1 00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:09,059 The ship is totally repaired! 2 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:10,811 We can finally leave this shithole planet 3 00:00:10,835 --> 00:00:12,609 and find a good one that Pupa can terraform. 4 00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:14,148 Then we can grow more Shlorpians 5 00:00:14,172 --> 00:00:16,650 from the seeds we have stored in the cryopods. 6 00:00:16,674 --> 00:00:19,158 So long, Earth suckers. Enjoy the melting ice caps. 7 00:00:19,182 --> 00:00:20,863 I hope the combustion engine was worth it. 8 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:24,033 - Goodbye, oxygen-rich atmosphere. Goodbye, puppies. 9 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:26,827 Goodbye, Maroon 5! 10 00:00:26,851 --> 00:00:30,376 I'm glad we're finally going to a planet that doesn't have stupid rules, 11 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,625 like saying "excuse me" after you fart. 12 00:00:32,649 --> 00:00:34,168 You're supposed to say it before you fart. 13 00:00:34,192 --> 00:00:35,379 This fucking sucks! 14 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,426 If I was team leader, we'd be getting butter-drunk at Harry P-Land 15 00:00:38,450 --> 00:00:39,715 and loading up on wands. 16 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,801 - Well, tough titties, you're not. Everyone, strap in. 17 00:00:41,825 --> 00:00:43,220 I'm going to activate the launch. 18 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,600 Jesse! What... what the hell is that? 19 00:00:44,624 --> 00:00:46,430 M&Ms with the olives inside. 20 00:00:46,454 --> 00:00:48,021 They're oily and sour. - Give me that! 21 00:00:48,045 --> 00:00:49,475 Every ounce of weight matters! 22 00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:51,060 Something this small could set us off course 23 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,649 and straight into the sun. 24 00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:54,106 We're back to equilibrium. 25 00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:55,338 Launching now. 26 00:00:57,632 --> 00:00:59,092 It's working! Wait. 27 00:01:00,468 --> 00:01:01,695 Geek Squad, Michael speaking. 28 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:04,240 - This is Korvo the alien. I'm calling to say fuck you, Michael. 29 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,249 You've been working on my Lenovo for too many weeks now, 30 00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:07,952 and you can just shove it up your ass, Michael. 31 00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:09,537 The Judge said you're weren't supposed to call here anymore. 32 00:01:09,561 --> 00:01:11,288 Fuck you and fuck your whole squad, 33 00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:12,414 and I fucked your mom. 34 00:01:12,438 --> 00:01:13,398 Whoa! Hey... 35 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,382 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 36 00:01:30,835 --> 00:01:32,101 No, the balance was off. 37 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,902 Did someone accidentally have a penny in their pocket 38 00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:35,396 or a contact lens or a feather? 39 00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:37,690 I might have hidden some stuff on the ship. 40 00:01:37,714 --> 00:01:39,384 Did it weigh more than a gram? 41 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,198 What the hell? Bags of sand, bowling balls, 42 00:01:43,222 --> 00:01:46,740 Congo pinball machine, a lifetime supply of Silly Putty eggs? 43 00:01:46,764 --> 00:01:50,786 You needed to bring the entire series run of Cops on DVD and VHS! 44 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,917 I didn't know what kind of player the hotel would have. 45 00:01:52,941 --> 00:01:56,041 - There is no hotel! Terry, you idiot! It's... it's a empty planet. 46 00:01:56,065 --> 00:01:57,751 This puts us right back to where we were a year ago. 47 00:01:57,775 --> 00:02:00,671 Oh my God, make a bigger deal about it, ya poopy! 48 00:02:00,695 --> 00:02:02,432 Yay! We're still trapped on Earth! 49 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,867 Excuse me. 50 00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:08,220 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 51 00:02:08,244 --> 00:02:10,294 Until the asteroid hit. 52 00:02:11,122 --> 00:02:13,478 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 53 00:02:13,502 --> 00:02:15,269 and escaped into, uh, the space, 54 00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:17,963 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 55 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:21,567 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 56 00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:23,277 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 57 00:02:23,301 --> 00:02:25,029 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 58 00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:27,490 This is... this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 59 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,910 This is ridiculous. 60 00:02:28,934 --> 00:02:30,868 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 61 00:02:30,892 --> 00:02:32,620 People are stupid. They're always thirsty. 