1 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,113 Hey, Korvo, you care if I take a Tiki nap in here? 2 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,908 I don't know why it's easier to drink and sleep on the couch than in bed. 3 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,034 But it is. 4 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:16,745 Go ahead, Terry. 5 00:00:16,769 --> 00:00:18,745 I'm just using the peace and quiet to re-catalogue 6 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,415 all 10,000 data spikes. 7 00:00:20,439 --> 00:00:21,706 It's so relaxing. 8 00:00:23,821 --> 00:00:25,001 Terry, Korvo! 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,045 Jesse got eyeliner all over my holocron, 10 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:27,879 and now it won't work! 11 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,968 I'm experimenting with eyebrows! 12 00:00:29,992 --> 00:00:31,844 Stop judging us with your facial hair! 13 00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:34,719 What on Gorb's Grey Grible is going on here!? 14 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,807 ...and a landing strip like Staci K! 15 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,518 - Shut up! Why aren't you at school? 16 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,144 Double duh, school's closed. 17 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,395 Oh great, what is it this time? 18 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,980 Another one of their meaningless holidays 19 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,028 like Apple Pie Day or Yom Kapper? 20 00:00:48,052 --> 00:00:50,610 No, it's summer. We learned about it last year, remember? 21 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,779 The whole ice lava thing? 22 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:52,570 No, what? 23 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,618 I guess we'll just have to stomach one extra day 24 00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:56,407 of you two taking up our adult space. 25 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,409 Probably better than you being molested at that school. 26 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,960 Summer break's three months long. 27 00:00:59,984 --> 00:01:01,287 Aw man. 28 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,581 - Three months? That's like one 90 Day Fiancé! 29 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,376 Yeah, and you better not be riding our crack like this the whole time. 30 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,628 Summer is when we get to do anything we want. 31 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,630 - Like a screaming competition. - Go! 32 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,557 This summer thing is not going to work for me, Terry. 33 00:01:15,581 --> 00:01:17,595 It's worse than the nightmare on Helms Street, 34 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,936 which is what they call the time a Port-a-Potty emptying truck 35 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,641 tipped over on Ed Helms' private drive. 36 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,642 Such a waste of poop. 37 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,185 I don't want the replicants at home! 38 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,770 I can't take three months of this, Terry! 39 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,441 I like them for 45 minutes in the morning 40 00:01:27,465 --> 00:01:29,274 and maybe a couple of hours at night, tops. 41 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,025 Well, we obviously have to kill the replicants. 42 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,486 - It does make the most sense. We can always grow new ones. 43 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,655 Let's do it quick, before we get too attached to these. 44 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,824 What are we talkin', poison? 45 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,032 Put 'em in a bag and throw them in a quarry? 46 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,660 I was thinking we could maybe just shave some glass into their food. 47 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,711 I could use my pillow as a silencer and shoot them in their sleep? 48 00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,164 Right in their fuckin' face. 49 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:47,208 Or use the pillow for a good old-fashioned smothering. 50 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,049 Just like the ones we see on TV and movies, Terry. 51 00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:52,174 Looks like the Solar Opposites are killing their replicants! 52 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:54,340 - Um, excuse me. Hi, Terry. Korvo. 53 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,594 I couldn't help but overhear you debating different ways to kill your children. 54 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,553 - That is correct. - Mind your own business, 55 00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,554 you old bowl of soup. 56 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,998 Why don't you just send them to summer camp? 57 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,208 Pretend we don't know anything and walk us through it. 58 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,937 Thank God this camp thing came up. 59 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,985 Jesse and I were just about to kill you guys. 60 00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:11,941 What? We were about to kill you guys too! 61 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,194 - That is so funny. Great minds think alike! 62 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,615 Camp! Camp! Camp! 63 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:16,988 Camp! Camp! Camp! 64 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,722 Hey! It's a camp thing! 