1 00:00:09,111 --> 00:00:10,797 This place is amazing. 2 00:00:10,821 --> 00:00:13,468 How do they keep incrementally improving products year after year? 3 00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:15,637 Oh. The Apple Pencil Pro is far superior 4 00:00:15,661 --> 00:00:18,179 to last year's disgusting, obsolete Apple Pencil. 5 00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:19,430 The new one can write in cursive. 6 00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:22,060 I literally saw Emily Dickinson writing poetry with it 7 00:00:22,084 --> 00:00:24,606 in the Apple TV+ show Dickinson on my Apple TV! 8 00:00:24,630 --> 00:00:27,313 Oh, they have a U2 branded Wi-Fi router? 9 00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,523 Wow! It's red! 10 00:00:28,547 --> 00:00:30,233 For every four bars of signal you get, 11 00:00:30,257 --> 00:00:32,485 Bono sends a pair of shoes to a sea turtle. 12 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,028 Hey there, you looking for a repair... 13 00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:36,367 Fetch me an Apple Pencil Pro, Apple servant. 14 00:00:36,391 --> 00:00:38,366 - You got it. You want a charging necklace too? 15 00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:40,705 The pencil runs out of batteries very fa... 16 00:00:40,729 --> 00:00:42,787 Get away from me! Wee! 17 00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:44,080 Help! - Oh my god, Pete, you okay? 18 00:00:44,104 --> 00:00:47,250 These are the psycho aliens that tortured me in their dungeon! 19 00:00:47,274 --> 00:00:49,961 That's impossible. We turned our dungeon into a Florida room. 20 00:00:49,985 --> 00:00:52,005 Yeah, we've never even met this fuckin' freak show! 21 00:00:52,029 --> 00:00:53,715 Hello, sir, I'm... - Don't touch me! 22 00:00:53,739 --> 00:00:55,425 Siri, call the cops! 23 00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:57,594 Playing Destiny's Child. 24 00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:03,641 That's them! 25 00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:09,734 He doesn't have a hole. 26 00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:11,524 We'll just have to make one. 27 00:01:11,886 --> 00:01:13,006 Hey, how's it going? 28 00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:18,394 The Solar Opposites are going to jail! 29 00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:21,519 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia 30 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:23,350 until the asteroid hit. 31 00:01:24,645 --> 00:01:26,956 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 32 00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:29,045 and escaped into, uh, the space, 33 00:01:29,069 --> 00:01:31,396 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 34 00:01:32,152 --> 00:01:35,089 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 35 00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:36,848 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 36 00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:38,593 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 37 00:01:38,617 --> 00:01:41,014 This is, this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 38 00:01:41,038 --> 00:01:42,430 This is ridiculous. 39 00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:44,349 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 40 00:01:44,373 --> 00:01:45,850 People are stupid and confusing. 41 00:01:45,874 --> 00:01:47,479 Do they like Brendan Fraser or not? 42 00:01:47,503 --> 00:01:49,068 He's a good guy. Give him a chance. 43 00:02:03,392 --> 00:02:05,328 Chris Cicowski, 35. 44 00:02:05,352 --> 00:02:07,288 Mandy Sinclair, 28. 45 00:02:07,312 --> 00:02:09,332 Jeffrey Dean Dorgan, 33. 46 00:02:09,356 --> 00:02:12,043 Agnes Peterbort, 75 years old. 47 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,878 Tomorrow would have been her birthday. 48 00:02:13,902 --> 00:02:16,756 Cool list, bro. I take my coffee with a splash of mouse milk. 49 00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,677 Then maybe you don't understand what's happening here. 50 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:19,717 You're done. 51 00:02:19,741 --> 00:02:21,098 I know you killed all those people, 52 00:02:21,122 --> 00:02:24,224 I was an executive story editor on Bones seasons five through nine 53 00:02:24,248 --> 00:02:27,684 and let me tell you, friend, that's a season wrap on Ethan! 54 00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:30,855 Aw. You never even got a bump to co-producer? Pathetic. 