62 00:02:32,644 --> 00:02:34,291 But they don't drink their own piss, I don't get it. 63 00:02:34,315 --> 00:02:36,062 Just drink your own piss. 64 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,259 Oh yeah, they're making Succession cereal with all the shapes: 65 00:02:47,283 --> 00:02:50,054 Romans, Logans, and Purple Shivs! 66 00:02:50,078 --> 00:02:51,475 The autopilot's completely destroyed. 67 00:02:51,499 --> 00:02:53,849 We're going to have to re-pilot the whole thing. 68 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,018 What is the distress detector doing in the freezer? 69 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,687 - Oh, it wouldn't stop beeping. It was driving me nuts. 70 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,939 It only beeps when it receives a Shlorpian distress call! 71 00:02:59,963 --> 00:03:01,488 That means there's aliens from the home world 72 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:02,650 somewhere in this quadrant! 73 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:03,781 How long has this been beeping? 74 00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:05,986 A year? Or a year and a half, maybe? 75 00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:08,050 Damn it, Terry! All right, come on, we have to help them! 76 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,867 They're probably on an M-class planet somewhere in the Gamma sector. 77 00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,118 What the hell, they're on Earth! 78 00:03:13,142 --> 00:03:16,352 Looks like the Solar Opposites are going to London! 79 00:03:17,438 --> 00:03:19,625 I can't believe we get to use the hover platform. 80 00:03:19,649 --> 00:03:21,046 I thought that was a one-time thing. 81 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,879 The Solar Opposites are hovering to London! 82 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,339 - Would you stop saying that. W-what does that even mean? 83 00:03:25,363 --> 00:03:27,180 Well, I just think we should be called "The Solar Opposites." 84 00:03:27,204 --> 00:03:28,425 No, that's stupid. 85 00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:29,949 Wait, where's Yumyulack and the Pupa? 86 00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,513 Damn it! How are we still so bad at this? 87 00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:34,098 Watching the Pupa is your whole job, Terry. 88 00:03:34,122 --> 00:03:36,851 Don't worry, I'm sure Yumyulack's keeping him real safe. 89 00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:37,898 What could go wrong? 90 00:03:37,922 --> 00:03:40,729 I guess as long as he doesn't let the Pupa watch Robocop again, 91 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:41,939 it'll... it'll be fine. 92 00:03:41,963 --> 00:03:43,490 Dead or alive, you're coming with me! 93 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,256 Suck my shitty tits, Robocop! 94 00:03:53,278 --> 00:03:56,167 Jaeden, Aaden, Braden. Still as cool as last year, I see. 95 00:03:56,191 --> 00:03:58,205 We are, but our internal politics have shifted. 96 00:03:58,229 --> 00:04:00,124 This year, Jaeden is our leader. I was demoted. 97 00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:01,458 You know, my adults are out of town. 98 00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,878 If you guys want to hang at my place, we could drink too much 99 00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:06,130 and maybe hurt our chances of living past 65. 100 00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:08,971 A witch said I'm gonna die at 25 anyway, so I guess I'm down. 101 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:11,051 Silence. Your alpha speaks. 102 00:04:11,075 --> 00:04:13,559 Yumyulack, it'd be cool to throw a sleepover party. 103 00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:15,681 I decree that all cool kids will attend. 104 00:04:15,705 --> 00:04:17,062 But I thought you hated me? 105 00:04:17,086 --> 00:04:19,268 Dunking on you was a policy of the Aaden era. 106 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,978 Since then, we all went to Christian summer camp 107 00:04:21,002 --> 00:04:22,730 and realized it's cool to be inclusive. 108 00:04:22,754 --> 00:04:24,778 It was Christian Slater's volleyball camp. 109 00:04:24,802 --> 00:04:26,917 This'll be the coolest party of the year! 110 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:36,368 The Solar Opposites have made it to London! 111 00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:37,539 All right, shut up, follow me. 112 00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:40,166 Oh, so now he's calling us "the Solar Opposites"? 113 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:42,082 Oh, I cannot wait to meet these new aliens. 114 00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:43,751 Do you think they've been studying hydron levels 115 00:04:43,775 --> 00:04:45,132 or stratospheric particulates? 116 00:04:45,156 --> 00:04:47,755 Wow, both sound so cool, it's hard to pick. Hopefully both? 117 00:04:47,779 --> 00:04:49,399 Oh my god, that would be amazing. 118 00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:56,321 Hmm. That's odd. 119 00:04:56,621 --> 00:04:59,461 Apparently, they live in the sewer for some reason. 120 00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:05,003 Oh! 121 00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:08,837 Damn, look at that ship. It's... nice. 122 00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:12,222 Hello? Is anyone here in distress? 