65 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:22,160 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia. 66 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,694 Until the asteroid hit. 67 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,335 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 68 00:02:27,359 --> 00:02:29,375 and escaped into, uh, the space, 69 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,819 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 70 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,423 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 71 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,133 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 72 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,927 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 73 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,346 This is... this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 74 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,727 This is ridiculous. 75 00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:44,641 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 76 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,392 People are stupid. 77 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,352 I don't understand why people like daylight so much. 78 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,145 It's so loud when it hits your skin. 79 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,240 Ooh, ooh, camp sounds amazing. 80 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,950 I'm excited to use my bounty hunting skills 81 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,160 to hunt down and torture those who have captured the flag. 82 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,458 And I'm excited for a sexual awakening. 83 00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:09,165 I heard last year Julia Howland went to camp a girl 84 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,416 and came back a woman. 85 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,126 But then it turned out it actually was a woman 86 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,170 and they never found Julia's body. 87 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:14,801 Crazy, huh? 88 00:03:14,825 --> 00:03:17,966 Well, I'm excited to perform something from Angels in America on talent night. 89 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,385 I took out all the gay stuff and doubled the angels. 90 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,886 You're not going to camp, Terry! 91 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,347 The whole point is that we're gonna have the house to ourselves. 92 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,807 Are you still Tiki drunk? 93 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:26,850 No. 94 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,021 Terry, t-take your next left. 95 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,070 This is camp? 96 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,321 No, don't be dumb. 97 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,698 It's much, much deeper in the woods. 98 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,972 Okay, guys, remember: we parked by trees. 99 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,664 Halt. This... is camp. 100 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,874 Goodbye, we're leaving. Good luck. 101 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,545 Wha... it-it looks the same as where we parked. 102 00:03:52,569 --> 00:03:54,669 Yeah, this just feels like the regular old woods. 103 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:55,510 Where's camp? 104 00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:58,884 We talked to our creepy, bitchy neighbor for almost five minutes about this, 105 00:03:58,908 --> 00:04:01,259 so I know for sure that this is camp. 106 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,261 We leave you here for two or three weeks, 107 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,763 and you learn to swim or some shit, and then we come pick you up. 108 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,598 The end. 109 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:07,729 - Done and done. - Cool, works for me. 110 00:04:07,753 --> 00:04:09,726 - We'll visit over parents' weekend. Okay, bye. 111 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,020 No, we won't. Terry, are you sure the car is this way? 112 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,230 I took four units of pathfinding at the academy 113 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,319 to prepare for life on dangerous alien worlds. 114 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,109 I think I can walk us out of the woods. 115 00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:23,239 - What the fuck, Terry? Just admit it, we're lost! 116 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,540 It's just up here, I promise. 117 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:27,368 Camp sucks, there's not even a flag to capture. 118 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,876 Hey, how long does it take to sexually awaken? 119 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,249 I whittled a boyfriend to grind on, you know, for when it happens. 120 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,670 This is Nate Jacobs. We met at his bark-mitzvah. 121 00:04:35,694 --> 00:04:37,420 - Can we just go home? - Yes. 122 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,469 Except we're lost. - I knew it! 123 00:04:38,493 --> 00:04:40,965 All because you couldn't stop drinking those stupid Tiki drinks. 124 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,846 They're not stupid! I find my way out of the woods better when I'm drunk. 125 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:46,429 You ever even had any of these? This one's from a coconut. 126 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,350 Aw! 127 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,227 How can we possibly be lost? 128 00:04:49,251 --> 00:04:52,185 We have access to the most sophisticated tracking equipment in the quadrant. 129 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,354 I left it in the car, okay. 130 00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:55,104 We're going to be trapped here until we die, 131 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,149 and I'll never get to have a 500 Days of Summer quirky romance 132 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,656 with a manic pixie dream boy! 133 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,237 - Everybody calm down. I'm an expert trailblazer. 134 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,076 We just have to follow the dimmest star, 135 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,157 it'll always lead directly South. 