (screeches)
505
00:17:33,999 --> 00:17:36,630
Admit it, Dad, you're
hurt. Worse than us.
506
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:38,109
Well, I've worked up an appetite.
507
00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:39,529
Should we all take a
break and get a burger?
508
00:17:39,561 --> 00:17:41,552
I know a great place. (chuckles)
509
00:17:41,577 --> 00:17:44,287
If Dad can even make a
burger with that bruised ego.
510
00:17:44,312 --> 00:17:46,405
I'm-I'm totally fine, Louise.
511
00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:49,232
(breathy, high-pitched):
Let's go make Teddy a burger.
512
00:17:49,257 --> 00:17:51,671
BOB (sighs): That-That's
not a pretty patty.
513
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,621
It's got a good personality.
514
00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:56,210
- Ah. No, it doesn't.
- Funny how it's all lumpy,
515
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,146
seeing how your wrist
is not messed up at all.
516
00:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,513
Okay, fine. I hurt myself.
517
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,307
Help me, Louise. Will
you cut the tomato?
518
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,993
Tina, will you grab me a plate?
519
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,467
How's that burger coming?
Perfectly round, I hope.
520
00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:08,637
Little worried about
what I'm hearing out here.
521
00:18:08,662 --> 00:18:09,689
Everything's under control.
522
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,766
- (groans)
- Ow.
523
00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:11,785
Oh, that hurts.
524
00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:13,409
Nope. That's not gonna work.
525
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:16,242
This is a disaster. I
never should have sparred.
526
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:18,554
- I wasn't ready.
- Wait. What are you doing?
527
00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:20,950
I don't know. Maybe dying.
528
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,623
- I always knew it would end this way.
- I'm gonna die, too.
529
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:26,445
(groans) I don't want to have
to drag your bodies out of here.
530
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:27,989
How are we doing? I can't see anyone.
531
00:18:28,014 --> 00:18:29,492
Wait a minute. We're not gonna die.
532
00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:31,471
- We got to get up off the mat.
- We do?
533
00:18:31,496 --> 00:18:33,496
Yeah, we do. Like Ham and Egger.
534
00:18:33,521 --> 00:18:35,613
Uh, okay. Here we go.
535
00:18:35,841 --> 00:18:36,841
(grunts)
536
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,082
(whimpers)
537
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:41,460
- (pained grunting)
- We can do this.
538
00:18:41,536 --> 00:18:43,014
Hey, I feel bad. Forget it, right?
539
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,033
You tried your best.
540
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,391
We haven't tried our best... yet!
541
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,536
Yes! Ham and Egger.
542
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,468
(groans): Still a bad movie.
543
00:18:49,493 --> 00:18:51,322
You're a bad movie.
Let's finish the job.
544
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,630
♪ Look of the lion ♪
545
00:18:53,655 --> 00:18:55,067
♪ Starin' 'em down ♪
546
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,046
♪ Look of the lion... ♪
547
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:58,548
(distorted): Lay him out!
548
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,904
(distorted): Do it!
549
00:18:59,929 --> 00:19:01,521
(song fades)
550
00:19:01,546 --> 00:19:03,616
- We did it!
- Yeah, we did.
551
00:19:03,641 --> 00:19:05,578
Here you go, Teddy. We did it.
552
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,694
That'll do, pig.
553
00:19:06,719 --> 00:19:08,332
Sorry, that's from a different movie.
554
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,542
- Hmm. It's a little rare, Bob.
- ALL: What?!
555
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,560
Nothing. No. This is good.
556
00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:15,099
LINDA: Gene, we can't keep
talking about this.
557
00:19:15,124 --> 00:19:17,919
This is a local businesswomen's
group, not our bathtub.
558
00:19:17,944 --> 00:19:20,402
Our bathtub isn't a place,
it's a state of mind.
559
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:23,122
Look, Gene, I love all
the stuff we do together,
560
00:19:23,147 --> 00:19:24,724
pretty much every day of the week.
561
00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:26,318
Same here. Let's keep doing
562
00:19:26,343 --> 00:19:27,678
those things together all the time.
563
00:19:27,703 --> 00:19:30,568
Honey, listen, being a mom is amazing.