55 00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:33,064 I bet they just stuck you in the Bones joke room. 56 00:02:33,088 --> 00:02:35,694 We didn't have a joke room, it was an innuendo room. 57 00:02:35,718 --> 00:02:37,694 And I was only there for the back nine. 58 00:02:39,261 --> 00:02:41,239 If you ever want to see the halogen reptile lamp 59 00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:44,078 that Yumyulack uses to simulate the light of day again, 60 00:02:44,102 --> 00:02:45,535 you better start cooperating. 61 00:02:45,559 --> 00:02:48,496 Buddy, you got it all wrong. 62 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,957 I'm going to be walking out of here, and you're not. 63 00:02:50,981 --> 00:02:53,546 You think Tim and the Walldermen are just gonna let you go? 64 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:56,045 - Oh yeah, babe. Without me, Tim is nothing. 65 00:02:56,069 --> 00:02:58,298 Nada, zero, zilch. 66 00:02:58,322 --> 00:03:01,847 Oh wow, I didn't realize I was talking to someone so important. 67 00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:05,096 You think Jesse gives us CLIF bars, chewable Tylenol, and Dasani water? 68 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,556 Come on. 69 00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:09,767 All that protein and medicine that you're used to? 70 00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:10,438 This guy. 71 00:03:10,462 --> 00:03:13,274 So I'm supposed to believe you're killing people during the week, 72 00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,857 then turning big and running errands on the weekends? 73 00:03:15,881 --> 00:03:17,108 Oh my god, you're so stupid. 74 00:03:17,132 --> 00:03:19,616 Listen, there is a hole in the top of the Wall. 75 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,446 It's been there since before the war. 76 00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,785 The Duke would use it to bring in extra supplies 77 00:03:23,809 --> 00:03:25,408 to keep control of the population. 78 00:03:25,432 --> 00:03:27,539 A top-secret hole that we could use to escape, huh? 79 00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:30,413 You have quite the imagination, murderer. 80 00:03:30,437 --> 00:03:32,582 Broheim had an Amazon Fresh subscription. 81 00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:35,003 They'd throw the deliveries on the roof, then I'd just climb out and I'd get ‘em. 82 00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:37,503 Now I do the same thing for my close personal friend, Tim. 83 00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,218 I'm sick of this bullshit! 84 00:03:40,242 --> 00:03:43,468 There's no hole in the Wall, and I won't let you drag Tim's good name. 85 00:03:43,492 --> 00:03:46,098 In the beforefore time, I was a rock climbing instructor 86 00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:47,430 at Bally's Total Fitness. 87 00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:49,647 Outside the Wall, the only thing I used to murder 88 00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:51,142 was indoor climbing walls. 89 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,352 And I care why? 90 00:03:52,376 --> 00:03:55,023 Once I got in here, I had so much temptation, 91 00:03:55,047 --> 00:03:58,505 you know, so many potential victims, and no rock climbing to distract me. 92 00:03:58,924 --> 00:04:01,701 At first, I was going to kill myself. That way, I wouldn't murder anyone. 93 00:04:01,725 --> 00:04:04,178 But then you saved me. 94 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,658 - What? - Oh, you don't remember, do you? 95 00:04:06,682 --> 00:04:09,942 I am the one who started the flooding of the Nerds. 96 00:04:13,397 --> 00:04:18,067 My plan was to die in that Nerd pile and finally escape my impulses. 97 00:04:20,612 --> 00:04:23,216 But then you saved me. 98 00:04:29,496 --> 00:04:31,975 - Oh my god. - That's when I knew I was special. 99 00:04:31,999 --> 00:04:34,852 You saved me so I could fulfill my destiny. 100 00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:36,187 I'm a god! 101 00:04:36,211 --> 00:04:37,981 - Shut up! - I'm a god! 102 00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:41,359 Let's go. Let's get in here. 103 00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:42,490 Let's do this. - Welp, that's my ride. 104 00:04:42,514 --> 00:04:44,445 Okay, let's say there is some big conspiracy 105 00:04:44,469 --> 00:04:45,905 to help you kill innocent people. 