136 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,037 All the stars are dim on this stupid planet! 137 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,497 Why is there a branch through my shoulder? 138 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,668 Because you said if we didn't eat soon 139 00:05:14,692 --> 00:05:17,001 you were going to ram a branch through your shoulder. 140 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,002 And that was six weeks ago. 141 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,046 Oh right, yeah, I guess I'm in shock. 142 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,847 There's no question anymore, we have a serial killer on our hands. 143 00:05:25,871 --> 00:05:27,679 Whoa, we're going straight to judging people 144 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,599 just because of five identical murders? 145 00:05:29,623 --> 00:05:30,723 I'm not convinced. 146 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,142 I still think a cricket did it. 147 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:32,976 A cricket? 148 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,769 Could a cricket kill five random men, 149 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,229 surgically remove their organs, 150 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,568 and place their corpses in the shape of a winky face? 151 00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:39,816 Have you seen Pinocchio? 152 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,776 Yeah. Who knows what they could accomplish 153 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,157 if they put their minds to murdering. 154 00:05:43,181 --> 00:05:44,279 Or worse, their legs. 155 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,330 Ooh, what if it's two crickets working together? 156 00:05:46,354 --> 00:05:48,700 Or one original homicidal cricket 157 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,831 and then a copy cricket. 158 00:05:49,855 --> 00:05:52,328 Can I just throw out there that we probably just have 159 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,917 one regular human murderer 160 00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:56,040 and not two genius-level killer crickets. 161 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,838 You're letting your imagination run wild. 162 00:05:57,862 --> 00:06:01,880 You're not an executive story editor on the hit FOX drama Bones anymore. 163 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,091 This is real life. 164 00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:05,010 These are real people we're talking about, 165 00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:08,219 not characters played by the eminently watchable Emily Deschanel. 166 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,639 Are you even listening to me? 167 00:06:09,663 --> 00:06:11,639 No, if there's one thing I learned on Bones, 168 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,150 it's never get between Boreanaz and second dinner. 169 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,853 But another thing was: go with your gut. 170 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,917 And my gut says we gotta move fast. 171 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,442 Nate! Mwah! Mwah! 172 00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:24,402 Nate, you're back. I missed you. 173 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,279 Oh! Nate! Not in front of my family. 174 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,118 - We're back where we started? - Are we gonna die out here? 175 00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:29,240 Wait, I can't die yet! 176 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,326 We haven't even finished our camp story arc. 177 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,457 What happens with all that? 178 00:06:32,481 --> 00:06:34,454 That's not how life works, we're not on TV. 179 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,997 We're starving to death in the woods. 180 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,338 We don't have time to learn the value of sharing or whatever. 181 00:06:38,362 --> 00:06:40,793 So now instead of camp, it's just a lost in the woods story? 182 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,420 Would you stop trying to make it a story? 183 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,011 We are lost in the woods, though! 184 00:06:44,035 --> 00:06:46,090 Not for long, we have one more option. 185 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,471 It's typically reserved to survive the most barren, inhospitable planets, 186 00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:51,640 but desperate times call for desperate measures. 187 00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:53,014 Yumyulack, it's time. 188 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:53,725 - Ohh! - Are you sure? 189 00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:54,974 We're dying, we have to. 190 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,518 Uhh... what are you talking about? 191 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,144 The Emergency Urbanizer. 192 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,525 It's a life raft for the land. 193 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,898 We only have one of these, we can never do it again. 194 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,819 - Quit wasting time, Yumyulack. We all know the stakes. 195 00:07:03,843 --> 00:07:06,221 They've been tapped multiple times. Just do it. 196 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,144 The seven on that scrap of paper, 197 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,065 it's a clue. 198 00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:43,148 Our guy must live in Sector 7. I can feel it in my bones. 199 00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,609 Episode 21, never aired. 200 00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,317 Pre-empted by the killing of Bin Laden. 201 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,697 Good episode. Bobby Cannavale guest starred as a pimp. 202 00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:50,530 Wow, I didn't know crickets could use paper. 203 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,741 You see how smart they are? 204 00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:00,041 Bingo. Somebody killed some shit up in this piece. 