123 00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:15,099 What are you doing? Get in here! 124 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,958 Uh, we were following a distress call? 125 00:05:17,982 --> 00:05:19,870 Doesn't seem like you're in that much distress. 126 00:05:19,894 --> 00:05:23,249 I am Kabronius, team leader of this ship. 127 00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:25,501 This is Zelvod, my co-team leader, 128 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,128 and our replicants Tivo and Damasculon. 129 00:05:28,152 --> 00:05:29,717 Are you crazy? Where are your masks? 130 00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:32,466 - I didn't know we needed masks. I've been breathing air for over a year! 131 00:05:32,490 --> 00:05:34,552 No, 132 00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:37,263 the face masks are so you can hide from the Terrans! 133 00:05:37,287 --> 00:05:39,223 We use these to walk amongst the Terrans 134 00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:41,308 so they don't capture and dissect us. 135 00:05:41,332 --> 00:05:43,310 Where we live in America, we don't wear masks. 136 00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:44,979 We're noticeable almost all of the time. 137 00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,900 Yeah, our ship sticks out of the top of our house, 138 00:05:46,924 --> 00:05:50,027 and one time we covered the whole town in ice lava. 139 00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:51,277 So, they know us. 140 00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:54,488 B-b-but, you know, we also spend a lot of time hiding from Terrans 141 00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:55,489 as well. - No, we don't. 142 00:05:55,513 --> 00:05:57,580 Aren't you scared that the government will kidnap you? 143 00:05:57,604 --> 00:06:00,411 Yes, all the time, we have to be very careful around Terrans. 144 00:06:00,435 --> 00:06:02,541 They're the aliens, a-a-am I right? 145 00:06:02,565 --> 00:06:05,168 - I never thought of it like that. They really are. 146 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,087 Oh, oh, can we show them the neutron array? 147 00:06:07,111 --> 00:06:08,752 Please? - Okay, okay. 148 00:06:08,776 --> 00:06:11,213 It is very nice. We have a very nice neutron array. 149 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,464 Who calls it "terra"? 150 00:06:12,488 --> 00:06:14,698 Yeah, these dorks are real Korvos. 151 00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:18,971 And of course, the end of any good ship tour, 152 00:06:18,995 --> 00:06:21,056 the havacord meniscus. 153 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,266 Is this dual sided? 154 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:25,811 It is! This guy knows his stuff. 155 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,360 Ugh, I wish I had a dual meniscus, 156 00:06:27,384 --> 00:06:28,647 ours only emits from the left. 157 00:06:28,671 --> 00:06:30,357 Ah, so great. Hey, guys. 158 00:06:30,381 --> 00:06:33,197 Do you wanna go eat tikka masala and see some castles? 159 00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,737 Maybe, uh, Ramsay some Gordons? 160 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,158 - Ooh yes! Let's go meet Pippa. Nobody gets her. 161 00:06:37,182 --> 00:06:39,909 Oh, no, no, no. We survive by creeping out at night 162 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,243 to find food in dumpsters. 163 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,746 If we get spotted, we erase people's minds with a memory zapper. 164 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,498 Eventually, we might infiltrate the government 165 00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:46,959 and try brainwashing some people. 166 00:06:46,983 --> 00:06:49,941 Wow, then you could go work in the government. 167 00:06:50,401 --> 00:06:52,216 This ship is so much nicer than ours, 168 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,798 not to mention our house is cluttered with toys and magazines. 169 00:06:54,822 --> 00:06:57,929 Oh, we only allow Shlorpian items to stay on the ship, 170 00:06:57,953 --> 00:06:59,261 it reminds us of home. 171 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,375 - You hear that, Terry? - "You hear that Terry?" Shut up, bitch. 172 00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:04,269 We were about to start our hourly prayers. Care to join? 173 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,101 Eh, we only pray on Easter 174 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,730 or when we think we're about to die. 175 00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:09,319 And even then, we don't really mean it. 176 00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:11,398 I call dibs on the first three hundred psalms! 177 00:07:11,422 --> 00:07:12,212 No fair! 178 00:07:13,216 --> 00:07:16,570 It is so good to know that we aren't alone in this dangerous world. 179 00:07:16,594 --> 00:07:19,118 Look, if you ever need a Shlorpian place to stay, 180 00:07:19,142 --> 00:07:20,199 our hatch is open. 181 00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:23,248 We have tons of room and all the eel trash you can eat. 182 00:07:23,272 --> 00:07:25,165 Thank you. And may I just say... 183 00:07:25,189 --> 00:07:27,540 Ugh, can we please go already? 184 00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:29,631 Sorry. I just wanted to thank you for being... 