106 00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:49,200 But now you've told me the whole plan, Mr. Total Fitness. 107 00:04:49,224 --> 00:04:50,285 So what happens next? 108 00:04:50,309 --> 00:04:52,454 I don't know, they'll probably just come in here and kill you 109 00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:53,663 and then blame it on a cricket. 110 00:04:53,687 --> 00:04:56,334 What? How the hell do you know about the cricket? 111 00:04:56,358 --> 00:04:58,418 These guys aren't exactly creative geniuses. 112 00:04:58,442 --> 00:05:01,045 They always just blame it on a cricket. 113 00:05:02,571 --> 00:05:04,465 Has anyone mistreated you since you got here? 114 00:05:04,489 --> 00:05:06,509 I'm not saying anything until our lawyer gets here. 115 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:07,969 Oh my god, I'm your lawyer. 116 00:05:07,993 --> 00:05:09,470 How many times do we have to go over this? 117 00:05:09,494 --> 00:05:11,347 Objection, overruled, I rest my case. 118 00:05:11,371 --> 00:05:13,016 - This isn't even the trial... forget it. 119 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,687 Let me walk you through the accusations, 120 00:05:14,711 --> 00:05:17,145 and I gotta say, they seem very specific. 121 00:05:17,169 --> 00:05:20,273 According to Peter, the, uh, Okja-type character, 122 00:05:20,297 --> 00:05:21,900 this all started off when Korvo got annoyed 123 00:05:21,924 --> 00:05:24,407 at an annual Rib Fest-style block party 124 00:05:24,431 --> 00:05:26,112 on the street outside your house... 125 00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:31,659 Pupa, put those delicious ribs down! 126 00:05:31,683 --> 00:05:33,290 Goddammit, I hate this stupid Rib Fest. 127 00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:35,707 There's nowhere to park, they play rib jams all day, 128 00:05:35,731 --> 00:05:38,458 and some guy who's not me always wins the "Best Ribs" competition! 129 00:05:38,482 --> 00:05:40,168 Why can't Korvo be a winner for once? 130 00:05:40,192 --> 00:05:42,219 You know, Korvo, you could take some barbecue classes 131 00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:45,048 at The Learning Annex or watch some YouTube videos, 132 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:46,136 chefnap Paula Deen... 133 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,843 Kidnapping people takes too long, I'll just use sci-fi shit! 134 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:51,554 The prosecution claims Korvo created a giant pig thing 135 00:05:51,578 --> 00:05:53,806 that self-cooked racks of award-winning ribs 136 00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:54,687 out of its chest, 137 00:05:54,711 --> 00:05:57,227 whose blood tasted like delicious barbecue sauce, 138 00:05:57,251 --> 00:05:59,771 and when struck "shat out all the fixins." 139 00:05:59,795 --> 00:06:01,814 Dammit, that does sound like something I would do. 140 00:06:01,838 --> 00:06:03,524 Right down to the "fixin'" shits. 141 00:06:03,548 --> 00:06:05,568 Where am I? Wh-what am I? 142 00:06:05,592 --> 00:06:08,112 Are you my dad? Wee! Help! 143 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,364 Ohh! 144 00:06:09,388 --> 00:06:11,783 Whoa-oh! Oh! - Mm, that's good rib. 145 00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,637 Could use a little barbecue sauce though. 146 00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:15,537 Oh no! 147 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:17,997 Korvo won five straight Rib Fest gold medals, 148 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:21,628 dethroning Lizzo's cousin, Ribbo, as the Rib Fest champion. 149 00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:22,755 Please let me go. 150 00:06:22,779 --> 00:06:25,880 Hold still, I need a potluck worth of your shit for a church event tonight. 151 00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:29,179 Korvo, wait! I need Peter to help me with my math homework. 152 00:06:29,203 --> 00:06:31,305 He's not going to be able to focus if he's screaming. 153 00:06:31,329 --> 00:06:33,388 What's the X in this equation? Tell me! 154 00:06:33,412 --> 00:06:34,559 Hi, guys! Are we having a... 155 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,140 Oh my god, what's that? 156 00:06:36,164 --> 00:06:38,770 Please, little girl! These guys are crazy. You gotta help me! 157 00:06:38,794 --> 00:06:40,542 Don't worry, little guy. Jesse's here. 158 00:06:40,836 --> 00:06:42,272 You have to let him go! 159 00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:45,024 You can't just keep a creature trapped in your basement and torture it. 160 00:06:45,048 --> 00:06:48,115 You clearly don't understand how important it is to win rib contests. 