205 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,421 Freeze! Get him! Get him! 206 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,005 Ah! 207 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,799 He was not! 208 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,720 Yuh-huh, he was totally reaching for something! 209 00:08:11,744 --> 00:08:12,927 We saved your life! 210 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,346 A "thank you" would be nice. 211 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,889 We could have brought him in alive! 212 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,850 - Wait, whoa, whoa. Wait, whoa! We didn't discuss that at all. 213 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,731 We thought we were supposed to staple him immediately. 214 00:08:20,755 --> 00:08:22,568 You should be happy your theory was right. 215 00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:25,482 It wasn't a cricket after all. And we got him! 216 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,317 - Woo-hoo-hoo! - Oh yeah! Ha ha ha! 217 00:08:28,052 --> 00:08:29,736 Who knows where the car is at this point? 218 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,029 It could take us days to find. 219 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,406 Holy guacamole! 220 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,782 What is this place? 221 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,783 It's complicated. 222 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,577 There's a tourist video station over there. 223 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,891 Come on, we'll go watch. 224 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,539 Howdy, I'm wood actor Wooden Harrelson, 225 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,046 star of the upcoming film 226 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,668 Now You Three Me: Escape from the Pokerverse. 227 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,837 Welcome to The Wooden City, 228 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,090 the most exciting, actually growing city in the world. 229 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,641 The Wooden City is just like a regular city, 230 00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,803 except algorithmically generated 231 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,931 from materials available in the woods. 232 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,182 Except the animals. 233 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,456 They are real, and they will kill you. 234 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,898 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an 8:30 at Dorsia. 235 00:09:04,922 --> 00:09:07,190 That's right, it's not all forest puns here. 236 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,570 The good news: we're not lost in the woods anymore. 237 00:09:09,594 --> 00:09:12,448 The bad news: we're now lost in a giant big wooden city. 238 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,248 We just need to make enough money to rent a car 239 00:09:16,272 --> 00:09:18,618 so we can drive back to where we parked our actual car 240 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,667 and get the hell out of here. 241 00:09:19,691 --> 00:09:21,871 - Let's split up and all get jobs. That way, it'll go faster. 242 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,956 But shouldn't we stick together? 243 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,416 No. It would be faster if we all went and got our own jobs 244 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,005 and made money as fast as possible. 245 00:09:27,029 --> 00:09:28,211 This isn't a game. It's survival. 246 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,462 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 247 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,549 Now the story isn't about camp or being lost in the woods, 248 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,509 it's about surviving in the big city? 249 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,261 Yeah, or it could be a Godzilla story, 250 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,387 so keep your eyes... open. 251 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,930 Okay, I have a ton of notes. 252 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,519 This is gonna be awesome! 253 00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:41,683 We're in the big city! 254 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,104 You can be anything you want out here: 255 00:09:43,128 --> 00:09:45,436 super hero, politician, orthodontist. 256 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,980 I'm going to be a famous ten-figure actor 257 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,190 and then maybe retire as a two-figure voice actor. 258 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,989 Come on, kid, what have you always wanted to be? 259 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:53,278 What's your craziest dream? Spill it, we're all havin' fun. 260 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,617 I have always wanted to work in fashion. 261 00:09:55,641 --> 00:09:58,533 I'm gonna work in finance because I've always wanted to be a shit head. 262 00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,576 That a boy, dream big. 263 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,455 Okay, you all have your big city stories now. 264 00:10:01,479 --> 00:10:04,539 Remember, we just need money to get a car to get to our car. 265 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,500 What are you gonna do? 266 00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:08,459 I-I don't know yet, so I'm just gonna walk around and look for a sign. 267 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,363 Everyone, meet back here tonight with all the money we've earned! 268 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,514 I wanted oak, not maple, you stupid birch. 269 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,558 Ah! Help me! 270 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:27,103 - You're fired. Have a... carried-off-by-a-hawk life. 271 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,188 - You! - Me? 272 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:29,567 You're my assistant now. 273 00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:31,357 Pick up those acorns and follow me. 274 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:31,988 Oh my god! 275 00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:33,507 Stop it! Ah! 276 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:38,948 Five million? I don't get outta bed for under ten, you stinky cock smoocher! 277 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,329 Wow, that is, without a doubt, the coolest guy I've ever seen. 278 00:10:42,353 --> 00:10:43,668 Even the statues are cool. 279 00:10:43,692 --> 00:10:45,935 Ah! 280 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,798 Ten million? I don't get outta bed for under five! 281 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,349 Wait, no. Ten million I will humbly accept. 282 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,805 Hey, dickless! 283 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,976 You the new kid? - Oh, uh... yeah? Yes. 284 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,538 Then pick up a fucking phone and make me some fucking money! 285 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,537 - Ayy, relax, kid. You done good. You done real good. 286 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:27,418 Why don't you come down and see me at the cab stand. 287 00:11:27,442 --> 00:11:29,107 We could use a kid like you. 288 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,545 Ever since I could remember, 289 00:11:31,569 --> 00:11:33,336 I wanted to be a gangster. 290 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,677 Uh, ahem. Hello... 291 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,120 Ah! 292 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:49,144 Aah! Oh man. He was like, "You shot me, bro!" 293 00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,688 - Ha ha ha, yeah. 'Cause you shot him! 294 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,527 That was so classic. Boom boom, you're dead. 295 00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,194 Yo, what's up your ass, hombre? 296 00:11:56,218 --> 00:11:57,610 You're a Wall hero again. 297 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,571 And just in time for Cherie Day! 298 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:00,947 Something doesn't feel right. 299 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,740 What doesn't feel right is you haven't had 300 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,001 enough fermented piss to celebrate! 301 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:12,208 Oh, I, um, just realized I left my favorite, uh, piss mug at home. 302 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,612 Aw, man, go get it! 303 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:21,176 ♪ They say love is blind when you're of a hive mind ♪ 304 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,386 ♪ But it's hard to find that honey ♪ 305 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,346 ♪ Since our numbers have declined ♪ 306 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,681 Next. 307 00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,391 You mean, like next round of auditions? 308 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,934 Typically, that's called a callback. 309 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,770 Or do you mean next step in the process which is what, wardrobe? 310 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,861 That's perfect because I have some thoughts on bees and wasps... 311 00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,276 No. I meant next audition. 312 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,109 You were wildly talentless in every way 313 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,819 except making us feel embarrassed for you. 314 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,488 Are you serious? 315 00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:44,577 I'm embarrassed for you that you can't see generational talent 316 00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:46,576 when it's right in front of your fuckin' faces! 317 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,415 Sweetie, the only chance you have at being referred to as "talent" 318 00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:50,955 is if you become a prostitute. 319 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,899 - A prostitute!? Ha! I would never. Do you hear me? Never! 320 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,836 It's not a blow job, sweetie. It's a blow career. 321 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,175 You can't just start at the top, you gotta, you... Hey! 322 00:12:59,199 --> 00:13:00,632 You wanna have some fun, sugar? 323 00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:02,842 - How much? - Uhh, ten grand an hour. 324 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:03,801 No fuckin' way... 325 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,595 - Fine, fine, fine, fine. Five hundred for two hours. 326 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,388 Hands and mouth only. Best and final. 327 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,672 A-a hundred an hour. Buy two, get six free. No holes barred. 328 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,770 A-a-alright, okay. Four bucks, clock's off, 329 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,569 you can pull my teeth out, bang me to Bethlehem, 330 00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:16,274 and leave me for dead. 331 00:13:16,298 --> 00:13:18,525 My one request is that you get me drunk first. 332 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,179 Or I can do it sober, whatever. 333 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,863 I guess that's just life in the big city, 334 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,427 would be the perfect line to say to launch into a montage. 335 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,461 Oh! Oh my god, it's happening! 336 00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,306 Nope, no, maybe, nope, no, 337 00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,220 too hippy, no, needs more brow, no, 338 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,930 kill yourself, kill me, this is brilliant, 339 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,397 get cancer, I love you, die in World War Z. 340 00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,059 Jesse, I don't know what to say. 341 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,607 Sorry for how things unfolded. 342 00:13:54,631 --> 00:13:56,773 If you would just let me explain. 343 00:13:56,797 --> 00:13:57,814 I'm ruined. 344 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,733 Have yourself a slapped-in-the-face evening. 345 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,489 Fifty million bottles of champagne 346 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,992 for our $50 million man! 347 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:12,620 Fifty million, that's what I'm talking about! 348 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,209 Get out. 349 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,347 All I wanted to do was get money to get a car to get to our car. 350 00:14:25,371 --> 00:14:26,509 Seemed so simple. 351 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,260 Aah! 352 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,891 And of course, you couldn't be bothered 353 00:14:30,915 --> 00:14:33,228 to attend Yumyulack Junior's christening 354 00:14:33,252 --> 00:14:36,519 'cause you're too busy putting your nose in a pile of cocaine 355 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,149 and your dick in a pile of crack cocaine! 356 00:14:39,173 --> 00:14:41,149 Okay, what if I did fuck crack cocaine? 357 00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,490 What difference would it make? 358 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,195 You don't know anything about me anymore, Cindeen! 359 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,575 I know one thing about you: You're about to be divorced! 360 00:14:48,599 --> 00:14:50,825 I wish I'd never bought this wooden penis! 361 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,120 Trip, the FBI's here but we're fine, right? 362 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,788 Nothing to worry about? Trip? 363 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,919 - Yeah, yeah, we're fine, bud. Don't even worry about it. 364 00:14:57,943 --> 00:14:59,876 Let 'em do their thing. It's all good. All good. 365 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,420 Oh my god, Trip! 366 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,341 Oh! 367 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,600 Alright, everyone. Don't panic. 368 00:15:06,624 --> 00:15:08,905 We're gonna beat this. We're gonna be just fine. 369 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:43,823 Ah! 370 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,566 Son of a bitch! 371 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:49,949 Ah, fuck! 372 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,472 Oh! 373 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,036 I'm trying to do a mafia story, you piece of shit! 374 00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:31,676 Freeze! 375 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:36,449 Oh, I simply adore your gown, Jesse. 376 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,288 You truly are the queen of Wooden City fashion. 377 00:17:39,312 --> 00:17:41,876 - Whatever. - Congrats on all your success. 378 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,725 Who gives a shit. 379 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:48,169 You guys came? It's good to see you. 380 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,379 How's everyone doing? 381 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,799 Me? Oh I'm doing great. 382 00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:52,966 Started a big hedge fund, got an office at the top 383 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,097 of the Squirrel Trade Center, 384 00:17:54,121 --> 00:17:55,260 played by the rules. 385 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,849 Nice guys finish first. What else can I say? 386 00:17:57,873 --> 00:17:59,681 No major issues personally or professionally. 387 00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:00,265 Ditto for me. 388 00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:03,186 Built myself a sweet little career in the customer service industry. 389 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,145 I'm my own boss so I set my own hours, 390 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,565 come and go as I please. 391 00:18:06,589 --> 00:18:08,857 Taking some risks with my attire, so be it. 392 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:10,277 Who the fuck are you to judge? 393 00:18:10,301 --> 00:18:11,943 - No judgments here. For I am... 394 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,486 - Bleeding? - Bleeding? No, this is, 395 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,196 uh, party sauce. 396 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,407 I'm doing great also, so don't question me. 397 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,117 Fell in with a great group of guys. 398 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,997 We mostly do, uh, construction. 399 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:23,288 My best friends are Jimmy The Trigger, Ronny Kills-A-Lot, 400 00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,812 and Guido The Stone Cold Psycho. 401 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,708 I'm very happy for you all. 402 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,378 Because, as you can see, 403 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:30,756 I've reached the pinnacle of the fashion world. 404 00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:33,715 All my dreams have come true, and I've never been happier. 405 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,949 I love it here. End of story. 406 00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,307 Well, I think I'm gonna take off. 407 00:18:39,331 --> 00:18:41,139 Yeah, I have a really important sales cum... 408 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,308 I mean, conference balls... 409 00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:43,478 no, I mean a team skeeting... 410 00:18:43,502 --> 00:18:44,767 uh, shaftholder meeting... 411 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,396 I mean, my shattered ass is healing... 412 00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,025 Bleh, I'm shattering the glass ceiling. 413 00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:49,105 I should go as well. 414 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,191 I'm pretty heavily party saucing. 415 00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:52,108 L-losing strength... 