185 00:07:29,655 --> 00:07:31,043 Korvo, I'm bored! 186 00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:32,586 Bye! Have fun! 187 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:36,780 Looks like the Solar Opposites are going to America! 188 00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:39,385 Next time we're flying! - No! I like the platform! 189 00:07:39,409 --> 00:07:40,489 Ahh! 190 00:07:41,537 --> 00:07:44,853 Can you believe those weirdo British aliens pray every hour? 191 00:07:44,877 --> 00:07:47,186 Next time, let's just ignore the distress signal. 192 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:50,397 Bunch of Jar Jar dinks. Meesa gonna hide from Terrans! 193 00:07:50,421 --> 00:07:52,733 Those Shlorpians were exactly the way we are supposed to be. 194 00:07:52,757 --> 00:07:55,194 Sneaking out at night to dumpster dive for trash food? 195 00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:56,532 Meesa gonna eat trash! 196 00:07:56,556 --> 00:07:58,864 - They're basic. We're extra, they're basic. 197 00:07:58,888 --> 00:07:59,495 They were not! 198 00:07:59,519 --> 00:08:02,243 I'm honestly surprised they didn't have a flying saucer. 199 00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:05,037 They were like a bunch of ALFs: Alone Loser Fucks. 200 00:08:05,061 --> 00:08:06,789 They honor the proud traditions of the home world 201 00:08:06,813 --> 00:08:08,249 and from now on, so do we. 202 00:08:08,273 --> 00:08:10,420 We're all meditating around the obsidian candle tonight 203 00:08:10,444 --> 00:08:11,460 as a family. 204 00:08:11,484 --> 00:08:13,212 - Yeah, right, pass. - Hard pass. 205 00:08:13,236 --> 00:08:15,381 This is important! It's who we are! It's our heritage. 206 00:08:15,405 --> 00:08:16,715 You've gone just as native as we have. 207 00:08:16,739 --> 00:08:19,385 Yeah, you like Pizza Hut stuffed crust as much as we do. 208 00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:21,266 You even bought a gym membership and you never went. 209 00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,141 You're sort of like a fake alien, you know. 210 00:08:23,165 --> 00:08:24,702 You two are fake aliens! 211 00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:28,727 Ugh, what are you doing? 212 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,354 I'm moving to ye olde London town 213 00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:32,468 to live with the aliens that appreciate me! 214 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:35,321 That guy really turns on a dime, doesn't he? 215 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:36,569 He's tough to manage. 216 00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:40,239 We're so happy you've decided to be a part of our mission, Korvo. 217 00:08:40,263 --> 00:08:44,660 You seem like a Shlorpian lasered from the same zarb as us. 218 00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:47,540 Oh, it's nice to be around a team that's preserved our culture 219 00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:49,582 and keeps our culture preserved, you know. 220 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:52,921 Just think of this ship as a comforting piece of the home world. 221 00:08:52,945 --> 00:08:56,338 Now let's circle around the grangnar and hit ourselves with ropes. 222 00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:58,638 That sounds wonderful. 223 00:09:02,493 --> 00:09:03,804 Oh, it hurts so good. 224 00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:04,893 Are you sure... Ow! 225 00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:07,016 - Your old teammates are okay with you... - Ow! 226 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,437 - Joining us? - Ow! 227 00:09:08,461 --> 00:09:10,352 Something tells me... Ow- 228 00:09:10,376 --> 00:09:12,482 - they're already regretting being dicks to me. 229 00:09:12,506 --> 00:09:15,316 I'm never taking off my Poe Dameron jammies ever again! 230 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,907 Hey, oh, what are you going to do now that Korvo's dead, I mean gone? 231 00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:20,821 I adopted a high-maintenance elderly dog! 232 00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,410 We're going to have to spend a lot of time cleaning out her ears, 233 00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:25,534 putting lotion in her butt, squeezing the anals, 234 00:09:25,558 --> 00:09:28,018 all the responsibility I've been begging for! 235 00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:31,415 You wanna play with the gold machine? 236 00:09:31,439 --> 00:09:33,399 Korvo would hate that, let's do it! 237 00:09:34,651 --> 00:09:36,361 Ah! 238 00:09:40,865 --> 00:09:41,905 Whee! 239 00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:45,304 Korvo would be so mad that I'm rolling in all this gold! 240 00:09:45,328 --> 00:09:48,894 I just canceled the family cell plan and switched us over to Boost Mobile! 241 00:09:48,918 --> 00:09:50,520 It comes with Crackle Plus! 242 00:09:50,544 --> 00:09:53,520 They got all of Adam Sandler's friends' movies but none of his. 243 00:09:53,544 --> 00:09:55,522 What the hell? I thought you guys were in London. 244 00:09:55,546 --> 00:09:58,025 Korvo left the family, and I got a basset hound. 245 00:09:58,049 --> 00:09:58,946 I don't give a shit! 246 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:01,737 A bunch of cool kids are coming over for a sleepover this weekend, 247 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:03,072 so can you please just be chill? 