161 00:06:48,139 --> 00:06:49,946 Ohhh! Oh! 162 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:51,906 Oh god! 163 00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:53,658 Guys! Come watch me do donuts on the front lawn! 164 00:06:53,682 --> 00:06:56,038 I finally figured out how to do it. Turns out it's a circle! 165 00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,229 - Awesome! - Alright. 166 00:07:03,984 --> 00:07:05,129 Fuck you, lawn! Woo! 167 00:07:05,153 --> 00:07:06,509 Yeah-hey! Woo! 168 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:09,090 Peter escaped while you were distracted by the donuts. 169 00:07:09,114 --> 00:07:11,848 He spent a few nights in the woods, then he moved on with his life, 170 00:07:11,872 --> 00:07:13,553 got his MFA in interpretive dance, 171 00:07:13,577 --> 00:07:15,889 couldn't find work, duh, so he got a job at the Apple Store 172 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,765 with all the other people who have MFAs. 173 00:07:17,789 --> 00:07:19,894 Okay, look: full disclosure, that story really did sound 174 00:07:19,918 --> 00:07:21,269 like something we would do, r-right? 175 00:07:21,293 --> 00:07:23,438 Yeah, I mean, it feels like something we'd pitch to Hulu 176 00:07:23,462 --> 00:07:25,398 and they'd say, "We don't understand it but go for it." 177 00:07:25,422 --> 00:07:26,900 But I don't remember any of it. 178 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,661 I never went to a Rib Fest or met this delicious rib-looking Peter guy. 179 00:07:29,685 --> 00:07:31,946 Yeah, just because the story "sounded like us" 180 00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:33,072 doesn't mean we did it. 181 00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,240 Yeah, we're good people. 182 00:07:34,264 --> 00:07:36,119 Remember that time we turned that homeless guy's blood 183 00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:36,998 into Vitamin Water? 184 00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:38,786 O-o-or when we killed millions of bees 185 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:39,917 so people wouldn't get stung? 186 00:07:39,941 --> 00:07:42,373 Yeah, we invented vaping, that has to count for something! 187 00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:43,794 - You're both right. We're great. 188 00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:45,543 This was one hundred percent not us! 189 00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:47,670 Well, Peter is a convincing witness. 190 00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:49,591 Plus he's a big alien thing and you're aliens, 191 00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:51,466 so it's not hard to think that you did this. 192 00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:52,800 What does that mean for us? 193 00:07:52,824 --> 00:07:54,594 It means you're fucked. 194 00:07:58,288 --> 00:08:00,266 This is your last chance to let me go, buddy. 195 00:08:00,290 --> 00:08:01,976 Here they... they're coming, do you feel 'em? 196 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,728 Do you feel 'em? They're coming. It's all over for you. Get ready. 197 00:08:03,752 --> 00:08:04,462 Oh, that hurt. 198 00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:07,815 Halk. Calm down, big guy, don't do anything crazy. 199 00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:09,359 Just put the Ring Pop knife down. 200 00:08:09,383 --> 00:08:11,152 - Stay back! - Let me kill him, please! 201 00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:12,528 - What are you doing? - He's the killer! 202 00:08:12,552 --> 00:08:14,364 The 7 was an L, it was upside-down. 203 00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:15,698 He lived in a fortune cookie. 204 00:08:15,722 --> 00:08:16,789 Wait, what are you talking about? 205 00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,534 If you caught the real killer, then great! 206 00:08:18,558 --> 00:08:20,914 But if you kill him, it'll just make you a killer too. 207 00:08:20,938 --> 00:08:23,373 Stay back! Don't take another fuckin' step. 208 00:08:24,815 --> 00:08:26,292 You know, I bet prison isn't all that bad. 209 00:08:26,316 --> 00:08:28,962 All I have to do is bide my time until I go to the Sorting Hat. 210 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:29,796 You know what I'm saying, my man? 211 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:32,799 You're confusing prison with the Harry Potter movies. 212 00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:35,098 Don't make assumptions about people, he might've read the books. 213 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:36,344 Fuck you! Even if he had, 214 00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:38,972 he couldn't avoid the cultural impact of the movies! 215 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,598 Come on, you won't fight me! 216 00:08:40,622 --> 00:08:43,212 Aah! Does this mean I don't get to be in Hufflepuff? 217 00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:44,936 Aah! Ow! 218 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,050 Ow! God! 219 00:08:47,671 --> 00:08:48,568 What the fuck! 220 00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:52,154 Oh no, please tell me you got a backup crack pipe inside that butt. 221 00:08:52,178 --> 00:08:54,445 How does everyone in this prison have so many shivs? 222 00:08:54,469 --> 00:08:57,325 Well, they teach a shiv-making class on weekends. 223 00:08:57,349 --> 00:08:59,075 - Why? - Yumyulack, you know what they say: 224 00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:01,416 give a man a shiv, he shivs for a day. 225 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,162 Now, teach a man to shiv... 226 00:09:03,186 --> 00:09:04,581 Ugh, this place is horrible. 227 00:09:04,605 --> 00:09:05,748 There's hardly any sushi, 228 00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:07,500 the guy making the sushi is a rapist, 229 00:09:07,524 --> 00:09:09,961 and he charges you airport prices right before he shivs you. 230 00:09:09,985 --> 00:09:12,338 - This is fucking bullshit. I know we didn't do this to Peter. 231 00:09:12,362 --> 00:09:15,383 We're nice, Pupa-fearing, Fox News-believing members of society. 232 00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:16,426 How did we get here then? 233 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:19,178 - There's only one explanation. The Solar Opposites are getting set up. 234 00:09:20,454 --> 00:09:21,849 Someone wanted to take us down. 235 00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:23,600 It's a conspiracy, and we can't trust anyone. 236 00:09:23,624 --> 00:09:25,857 Oh! You think Peter's the mastermind? 237 00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:28,438 - No way! Peter's the best. He has the face and ribs of an angel. 238 00:09:28,462 --> 00:09:31,239 How could you say that about Peter after everything he's been through? 239 00:09:31,263 --> 00:09:33,026 Seriously, Terry, go fuck yourself. 240 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,570 If sweet angel Peter didn't do it, who did? 241 00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:37,950 Is there someone in our world we offended in some way? 242 00:09:37,974 --> 00:09:41,328 Um, last week Yumyulack and I didn't want to take a history test, 243 00:09:41,352 --> 00:09:44,329 so we used the Bone Changer Ray to turn Ms. Frankie's bones into metal 244 00:09:44,353 --> 00:09:45,330 like Marvel's Wolverine. 245 00:09:46,155 --> 00:09:48,293 - What's happening to me? Argh! - Hello, sweetie! 246 00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:50,960 Did you forget to take your keys out of your pocket again? 247 00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,799 - Jesus, that's grim. It must have been Ms. Frankie. 248 00:09:56,823 --> 00:09:59,793 Well, hold on, there was also this thing with Roland last Tuesday... 249 00:10:00,118 --> 00:10:01,512 I just watched Toy Story 4, 250 00:10:01,536 --> 00:10:03,683 and I thought it would be fun to make someone's toys come alive. 251 00:10:03,707 --> 00:10:05,934 So I zapped this guy's stuff with our Make-Alive Ray. 252 00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,978 Live, motherfuckers, live! 253 00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:10,980 - Why is my stuff alive? What's happening? 254 00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:15,109 - That's messed up, Terry. But another viable suspect. 255 00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:16,657 It could also be Matthew. - Who? 256 00:10:16,681 --> 00:10:19,113 He's the neighborhood fuckboi who hates me for no reason. 257 00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:20,365 He's kind of my nemesis. 258 00:10:20,389 --> 00:10:23,076 Matthew told me I wasn't allowed to wear Christ-mas sweaters 259 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,869 because I don't know anything about Christ-mas, 260 00:10:24,893 --> 00:10:26,103 whatever the fuck that is. 261 00:10:26,311 --> 00:10:28,811 So I decided to shoot him with the sci-fi holiday cannon. 