416 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:52,989 Wait! Guys! 417 00:18:53,013 --> 00:18:56,529 The truth is, it may look like I'm doing well on the outside, 418 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,364 but I'm very lonely. 419 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,074 I miss you guys. 420 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,744 I know we're all deep into our separate lives, 421 00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:05,246 but I'd like it if you could stay. 422 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,289 I mean, just for a little. 423 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,210 To be honest, I flew too close to the sun. 424 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,668 By which I mean committed several financial crimes. 425 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,298 Plus I got divorced, company got raided by the FBI, 426 00:19:13,322 --> 00:19:15,131 and all my coworkers killed themselves. 427 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:15,965 I'm hurt real bad. 428 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,718 I just wanted to be a gangster, but I kept getting attacked by wolves. 429 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,059 I know this may come as a huge shock, but I haven't been honest either. 430 00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:24,434 I'm a sex worker, and I let lonely tree men pay to fuck me. 431 00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:27,227 We got so wrapped up surviving in the big city, 432 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:29,521 getting sucked into our new lives, 433 00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:32,524 but are any of us really happy? 434 00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:35,318 I was happier when we were just a regular alien team. 435 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,570 Not just a team, a team family. 436 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,991 We all lost sight of our goal: 437 00:19:39,015 --> 00:19:40,990 making enough money to get back to our old life 438 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,661 so we could all be together again. 439 00:19:42,685 --> 00:19:45,330 We've picked our path, and we can never go home again. 440 00:19:45,354 --> 00:19:47,442 - Um, guys? The city's on fire. 441 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,999 Jesus Christ, it's that flaming wolf that ran off! 442 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,630 We have to go home! - Wait a second. 443 00:19:51,654 --> 00:19:53,628 Is that our car? Way out there in the distance? 444 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,969 Quick, before we burn alive! 445 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:14,876 - Bye, camp! I'll miss you! See you next summer! 446 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,364 Ah. This is nice. 447 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,950 I may have overreacted to you two being home from school. 448 00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,751 Sometimes it's not awful to share the house with you. 449 00:20:26,775 --> 00:20:28,121 Yes, we did it! 450 00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:30,165 The Solar Opposites emotionally arced! 451 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,374 Now that's a-story! 452 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,458 Fuck you. No, it wasn't. 453 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,668 No, wait, w-we did arc! 454 00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,757 I-I'm proud of all of us. 455 00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,796 Just in time because we go back to school tomorrow. 456 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,466 - Oh really? Th-th-that's a bummer. 457 00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:42,135 See, I knew you'd come around and want to spend more time with us! 458 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,724 Oh no, it's a bummer because I thought summer was two more months 459 00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:45,805 and I already poisoned you. 460 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,557 Ah, geez, I'll get the antidote. 461 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:50,188 The mysterious wooden city that recently appeared out of nowhere 462 00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:51,978 tragically burned to the ground last week 463 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,276 in a fire experts are calling inevitable. 464 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,649 I gotta be honest, I feel bad The Wooden City is gone. 465 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,240 They had a really good Arby's... 466 00:20:58,264 --> 00:20:59,736 to get fucked in. 467 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,822 It's for the best. The Wooden City turned us into our worst selves. 468 00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,073 We're lucky it's gone forever... 469 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:04,994 But miraculously, 470 00:21:05,018 --> 00:21:07,368 it has grown back stronger than ever before 471 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,079 and will now be hosting the Summer Olympics in 2028. 472 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,080 - Wait, what'd they say? - Nothing! 473 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,459 Nobody's going back to The Wooden City. 474 00:21:12,483 --> 00:21:14,086 Now go to your room and take your antidote! 475 00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:15,317 Honestly, it might be too late. 476 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,050 Ah. It's so peaceful here in the woods. 477 00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:24,010 - Finally, some peace and quiet. Am I right? 478 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:26,888 You know, without summer break, we would have never found this condo. 479 00:21:27,793 --> 00:21:29,766 Sometimes life finds a way. 480 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:32,816 Shit, a moose! 481 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,915 - Terry, run! - It's got me! It hurts! No! 482 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,524 Oh Jesus, fuck, it bit my leg off! 483 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,236 Oh, it stinks! 484 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,867 You never really know how bad moose stinks! 485 00:21:42,891 --> 00:21:44,716 Oh, it stinks like shit!