248 00:10:03,096 --> 00:10:06,016 Hey, maybe they'll want to have a gold fight! 249 00:10:06,849 --> 00:10:09,519 - Guys, don't embarrass me! No giving out gold! 250 00:10:14,983 --> 00:10:18,003 This is amazing! We're gonna be eating trash for a week! 251 00:10:18,027 --> 00:10:20,051 I didn't see any Terran soldiers, 252 00:10:20,075 --> 00:10:21,548 I think we avoided detection. 253 00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:25,112 Uh-uh-uh, just a thought, but maybe they aren't hunting you? 254 00:10:25,994 --> 00:10:28,514 Yeah, right, that sounds like human lover talk. 255 00:10:28,538 --> 00:10:31,895 Hey, Korvo, why don't you recite the holy number before we dig in? 256 00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:34,296 Oh, it's an honor! 257 00:10:34,836 --> 00:10:37,439 Eight, seven, five. 258 00:10:37,463 --> 00:10:41,819 Z-zero... uh... it's zero and then... f-four? 259 00:10:41,843 --> 00:10:44,488 No, three. I'm sorry, I-I haven't said the holy number for a while. 260 00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:45,990 What, you don't say it at home? 261 00:10:46,014 --> 00:10:47,910 - Of course I do, it's just... L-let me think. 262 00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:49,034 Eight, seven, four... 263 00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:50,995 No, five, seven... 264 00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:53,247 - You sound like a sproutling! - "Fuh-fuh-fuh four?" 265 00:10:53,271 --> 00:10:54,582 It's a non-repeating number. 266 00:10:54,606 --> 00:10:56,166 Oh, you really have gone native. 267 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:59,843 - Oh no. Am I the "Terry" of this team? No, that's impossible. 268 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:03,299 Are you narrating to yourself like you're the star of a TV show? 269 00:11:03,323 --> 00:11:05,243 Oh god, I am the Terry! 270 00:11:07,744 --> 00:11:08,929 Jesse! Where do we keep money? 271 00:11:08,953 --> 00:11:11,348 We have a huge Postmates bill from ordering all those ketchup packets. 272 00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:12,850 Can't we just use the gold machine? 273 00:11:12,874 --> 00:11:14,521 Whoa, whoa, what's, what's with you, are you poisoned? 274 00:11:14,545 --> 00:11:17,938 Ugh, the dog is so high maintenance, I didn't sleep at all. 275 00:11:17,962 --> 00:11:18,564 Ahh! 276 00:11:18,588 --> 00:11:20,608 Noooo! 277 00:11:20,632 --> 00:11:22,443 It thinks I'm a toy. 278 00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:23,611 But I'm not. 279 00:11:23,635 --> 00:11:25,571 I just look like one! 280 00:11:25,595 --> 00:11:27,615 Aw, man, the whole thing just turned to gold! 281 00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:29,206 How am I supposed to make gold now? 282 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,284 Stupid piece of crap. 283 00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,202 Hey! This is Andrew from Postmates! 284 00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:33,543 You owe me fifty thousand dollars! 285 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,581 When did they get so intense about billing? 286 00:11:35,605 --> 00:11:37,355 Turns out it's actually pretty hard to get your side hustle on. 287 00:11:38,608 --> 00:11:41,633 Ugh, without Korvo here to fix our gold machine or fight our creditors, 288 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,403 I guess I gotta find a job. 289 00:11:45,573 --> 00:11:47,927 The customer comes in, they pick their cookie, 290 00:11:47,951 --> 00:11:50,054 they pick their ookie, you weigh it, then you charge ‘em. 291 00:11:50,078 --> 00:11:51,145 Yeah, when do I get paid? 292 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,934 End of the month, but, but you get free ookie after closing 293 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,458 'cause it gets crusty if we don't use it. 294 00:11:57,669 --> 00:12:00,009 - Hey, stop limping the biscuits! You have to pay for that! 295 00:12:01,631 --> 00:12:04,109 K-Kabronius, c-can I talk to you for a second? 296 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:05,861 Well, of course, Korvo, what's up? 297 00:12:05,885 --> 00:12:08,700 I-I-I want this team to accept me as a dedicated Shlorpian. 298 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,408 Is there any role I can fill? D-d-do you need a ship repair guy? 299 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:14,662 What we need is a Pupa specialist. 300 00:12:14,686 --> 00:12:17,963 - Oh. Where's your Pupa? I-I-I could try that. I-I could do that. 301 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,708 We don't have one. 302 00:12:19,732 --> 00:12:20,793 W-what happened to it? 303 00:12:20,817 --> 00:12:22,586 We never had one to begin with. 304 00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:24,380 We left before they were fully designed. 305 00:12:24,404 --> 00:12:25,464 Rich people don't wait for anything. 306 00:12:25,488 --> 00:12:27,925 You weren't assigned a Pupa when you escaped the home world? 307 00:12:27,949 --> 00:12:30,223 No, it went a little differently for us. 308 00:12:30,247 --> 00:12:32,429 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 309 00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:35,182 Some Shlorpians were workers, bred for duty and servitude. 310 00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:36,143 What? We were? 311 00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:38,232 Others were an unseen ruling class 312 00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:40,229 of wealthy leisure addicts. 313 00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:42,856 Us rich aliens were given a heads-up about the asteroid 314 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,657 about a month before it hit. 315 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:48,487 We bought expensive ships and left way, way, way in advance. 316 00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:50,781 We landed on an already populated planet 317 00:12:50,805 --> 00:12:54,243 and have been waiting for one of the Pupa crews to terraform it 318 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:56,996 so we can get back to being rich. 319 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:59,456 I've never heard of rich, non-working Shlorpians. 320 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,666 That's why it worked so great. 321 00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:03,383 If you don't have a Pupa, then why do you need a specialist? 322 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:04,712 We need a Pupa. 323 00:13:04,736 --> 00:13:08,051 Terry's clearly gone native, he can't be a good guardian. 324 00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,926 I mean, wouldn't the Pupa be happier with true Shlorpians, 325 00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:13,137 terraforming a fresh planet? 326 00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:14,138 It does sound better. 327 00:13:14,162 --> 00:13:16,473 We want you to rescue your Pupa, 328 00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:19,184 bring it to us, so we can have a new life. 329 00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:21,812 A new Shlorpian life. 330 00:13:21,836 --> 00:13:24,481 - I-I'll do it. First, we must Pupa-proof the ship. 331 00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:26,025 He likes to stick his nub in sockets. 332 00:13:26,049 --> 00:13:27,599 He will eat anything that's blue. 333 00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:30,241 Man, I hate working at Ookie Cookie. 334 00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:32,990 It is way more demeaning than the name implies. 335 00:13:33,014 --> 00:13:35,117 And these Poe Dameron jammies are starting to stink. 336 00:13:35,141 --> 00:13:36,660 I think the basset hound hates me. 337 00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:39,914 It makes me wear this collar and keeps burying me in the backyard. 338 00:13:39,938 --> 00:13:40,978 That's it! 339 00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:43,292 Okay, look. If we dress and act like Korvo, 340 00:13:43,316 --> 00:13:45,173 maybe we'll be better at taking care of ourselves. 341 00:13:45,197 --> 00:13:47,546 So we have to repair the ship and complain a lot? 342 00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:49,006 Why did you say "that's it"? 343 00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,716 Oh, it's just always what I say when I think of something. 344 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,290 Let's get to work. 345 00:13:54,786 --> 00:13:56,263 Okay, what would Korvo say? 346 00:13:56,287 --> 00:13:58,311 "Terry! Stop sucking on cereal and having fun!" 347 00:13:58,335 --> 00:14:00,434 'No way, you're not my dad." "Do what I fuckin' say!" 348 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,228 "I'll be in my room!" - I hate this. 349 00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:03,979 There you go, now you're sounding like Korvo. 350 00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:05,981 All my cool friends are three hours late. 351 00:14:06,005 --> 00:14:07,861 I think I gave them the wrong address! 352 00:14:07,885 --> 00:14:10,712 I'm taking the Yeet Detector and going out to find them. 353 00:14:11,511 --> 00:14:13,739 Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. 354 00:14:13,763 --> 00:14:15,491 Terry hates dealing with the Pupa anyway. 355 00:14:15,515 --> 00:14:16,845 He's going to be so happy. 356 00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,953 Hmm? 357 00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:20,829 Terry? W-why did I have to BoostTime you? 358 00:14:20,853 --> 00:14:22,331 Did you sign up with Boost Mobile? 359 00:14:22,355 --> 00:14:24,333 Yes, it's just one of many mistakes we've made since you left! 360 00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:26,835 - Korvo, we messed up. We really need you and miss you, 361 00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:28,715 and I'm afraid I'm going to get eaten by a dog. 362 00:14:28,739 --> 00:14:30,756 What dog? I-I told you no dogs in the house 363 00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:32,885 until I figure out how to make them see me as the alpha! 364 00:14:32,909 --> 00:14:34,472 Are you guys wearing ceremonial garb? 365 00:14:34,496 --> 00:14:36,389 - Please come home. You were right. You were right! 366 00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:38,347 We'll be better, Korvo! We miss you! 367 00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:39,640 You really miss me? 368 00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:41,309 And if I came home, you wouldn't shame me 369 00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:43,185 for not knowing the sacred non-repeating number? 370 00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:45,233 No. What the fuck are you talking about? 371 00:14:45,257 --> 00:14:46,313 No, we need your help. 372 00:14:46,337 --> 00:14:48,402 We're pieces of shit without you! 373 00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:50,442 Wow. Admitting you're wrong, begging me to help, 374 00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:52,945 calling yourselves pieces of shit, this is what I've always wanted! 375 00:14:52,969 --> 00:14:54,889 I'll be home soon, stay miserable! 376 00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:57,185 Yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet... 377 00:14:58,141 --> 00:15:01,662 Jaeden! You guys are accidentally partying at the wrong house! 378 00:15:01,686 --> 00:15:03,539 Aw, man. He found us. 379 00:15:03,563 --> 00:15:06,166 Nobody wants to go to a sleepover with an ugly blue alien 380 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:07,464 that smells like a penis. 381 00:15:07,488 --> 00:15:10,629 I told you to have that sleepover so you wouldn't find out about our party. 382 00:15:10,653 --> 00:15:12,715 But... you said I was cool. 383 00:15:12,739 --> 00:15:14,425 Oh, you're not, you suck. 384 00:15:14,449 --> 00:15:15,926 And to add some injury to insult, 385 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,790 fuck you, you little blue bitch! 386 00:15:21,372 --> 00:15:23,517 Korvo! Ready to scoop up the Pupa? 387 00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,394 I've changed my mind, you can't have the Pupa. 388 00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:26,645 But, uh, isn't Terry an idiot? 389 00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:29,694 - Yes, but he's a part of my team. And it's my job to lead them. 390 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:31,025 What about the plan? 391 00:15:31,049 --> 00:15:34,403 When will you terraform so we can get back to living our secret rich lives? 392 00:15:34,427 --> 00:15:35,824 You'll just have to keep doing what you're doing 393 00:15:35,848 --> 00:15:37,765 and wait for the Pupa to evolve just like us. 394 00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:40,396 K-Kabronius! What the hell! 395 00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:42,204 Let me out of here! 396 00:15:42,228 --> 00:15:44,356 No! That Pupa belongs to us! 397 00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:46,832 Ow, you're heavy. - Fuck you. 398 00:15:46,856 --> 00:15:49,396 Don't you touch my Pupa, you rich fucks! 399 00:15:52,236 --> 00:15:53,255 Let me out of here! 400 00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:57,051 The Pupa will be happier in a team of real Shlorpians. 401 00:15:57,075 --> 00:15:59,222 - Fuck you, Zelvod! You're a piece of shit! You hear me? 402 00:15:59,246 --> 00:16:01,324 Fuck all of you! You're a bunch of hacky ALFs! 403 00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:11,565 Damn it! Wait, the sacred number. 404 00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:14,099 Eight, five, nine, four, two... 405 00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:17,306 Pupa detected, coordinates locked. 406 00:16:18,221 --> 00:16:20,491 Five, two, damn it, six! 407 00:16:20,515 --> 00:16:22,826 Ha! I knew that stupid number the whole time! 408 00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,370 Who's an idiot now? 409 00:16:24,394 --> 00:16:26,524 Fuck! Eight, five, seven, nine, four, two... 410 00:16:28,523 --> 00:16:31,085 Alien climbing up out of the sewer, huh? 411 00:16:31,109 --> 00:16:33,837 What a time to be alive! 412 00:16:33,861 --> 00:16:35,756 Welcome to the UK. - Which way to the Ferris wheel? 413 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,410 - Take you forever on foot, love. Come on, I'll give you a ride. 414 00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:00,406 I thought he was going to roll it like a big wheel, 415 00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:04,690 but I guess that lack of creativity is why I'm just a cop. 416 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,795 Give us your Pupa! 417 00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:15,796 Okay, why? 418 00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:18,410 - Talking is getting us nowhere. Lethal force! 419 00:17:24,329 --> 00:17:26,436 Fuck you, you're never gonna get our Pupa. 420 00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,456 Activate auto defenses! 421 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,690 On my count, unleash sci-fi hell! 422 00:17:48,102 --> 00:17:51,022 Three, two, one... 423 00:17:59,697 --> 00:18:02,843 Jesus, shit. That was the craziest battle I've ever been in. 424 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:04,345 And all in one unbroken take? 425 00:18:04,369 --> 00:18:06,352 That must have cost a million dollars! 426 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,849 Give us the Pupa and we'll stop shooting at you. 427 00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:11,163 Let's just blast him and take the Pupa. 428 00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:18,192 Stop, stop! You can have the Pupa, 429 00:18:18,216 --> 00:18:19,944 but we need to tell you how to take care of it. 430 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,745 If it dies, you won't get to be rich and lazy. 431 00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,511 All right, fine! You have 30 seconds! 432 00:18:24,264 --> 00:18:26,492 Korvo! The Pupa's like our baby. 433 00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:27,660 You can't give him away. 434 00:18:27,684 --> 00:18:28,974 Shut up. I'm team leader. 435 00:18:30,353 --> 00:18:31,872 And these guys have never seen a Pupa before. 436 00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:32,414 So? 437 00:18:32,438 --> 00:18:35,198 In case this doesn't work, go hide under the covers with this gun. 438 00:18:41,614 --> 00:18:44,301 Here's the Pupa. Tha-tha-that's the whole Pupa, right there. 439 00:18:44,325 --> 00:18:45,719 Wait. 440 00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:48,138 It's even cuter than I imagined! 441 00:18:48,162 --> 00:18:50,975 It's an honor to meet you, oh noble Pupa. 442 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,982 The Pupa needs to be walked four times a day. 443 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,354 Don't forget, or she'll pee where you don't want her to. 444 00:18:55,378 --> 00:18:57,356 Make sure to wipe its tushy with a wet wipe. 445 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,445 You have to boil fresh chicken and rice for her. 446 00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:01,530 - Uh-huh, slow down. - Fresh, or she gets hives. 447 00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:04,321 Also, I'm so sorry, but her ears are a mess! 448 00:19:04,345 --> 00:19:05,322 Slow down. Slow down. 449 00:19:05,346 --> 00:19:08,033 Wow, way to not know the basics of Pupa care. 450 00:19:08,057 --> 00:19:09,702 So how do we make it evolve and terraform? 451 00:19:09,726 --> 00:19:12,246 If it's not terraforming, that just means you aren't making it happy enough. 452 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:16,250 We will dedicate our entire lives to pleasing this creature. 453 00:19:16,274 --> 00:19:18,043 - Okay, good luck! Oh, and every time it barks, 454 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,462 you have to punch yourself in the face. 455 00:19:19,486 --> 00:19:20,655 He's right, that's true. 456 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:23,950 Oh! 457 00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:25,532 Ah! 458 00:19:25,867 --> 00:19:27,207 Ah! 459 00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:31,851 Oh. Something just fell out of its stinking hole. 460 00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:34,793 That must mean it's ready to start terraforming! 461 00:19:37,337 --> 00:19:38,837 Ow! 462 00:19:39,923 --> 00:19:42,484 - What happened to you? - The cool kids threw me in a tree, 463 00:19:42,508 --> 00:19:45,018 so I'm going to kill them with my satellite. 464 00:19:47,388 --> 00:19:50,910 I thought you used that thing to look for ladies sun-tanning on their roofs. 465 00:19:50,934 --> 00:19:52,661 Yeah, well, now I'm going to use it to melt bullies. 466 00:19:52,685 --> 00:19:54,580 - Ahem! - Uh, who are you? 467 00:19:54,604 --> 00:19:56,206 I'm Daryl. Here for the sleepover. 468 00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:58,127 - Wha... You are? - Yeah, y'all still doing that? 469 00:19:58,151 --> 00:20:00,926 - Nobody else showed up. - Oh good, I hate people anyway. 470 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,254 So do I! 471 00:20:02,278 --> 00:20:05,015 Hey, you wanna see the wall full of adults I've shrunk? 472 00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,051 Sure. 473 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,053 Oh, so it's like an ant farm, huh? 474 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,763 Yeah, I know, it's dumb. 475 00:20:10,787 --> 00:20:11,974 No, no, no, I like it. 476 00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:15,353 Hey, you wanna play games on our phones and talk shit about people? 477 00:20:15,377 --> 00:20:17,875 Yes, a billion times, yes. 478 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,481 That was a crazy day. 479 00:20:20,505 --> 00:20:23,025 Hey, you know what. I-I'm just glad everything is back to normal. 480 00:20:23,049 --> 00:20:24,614 We all learned a lesson. 481 00:20:24,638 --> 00:20:26,320 Feels good. Feels good in here 482 00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:27,655 and feels good down here. 483 00:20:27,679 --> 00:20:31,533 The lesson I learned today is to start doubling down on being strict 484 00:20:31,557 --> 00:20:33,582 and being even more dedicated to the mission than ever before. 485 00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:34,495 Korvo, no! 486 00:20:34,519 --> 00:20:36,374 Yes! That way I'll never feel like some other alien 487 00:20:36,398 --> 00:20:37,831 is more orthodox than me ever again! 488 00:20:37,855 --> 00:20:40,084 Well, then I'm going to double down on being shallow and trashy 489 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,043 just to cancel you out. 490 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:41,794 No, don't do that! 491 00:20:41,818 --> 00:20:43,504 I do what I want, son! I'm li'l Terry. 492 00:20:43,528 --> 00:20:44,505 I'm team leader, that's an order! 493 00:20:44,529 --> 00:20:45,594 - I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. 494 00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:46,573 - Fuck you, Terry! - I can't hear you. 495 00:20:47,907 --> 00:20:49,972 Oh Jesus, was that the Pupa's gun? 496 00:20:49,996 --> 00:20:52,033 No... no, no, no, no, no, no! 497 00:20:52,996 --> 00:20:54,640 Holy shit. 498 00:20:54,664 --> 00:20:55,724 The Pupa killed a Robocop! 499 00:20:55,748 --> 00:20:58,378 Oh, I am so proud of you!