564
00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:32,657
And being your mom is even more amazing.
565
00:19:32,681 --> 00:19:34,824
And I'll tell you
something, I felt guilty
566
00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:36,711
about going to these meetings at first.
567
00:19:36,736 --> 00:19:38,921
I thought I needed
permission to do this,
568
00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:41,809
but really, I just needed
to give myself permission.
569
00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:43,616
But I love you so much, Mom.
570
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,169
Even though I'm upset
With you right now,
571
00:19:45,194 --> 00:19:47,623
I still want you to rub my
tummy and play with my hair.
572
00:19:47,648 --> 00:19:50,632
I love you, too, Gene, more
than you could even know...
573
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:52,210
Not until you have your own kids.
574
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:55,573
And also, I need a little time
for myself once in a while.
575
00:19:55,598 --> 00:19:58,065
- And that's okay.
- So what do you want me to do?
576
00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,827
Just let you do something for yourself,
577
00:19:59,851 --> 00:20:02,060
and I don't get to have you
every minute of every day
578
00:20:02,085 --> 00:20:04,562
- whenever I want?
- Oof. Cling-on alert.
579
00:20:04,587 --> 00:20:07,099
Okay, this does sound like it sounded.
580
00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:09,177
Oh, maybe I should just do th...
581
00:20:09,202 --> 00:20:10,951
that thing the group was talking about.
582
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:13,488
What, take advantage of
the tax incentives offered
583
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,927
to women-owned businesses?
584
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:17,419
No, earlier tonight when
someone said something
585
00:20:17,444 --> 00:20:19,524
about having to change in order to grow.
586
00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:20,771
Me. That was me.
587
00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:23,115
I mean, it was me. I had to correct you.
588
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,552
I don't like change, but
I want you to be happy,
589
00:20:25,577 --> 00:20:27,002
and I do want to grow.
590
00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:29,995
I mean, not that fast, but
little bits here and there.
591
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,326
And by the time I go to
college or deejay college,
592
00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:33,927
I'll only need to see
you five times a week.
593
00:20:33,952 --> 00:20:36,003
Aw. Come here, sweetie.
594
00:20:36,099 --> 00:20:38,521
You'll always be my
special little Genie Beanie.
595
00:20:38,546 --> 00:20:40,545
- I'm sorry, Mom.
- Look at us.
596
00:20:40,582 --> 00:20:42,202
(chuckles): We're
getting mud everywhere.
597
00:20:42,226 --> 00:20:45,187
- Should we go home?
- No, no, finish the meeting.
598
00:20:45,212 --> 00:20:47,040
This time I promise I'll stay quiet.
599
00:20:47,064 --> 00:20:48,469
Thank you, Gene.
600
00:20:48,494 --> 00:20:50,682
Oh, well, that was inspiring.
601
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,626
I got goose bumps. Did anyone else?
602
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:54,412
I have shingles. Does that count?
603
00:20:54,437 --> 00:20:56,037
LINDA: All right!
604
00:20:56,062 --> 00:20:58,959
♪ Businesswomen, look at us go ♪
605
00:20:58,984 --> 00:21:02,194
♪ Doing all the business
from our head to our toes ♪
606
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,896
♪ I feel so empowered,
I feel ten out of ten ♪
607
00:21:04,921 --> 00:21:06,774
♪ 'Cause I'm talking
lots of business ♪
608
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,058
♪ With these businesswomen ♪
609
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:11,588
♪ Where should I put my name tag ♪
610
00:21:11,613 --> 00:21:13,163
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
611
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,924
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
612
00:21:14,949 --> 00:21:16,657
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
613
00:21:16,682 --> 00:21:18,377
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
614
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,901
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
615
00:21:19,926 --> 00:21:21,570
♪ Should I put it here, no ♪
616
00:21:21,595 --> 00:21:22,891
♪ Should I put it here ♪
617
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,508
♪ No, should I put it here ♪
618
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,079
♪ No, should I put it here ♪
619
00:21:26,103 --> 00:21:28,468
♪ No, should I put it here? ♪
620
00:21:28,493 --> 00:21:32,117
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --