1 00:00:07,582 --> 00:00:09,938 Alright, Terry, I'm switching on the Neutronium Diode. 2 00:00:09,962 --> 00:00:11,729 This thing's a temperamental little slut 3 00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:13,814 so be ready to cut the power source ASAP. 4 00:00:13,838 --> 00:00:15,798 - As Shlorpian as possible. - Gotcha, buddy! 5 00:00:16,979 --> 00:00:18,236 Oh! Terry, turn it off! 6 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,613 Terry! Do it now! Ow, fucking ow, ow, ow, fuck! 7 00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:23,897 Terry! Fuck! Ow! Terry! Ow! Terry! 8 00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:25,578 Gotcha, buddy! 9 00:00:25,602 --> 00:00:27,470 Gotcha, buddy! Gotcha, buddy! 10 00:00:27,978 --> 00:00:30,081 Gotcha, buddy! Gotcha, buddy! 11 00:00:30,105 --> 00:00:31,374 Gotcha, buddy! 12 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,406 Oh crap, I forgot about Korvo! 13 00:00:35,193 --> 00:00:37,213 Help, Terry. I think I'm dying. 14 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,173 Please, cancel my subscription to Goop. 15 00:00:39,197 --> 00:00:41,344 Oh god, oh no, I'm so sorry, Korv. 16 00:00:41,368 --> 00:00:43,390 Now-now is it the green button or the yellow one. 17 00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:45,263 I'm such a Forgetful Frankie Muniz. 18 00:00:45,287 --> 00:00:47,064 That's not a joke, he had a serious head injury. 19 00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,120 Oh! 20 00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:49,934 Ahh! 21 00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:55,106 Terry, I'm gonna ask you one time and you better not lie: 22 00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:56,816 did you abandon your post and go to Disneyland? 23 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,150 What? No, I was... 24 00:00:58,174 --> 00:01:00,069 I got these at Target. 25 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,071 I know for a fact they don't sell those at Target. 26 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,910 - Online they do. Black Friday deal, got an email. 27 00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:05,533 Dammit, it probably went to my spam. 28 00:01:05,557 --> 00:01:08,107 Fucking Hulumail sucks. Will you forward it to me? 29 00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:10,621 - I'd have to get back to you. Let's get you down from there. 30 00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:11,922 - Ohhh! - Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! 31 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,124 Which button is it again? 32 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,648 Which button is it? - Terry! 33 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:18,129 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 34 00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:19,993 Until the asteroid hit. 35 00:01:20,989 --> 00:01:23,175 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 36 00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:25,303 and escaped into, uh, the space, 37 00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:27,917 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 38 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:31,392 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 39 00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:33,023 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 40 00:01:33,047 --> 00:01:34,937 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 41 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,190 This is... this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 42 00:01:37,214 --> 00:01:38,651 This is ridiculous. 43 00:01:38,675 --> 00:01:40,735 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 44 00:01:40,759 --> 00:01:41,611 People are stupid. 45 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,740 Why are they all so excited about keeping themselves alive? 46 00:01:43,764 --> 00:01:45,531 Don't they know when you die you come back stronger 47 00:01:45,555 --> 00:01:46,832 and with an earthier flavor? 48 00:01:58,735 --> 00:02:01,047 Sigourney Weaver is your perfect Earth babe? 49 00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:01,923 Uh, yeah! 50 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,261 She's a woman of science, 51 00:02:03,285 --> 00:02:05,343 she already has a prior relationship with aliens, 52 00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,094 and she has the biceps of a young Al Gore. 53 00:02:07,118 --> 00:02:08,721 She's one handsome lady, that's for sure. 54 00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:10,085 I'd put a bun in that oven. 55 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:11,477 Ahh! 56 00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:15,144 Yo, check it. This dickless dork has a poster of Sigourney Weaver! 57 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,355 How dare you, she's America's hot older aunt! 58 00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:18,940 I know! 59 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,819 Which is why you have no business hanging a poster of her in your locker. 60 00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:24,403 She tried to save the Na'vi while making smoking look cool again. 61 00:02:24,427 --> 00:02:25,992 What the fuck did you ever do? 62 00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:28,032 You will never be strong enough, cool enough, 63 00:02:28,056 --> 00:02:30,663 or confident enough to get a woman like Sigi Weave. 64 00:02:30,687 --> 00:02:32,745 Ohh! 65 00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:35,790 Principal Cooke, are you gonna do something about this bullying? 66 00:02:35,814 --> 00:02:36,774 Yes. 67 00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:39,835 Two weeks detention for thinking you could ever date 68 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:41,295 a goddess like Sigourney Weaver! 69 00:02:41,319 --> 00:02:44,257 She won a spoken-word Grammy, you piece of shit! 70 00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:47,510 - You okay? - What? Of course. Are you okay? 71 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,470 I am super, capital S. 72 00:02:49,494 --> 00:02:51,768 I thought Stacy K. flicked a booger at me in math 73 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,599 but turns out it was just an eraser, 74 00:02:53,623 --> 00:02:54,730 so I guess we're BFFs now. 75 00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:56,936 Jesus, Jesse, stop badgering me! 76 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,272 Fine, I'm not okay! Is that what you want to hear? 77 00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,232 I just, I want to destroy those cool kids, 78 00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:03,818 but Korvo deactivated all the awesome weapons in my suit. 79 00:03:03,842 --> 00:03:04,739 You know what you should do? 80 00:03:04,763 --> 00:03:07,655 Go to a gym, start lifting weights, maybe some CrossFit 81 00:03:07,679 --> 00:03:09,282 and then when you're all swole and shit, 82 00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:11,742 you can come back and beat up all those cool kids. 83 00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:12,743 You really think that would work? 84 00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:15,538 Totally! So you're gonna take my idea and hit the gym? 85 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:16,873 Hell, no, your ideas suck. 86 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,791 I know exactly what I'm gonna do. 87 00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:19,922 They'll never see it coming! 88 00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:21,691 - Don't say poisonous... - Poisonous snakes! 89 00:03:22,652 --> 00:03:25,840 Hola, Korvito! I got you some Texi-Mexi from Pedro's 90 00:03:25,864 --> 00:03:27,842 to say sorry for that little thing earlier. 91 00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:29,223 I scored you a bunch of salsa! 92 00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:32,180 Terry, for the last time, salsa is not a real apology. 93 00:03:32,204 --> 00:03:34,640 And you know the only food I like eating at those Mexican restaurants 94 00:03:34,664 --> 00:03:36,601 are those sliced radishes! Mm! 95 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,771 More for me! Hey, so what's this bad boy all about? 96 00:03:38,795 --> 00:03:41,522 Don't touch. This "bad boy" can send warranty letters 97 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:44,652 back to the factory on Shlorp that made the Diode in the first place. 98 00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:47,530 Wait, didn't Shlorp blow up like a new Lizzo single? Topical. 99 00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:49,949 Yes, but this uses a temporal address 100 00:03:49,973 --> 00:03:53,951 that can send the letter back in time to before Shlorp went boom-boom-pow. 101 00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:57,205 I was trying to piggyback on-on-on your, on your reference to music. 102 00:03:57,940 --> 00:04:01,083 Then they'll be able to fix this defect before it even leaves the factory. 103 00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,211 Now sit back and watch Korvo 104 00:04:03,235 --> 00:04:05,087 as he... fixes everything. 105 00:04:12,702 --> 00:04:14,769 We got another complaint about the defect 106 00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:17,558 on Diode number zork-6915. 107 00:04:17,582 --> 00:04:19,189 And also, who keeps eating my lunch? 108 00:04:19,213 --> 00:04:20,937 Seriously. It has my name on it, guys. 109 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,648 Stop fucking smiling, Grant, I know it's you! 110 00:04:27,509 --> 00:04:29,820 Oh, I get it, so this mailbox works just like the one 111 00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:31,661 from the Sandy Bullock tear-jerker The Lake House. 112 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:35,159 First, her God - given name is Sandra, show some respect. 113 00:04:35,183 --> 00:04:38,458 And second, this is a highly scientific, carefully calibrated portal 114 00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:41,207 that acts as a quantum time travel customer service line. 115 00:04:41,231 --> 00:04:44,043 It's not "like" some crappy movie nobody's ever seen. 116 00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:45,673 First, not a crappy movie. 117 00:04:45,697 --> 00:04:47,299 Two, everybody's seen it. 118 00:04:47,323 --> 00:04:49,840 And three, it's basically the thing from the movie! 119 00:04:49,864 --> 00:04:51,954 Goddammit, Terry, it's nothing like The Lake House! 120 00:04:54,286 --> 00:04:56,889 So it's a little exactly like The Lake House. 121 00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:57,768 Told ya! 122 00:04:57,792 --> 00:05:00,726 Maybe now you'll finally believe that I saw a "The Meg" when I went snorkeling. 123 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:03,062 Oh my god, you did not see a "The Meg." 124 00:05:03,086 --> 00:05:04,230 Let's get back to work, 125 00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:06,023 and you need to clean up the popcorn you spilled 126 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:07,324 when Keanu took his shirt off. 127 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,861 Yeah, no thanks on the whole "getting back to work" plan. 128 00:05:09,885 --> 00:05:12,613 Instead, I'm gonna crush a big bag of Buffalo-flavored Snickers 129 00:05:12,637 --> 00:05:14,073 while I lay here and fart. 130 00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:15,582 Terry, straight-up, real talk, 131 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,201 why are you such a lazy piece of shit? 132 00:05:17,225 --> 00:05:19,453 - Great question, KV. I was grown this way. 133 00:05:19,477 --> 00:05:22,083 I've been lazy all my life, ever since I was a little replicant 134 00:05:22,107 --> 00:05:23,791 birddogging thotties on the playground. 135 00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:24,792 Just me and the thots. 136 00:05:24,816 --> 00:05:26,002 Wouldn't you rather be like me, 137 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,172 rule following, hardworking, slim. 138 00:05:28,196 --> 00:05:29,550 Basically fucking amazing. 139 00:05:29,574 --> 00:05:32,091 Look, nothing and no one at this present time and space 140 00:05:32,115 --> 00:05:33,220 is gwan change me. 141 00:05:33,244 --> 00:05:35,598 You can't change me, you can't change me... 142 00:05:35,622 --> 00:05:38,264 This gives me a very specific idea. 143 00:05:38,288 --> 00:05:39,974 Computer, activate AISHA. 144 00:05:39,998 --> 00:05:42,226 Korvo, make it quick, you know I'm watchin' my stories. 145 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,061 If I were to change the address on the letter 146 00:05:44,085 --> 00:05:45,771 I send through The Lake House device, 147 00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:47,901 will it get delivered to any Shlorpian in the past? 148 00:05:47,925 --> 00:05:51,652 Technically, yes, but non-warranty time travel voids the warranty. 149 00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:54,766 - Hmmm, I do like warranties. But it's worth a shot. 150 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:59,351 Dearest Young Terry, I pray this letter finds you well... 151 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,840 My sincere hope is that you will dedicate your life to science 152 00:06:10,864 --> 00:06:13,427 and cleaning up and not being such a lazy piece of shit. 153 00:06:13,451 --> 00:06:15,593 The truth is, if you don't do those things, 154 00:06:15,617 --> 00:06:17,850 your blood will turn into shlorbats. 155 00:06:17,874 --> 00:06:21,039 You know what they are. Your friend, mystery person. 156 00:06:21,498 --> 00:06:23,100 I'd better stop being lazy! 157 00:06:23,124 --> 00:06:25,728 Sorry, Yum, I'm fresh out of the super poisonous snakes. 158 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:26,632 What else you got, Derek? 159 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:29,565 These platypi got stingers in 'em that emit a poison 160 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,150 that can seriously fuck somebody up. 161 00:06:31,174 --> 00:06:33,110 Really? They look so cute. 162 00:06:33,134 --> 00:06:36,014 - Cute? Check this. Rodney tests all my shit. Yo, Rod! 163 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,658 Show 'em, Ney. 164 00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:41,412 Aah! Oh! 165 00:06:41,436 --> 00:06:44,372 Sweet! I'll take ‘em. 166 00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:47,002 Good morning, sleepy-peepy! 167 00:06:47,026 --> 00:06:48,292 You just getting up? - Yes. 168 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:50,586 Ha-have you been getting a jump start on the day? 169 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,587 You know it, my man! 170 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,172 I already did all the work on the ship, 171 00:06:53,196 --> 00:06:54,721 cleaned the house, folded the laundry. 172 00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:56,717 You know what they say, if you're a lazy piece of shit, 173 00:06:56,741 --> 00:06:57,991 your blood will turn to bats! 174 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:01,681 Holy fuck, The Lake House device worked! 175 00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:04,505 This is a lot of power, gotta be careful about not abusing it. 176 00:07:06,084 --> 00:07:08,813 Are you eating Honey Nut Hulios with a fork? 177 00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,442 Uh, yeah, that's how you eat them. 178 00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:11,732 I'm sorry if it's annoying. 179 00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:13,823 I like the feeling of the tines on my teeth. 180 00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:16,052 Ugh. I'll be right back. 181 00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:25,121 Korvo, just finishing eating my cereal with a spoon like a normal person. 182 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,250 Hey, after I'm done, do you want to spend all afternoon 183 00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:28,669 ranking our favorite buttons on the ship? 184 00:07:28,693 --> 00:07:31,252 I mean, number one has to be laser number 17. 185 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,921 But number two... who fucking knows! 186 00:07:33,945 --> 00:07:35,905 Ha, ha! - I would love to. 187 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,662 Ow! Stop! Ow, heel, bitches! 188 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,722 When you're all swole and shit, 189 00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,393 you can come back and beat up all those cool kids. 190 00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:47,351 That's a good idea... ow! 191 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,562 Fuck you, platypussies! 192 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,318 Hello, my name is Yumyulack. Yeah, I know it's a dope name. 193 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:58,821 I need to get super jacked and swole with lots of muscles and confidence 194 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,410 so people will respect me and I won't feel like such a loser. 195 00:08:01,434 --> 00:08:03,201 So, obviously, the stakes are high. 196 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,582 Oh, and it has to be done by the time school starts tomorrow. 197 00:08:05,606 --> 00:08:09,081 Wish we could help, friend, but we used to be losers just like you. 198 00:08:09,105 --> 00:08:12,001 We thought if we just got buff then people would respect us. 199 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,590 We spent years lifting weights and shooting steroids. 200 00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:16,839 I literally can't see my balls, they've shrunk so much. 201 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:17,970 And then there's the acne. 202 00:08:17,994 --> 00:08:21,302 We're taking backne, crackne, and sackne. 203 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:22,428 The Holy Trinity, yo. 204 00:08:22,452 --> 00:08:23,888 But y-you guys look so confident. 205 00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:24,972 It's fake, man. 206 00:08:24,996 --> 00:08:27,183 Take it from me, you can't manufacture it 207 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,769 out of a cocktail of Viagra, HGH, 208 00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:31,771 and some of Jon Hamm's pee. 209 00:08:31,795 --> 00:08:33,400 It can't be built in a gym. 210 00:08:33,424 --> 00:08:35,983 It has to be inside you the whole time. 211 00:08:36,007 --> 00:08:37,490 Well, who has it then? 212 00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:38,569 That guy. 213 00:08:39,636 --> 00:08:41,623 That Pete Davidson-looking dork? 214 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,408 What does he have? - B-D-E. 215 00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:46,312 Big Dick Energy. 216 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:48,913 Holy shit! 217 00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,581 BDE is legit. 218 00:08:50,605 --> 00:08:53,630 Oh yeah. But you can't get it, you have to be born with it. 219 00:08:53,654 --> 00:08:55,296 We'll sci-fi see about that. 220 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,648 Ow! 221 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,307 Hey, Yum, how'd that platypus deal work out for you? 222 00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:09,688 I bailed on it. Went to the gym. 223 00:09:09,712 --> 00:09:11,227 Oh, great. I knew I was right. 224 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,398 Nope, bailed on that too. 225 00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:14,313 I'm making a large penis for myself instead. 226 00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,774 Wow, you've had quite a journey since I last saw you. 227 00:09:16,798 --> 00:09:19,485 It's called Big Dick Energy and when I get it, I'll be unstoppable. 228 00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:22,238 I don't know, a big dick seems really dangerous. 229 00:09:25,682 --> 00:09:27,392 Oh! 230 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,621 Now let's take this new big dick out for a spin. 231 00:09:30,645 --> 00:09:32,792 Whatever you want to do is cool. 232 00:09:32,816 --> 00:09:33,814 Damn right, it is. 233 00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:49,102 Yumyulack, sorry about the other day. 234 00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:51,269 Here's a handsaw and some stuck porn 235 00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:52,937 I confiscated off another kid. 236 00:09:52,961 --> 00:09:55,438 We're good? Yeah, w-w-we're good. Yeah. 237 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,608 Eh, there we go. 238 00:09:56,632 --> 00:09:58,357 Finally finished washing the little guy! 239 00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,860 If you don't clean the Pupa, your blood turns to bats. 240 00:10:00,884 --> 00:10:02,991 It's kind of amazing how many things turn your blood to bats, you know. 241 00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:04,617 Oh, ha, I know all about that. 242 00:10:04,641 --> 00:10:07,116 Uh, okay, so it's time for movie night. 243 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,619 I thought we could screen this training video about levers. 244 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,661 It's-it's very captivating. 245 00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:12,788 Ohhh, "F" that weak noise! 246 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:14,749 We're watching all the Fast and Furious movies 247 00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:16,667 in chronological order! 248 00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:18,481 The way Vinnie Diesel intended it. 249 00:10:19,236 --> 00:10:20,696 I'll be right back. 250 00:10:22,787 --> 00:10:25,510 Levers! Levers! Levers! 251 00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:26,719 Levers are the best! 252 00:10:26,743 --> 00:10:28,308 Oh, you guys are just in time for movie night. 253 00:10:28,332 --> 00:10:29,472 We're watching this awesome doc on... 254 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,683 Nah, fam, for once we're watching what I want to watch, 255 00:10:32,707 --> 00:10:35,686 either YouTube clips of Russian car accidents or Paddington 2. 256 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:36,880 - Whatever you want. - Sounds great. 257 00:10:37,295 --> 00:10:39,815 Oh geez. BDE is real. 258 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,651 And it is formidable. 259 00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:48,241 Yo, yo, check it, this is my imitation of a guy in Fortnite. 260 00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:50,792 Oh, I'm walking into a wall, what am I gonna do? 261 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,704 Yum, your shit is L-M-A-O. 262 00:10:53,728 --> 00:10:55,206 You're like a real-life meme. 263 00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:03,381 Terry, um, could you clean and prepare all 72,000 micronauts. 264 00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:05,174 I-I-I need to fix the hyderdeck? 265 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,467 You bet your butt, Team Leader! 266 00:11:19,717 --> 00:11:21,399 Hmm. 267 00:11:30,807 --> 00:11:32,452 Don't forget to tune in this week 268 00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:34,292 for Saturday Night Live 269 00:11:34,316 --> 00:11:36,205 with host Yumyulack 270 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:40,293 and musical guest Yumyulack! 271 00:11:40,317 --> 00:11:42,634 I gotta tell you, this BDE thing is hella cray-cray. 272 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,630 You even made the WNBA cool. 273 00:11:44,654 --> 00:11:46,219 Like, to everybody. Not just me. 274 00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:49,010 It's actually a better brand of basketball than the men's game 275 00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:50,851 'cause they have to focus on the fundamentals. 276 00:11:54,623 --> 00:11:55,850 Idris Elba? 277 00:11:55,874 --> 00:11:57,560 Star of HBO's The Wire? 278 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,230 I loved you in Molly's Game! 279 00:11:59,254 --> 00:12:02,940 You had so many words to say, and you got almost some of them right! 280 00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:03,781 'Ello, Jesse. 281 00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:06,277 You know my name? I'm seriously going to plotz. 282 00:12:06,301 --> 00:12:07,862 I know everything about you. 283 00:12:07,886 --> 00:12:09,701 And your boy Yumyulack here. 284 00:12:09,725 --> 00:12:10,867 We've been watching you. 285 00:12:10,891 --> 00:12:12,617 Who's been watching me, Idris Elba? 286 00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:14,619 The Big Dick Energy Council. 287 00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:18,789 We are a secret and mystic fraternity, too complicated to explain, mate... 288 00:12:18,813 --> 00:12:20,630 Oh, let me guess, it's like a bunch of people with big dicks? 289 00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:22,919 Yep, that's pretty much it. But you have to understand, 290 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,213 for centuries, our council has been tasked 291 00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:28,184 with keeping a delicate balance of energy in the world, 292 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,885 but your new BDE is buggering it all up. 293 00:12:30,909 --> 00:12:32,553 Buggering means fucking in British. 294 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,763 I know what buggering means! 295 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,641 I came to offer you a spot on the council. 296 00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:39,894 Christian Bale stepped down after he lost all that penis weight for a movie. 297 00:12:39,918 --> 00:12:41,312 You could be one of the greats, 298 00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:44,613 but only we can show you how to harness your power for good. 299 00:12:44,637 --> 00:12:46,817 My answer... is no! 300 00:12:46,841 --> 00:12:49,153 I don't need you or your stupid council! 301 00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:51,697 BDE is a power stronger than any man 302 00:12:51,721 --> 00:12:54,077 and if you're not careful, it will consume you. 303 00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:55,868 Are you threatening me, Idris Elba? 304 00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:57,039 Just keeping it real, mate. 305 00:12:57,063 --> 00:12:59,288 Well, why don't you keep this real, mate. 306 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,998 I'm gonna make a dick so big 307 00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:04,442 that you and your stupid council will be begging me to suck it! 308 00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:11,243 Mmm, ass smells like Luther. 309 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,345 Alright, this is usually when the ship starts to drag because of... 310 00:13:14,369 --> 00:13:16,097 The effects of zero gravity but if we just... 311 00:13:16,121 --> 00:13:17,977 Accelerate the constant thrust trajectory 312 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:19,767 time dilation won't be a problem! 313 00:13:19,791 --> 00:13:21,102 Yeah! 314 00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:23,441 - I gotta say, Terry. Working on the ship with you, 315 00:13:23,465 --> 00:13:24,817 it just makes me so happy. 316 00:13:24,841 --> 00:13:26,607 This is perfect. You are perfect. 317 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,278 Nothing more needs to be done. 318 00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:31,320 - Man, I feel the same way. I love working on sci-fi stuff with you. 319 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:32,281 It's so tight! 320 00:13:32,305 --> 00:13:33,573 Ech, I hate when you say that. 321 00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:35,700 - What? "Tight"? Too bad 'cause saying tight is like 322 00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:36,911 the tightest tight thing of all, 323 00:13:36,935 --> 00:13:39,370 so I'm gonna keep saying it until "lit" gets cool again. 324 00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:41,024 Tight! Tighty-tight tight! 325 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,291 I'll be right back. 326 00:13:43,315 --> 00:13:44,672 This is it. Last one. 327 00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:46,731 I swear. No more after this. 328 00:13:52,449 --> 00:13:56,387 Terry, should we get back to our non-tight sci-fi stuff? 329 00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:58,723 Are you okay? Terry? 330 00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:00,144 - Come on. Come on. - Terry! 331 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:02,351 Aah! 332 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,335 Korvo! 333 00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:05,980 What are you doing? 334 00:14:06,004 --> 00:14:07,732 I'm hosting SNL this week, 335 00:14:07,756 --> 00:14:11,283 and I need all the BDE I can summon 'cause I'm not funny! 336 00:14:11,307 --> 00:14:14,780 But Idris Elba told you not to mess with the BDE! 337 00:14:14,804 --> 00:14:17,331 Idris Elba doesn't know dick from dick! 338 00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:19,076 Aah! 339 00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:24,373 And he sure as hell doesn't know dick from two dicks! 340 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:32,535 Oh! 341 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,680 Oh fuck, I fucked up! I-I-I broke Terry. 342 00:14:35,704 --> 00:14:37,450 Korvo! I'm gonna kill you! 343 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,434 Aha! 344 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:44,852 Terry, I'm really sorry about what happened. 345 00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:47,772 But don't worry, I-I'm gonna write you a letter saying "be yourself" 346 00:14:47,796 --> 00:14:49,193 or-or something more eloquent. 347 00:14:49,217 --> 00:14:51,988 I-I'll workshop it, you know, for a little while probably... 348 00:14:52,012 --> 00:14:54,570 I promise you will go back to being the way you were! 349 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,659 - I don't wanna change! I like who I am now! 350 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,950 I like wearing women's eye shadow and murdering you! 351 00:14:58,974 --> 00:14:59,791 Aah! 352 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,370 It's Saturday Night Live! 353 00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:05,873 Ladies and gentlemen, your host, Yumyulack! 354 00:15:05,897 --> 00:15:07,607 Oh my god! 355 00:15:08,654 --> 00:15:11,128 Run! Everyone run! I can't control it. 356 00:15:11,152 --> 00:15:12,322 Idris Elba was right. 357 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,049 Idris Elba was right! 358 00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:38,823 - We have no choice! We're running out of time, goddammit! 359 00:15:38,847 --> 00:15:40,454 We have to blow Yumyulack up. - No! 360 00:15:40,478 --> 00:15:42,451 But, General Mills, it will destroy Manhattan 361 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,872 and kill thousands of innocent people! 362 00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:46,500 General Hospital, it's a loss I am willing to take. 363 00:15:46,524 --> 00:15:48,833 Plus, the improv scene's dead here anyway. 364 00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:50,877 Alright, it's DEFDICK ONE. 365 00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:52,338 It's time to ready the bombers! 366 00:15:54,529 --> 00:15:55,965 There's only one person that can help. 367 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,510 I just hope I can get to them on time without giving away who it is. 368 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,390 Ahh! Ahh! 369 00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:06,164 Ahh! 370 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:07,924 Ohh! 371 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,606 Sigourney Weaver? Is that you? 372 00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:14,692 It is I, Susan Alexander Weaver. 373 00:16:14,716 --> 00:16:15,863 Wait, that's your real name? 374 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,362 - Yes, but I go by Sigourney. - Good call. 375 00:16:18,386 --> 00:16:20,364 Sigourney, I went too far. 376 00:16:20,388 --> 00:16:22,325 I flew too close to the big dick sun 377 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,951 and now everyone is gonna die. 378 00:16:23,975 --> 00:16:25,328 Hush, my child. 379 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,829 No one is dying today. 380 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:29,290 Because I have the one and only thing, 381 00:16:29,314 --> 00:16:30,921 since the beginning of time, 382 00:16:30,945 --> 00:16:32,835 that can stop BDE. 383 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,796 You see, I am made of pure NFG. 384 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,381 No Fucks Given. 385 00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:40,718 Yes, that's right, my sweet, sweet boy, 386 00:16:40,742 --> 00:16:42,053 I don't give a fuck. 387 00:16:42,077 --> 00:16:43,137 That's so cool. 388 00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:45,308 I was thinking of getting the Arby's logo tattooed on my back. 389 00:16:45,332 --> 00:16:48,750 No. Now just sit back and relax. 390 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,494 That was amazing. 391 00:17:06,518 --> 00:17:07,787 You saved the world. 392 00:17:07,811 --> 00:17:10,289 Yumyulack, you don't need BDE 393 00:17:10,313 --> 00:17:12,500 to become the person you want to be. 394 00:17:12,524 --> 00:17:14,630 You just have to believe in yourself 395 00:17:14,654 --> 00:17:16,170 and, say it with me now... 396 00:17:16,194 --> 00:17:18,091 Not give a fuck. - Sell weed to the cool kids. 397 00:17:18,115 --> 00:17:20,153 Right, sorry, not give a fuck. 398 00:17:27,372 --> 00:17:29,978 I'm so glad your penises aren't blowing up anymore. 399 00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:31,978 I got to meet Sigourney Weaver. 400 00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:34,649 - I know, I called her. And she came! - But how did you... 401 00:17:34,673 --> 00:17:36,232 I'm a junior member! 402 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,073 I can't vote at meetings, but I do get a hoodie. 403 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:41,112 But I-I don't understand, you were under my BDE spell. 404 00:17:41,136 --> 00:17:44,120 I was just watching and waiting for the right time. 405 00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:47,159 Wh-why did you wait until after my dicks blew up and destroyed the city? 406 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:49,161 I told you I'm a junior member! 407 00:17:49,185 --> 00:17:50,832 I don't know all the stuff yet! 408 00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,086 Ahh! 409 00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,551 Ahh! Terry, this is all my fault. 410 00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:05,892 I wrote those letters to make you into something that you weren't. 411 00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:08,639 It turned you into a murderous psychopath. That was wrong. 412 00:18:08,663 --> 00:18:12,059 If you let me send this last letter, it will undo everything. I promise. 413 00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:14,583 - You promise? - Yes, Terry! I promise. 414 00:18:15,253 --> 00:18:16,689 Too late. 415 00:18:19,007 --> 00:18:19,944 Read it, Terry. 416 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,987 Don't be a little bitch. 417 00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:24,864 I will never read it. 418 00:18:24,888 --> 00:18:27,992 This is who I am now. And nothing will change me! 419 00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:30,479 Oh. 420 00:19:43,508 --> 00:19:45,444 Dearest Terry, just be yourself. 421 00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:47,363 That will always be good enough for me. 422 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,784 Also, blood can't turn into shlorbats. 423 00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:51,662 I can't believe you bought that, it's so dumb. 424 00:19:51,686 --> 00:19:53,500 You're the dumbest idiot ever, ha ha ha. 425 00:19:53,524 --> 00:19:55,638 Your friend, Korvo. 426 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,514 Dear Korvo, if you are ever being chased 427 00:20:13,538 --> 00:20:15,808 by a super-handsome murderous psychopath, 428 00:20:15,832 --> 00:20:16,662 turn left! 429 00:20:24,841 --> 00:20:26,721 Turn left! I have to turn left! 430 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,373 Hey, hey! Korvotron, you okay? 431 00:20:39,397 --> 00:20:41,667 I'm chopping up some tomatoes to make my special salsa. 432 00:20:41,691 --> 00:20:43,002 Dude, I hope you aren't getting sick, 433 00:20:43,026 --> 00:20:45,796 'cause I am really not feeling like doing any work on the ship today. 434 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,007 Come on, you wanna watch all the Fast and Furious movies with me, 435 00:20:48,031 --> 00:20:50,593 including Fast and the Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw? 436 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,969 Yes, Terry, 437 00:20:51,993 --> 00:20:54,453 that would be... tight.