262 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,377 Oh! 263 00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:32,835 Oh god! No! 264 00:10:32,859 --> 00:10:34,359 I can't feel my soul! 265 00:10:35,362 --> 00:10:37,677 Who doesn't know about Christ-mas now, you fuck? 266 00:10:37,701 --> 00:10:41,010 Okay, wow, we just flashed back to three really good options 267 00:10:41,034 --> 00:10:42,053 for who's framing us. 268 00:10:42,077 --> 00:10:43,930 Honestly, there could be dozens of hundreds more. 269 00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,390 Guys, stop. Think about it. 270 00:10:45,414 --> 00:10:47,438 There's no way humans could do this. 271 00:10:47,462 --> 00:10:50,186 They're dumb as fuck. - Yum's right, they hella dumb. 272 00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:51,437 They're so budget. 273 00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:53,608 Jesse, stop trying to make budget the new basic. 274 00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:55,777 But yes, in this one instance, they are budget. 275 00:10:55,801 --> 00:10:57,445 But someone did this to us. 276 00:10:57,469 --> 00:10:59,445 Someone who's smart, powerful, handsome, 277 00:10:59,469 --> 00:11:01,447 loves animals, has cheek bones for days, 278 00:11:01,471 --> 00:11:02,907 lots of time on their hands. 279 00:11:02,931 --> 00:11:04,576 Who could it be? 280 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,369 - Obama! - Dora the Explorer! 281 00:11:06,393 --> 00:11:08,790 Yes, Obama! The pride of Occidental College. 282 00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:12,000 Motherfucker's been on our shit ever since we out-windsurfed him in Cabo. 283 00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:13,801 We have to break out of prison and clear our names. 284 00:11:13,825 --> 00:11:17,277 Hooray! The Solar Opposites are staging a breakout! 285 00:11:20,616 --> 00:11:22,026 - Pupa, you up? - Yes! 286 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,005 Ta-da! 287 00:11:39,384 --> 00:11:40,894 Pupa! 288 00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,076 - Yes! - Yes! 289 00:11:48,518 --> 00:11:50,938 - Alright, the cops are after us. That's enough Shawshank-ing. 290 00:11:51,897 --> 00:11:54,209 Wait, what the hell are these? 291 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,543 Oh god. Oh no. 292 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:56,462 We've got you surrounded! 293 00:11:56,486 --> 00:11:57,462 Come out with your hands up! 294 00:11:57,486 --> 00:11:59,214 Come on, Korvo! Let's grab our stuff and get out of here! 295 00:11:59,238 --> 00:12:01,507 - No, no, no! Look at the ribbons! And the certificates! 296 00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:02,886 Look at the fucking trophies! 297 00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:04,677 But I thought you didn't win any rib contests? 298 00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:06,058 We all must have erased our minds. 299 00:12:06,082 --> 00:12:07,847 We did do all that horrible stuff to Pete. 300 00:12:07,871 --> 00:12:09,974 Oh god. We're monsters! 301 00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:12,477 No way, we're always using sci-fi stuff to help people! 302 00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,646 - No, we don't. We're cowards and sneaky shits 303 00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:16,237 who use sci-fi to make our lives easier. 304 00:12:16,261 --> 00:12:18,942 No one was setting us up, we really just are horrible people, 305 00:12:18,966 --> 00:12:19,817 I mean, aliens. 306 00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:21,569 Guys, this is your final warning 307 00:12:21,593 --> 00:12:23,821 before things get all pew-pew-pew. 308 00:12:23,845 --> 00:12:25,198 Wait, what? People don't get tha... 309 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,409 Okay, just to be clear, 310 00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:29,287 pew-pew-pew means we're gonna be shooting bullets out of guns, 311 00:12:29,311 --> 00:12:30,915 not Star Wars lasers. 312 00:12:30,939 --> 00:12:32,121 You guys got that, right? 313 00:12:32,145 --> 00:12:34,707 Look, we're guilty of a lot, but we can pay the price for Peter. 314 00:12:34,731 --> 00:12:36,709 We have to let ourselves get arrested and go back to prison. 315 00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:41,005 Hooray! The Solar Opposites are taking responsibility! 316 00:12:42,114 --> 00:12:43,759 Don't shoot, we-we-we-we're coming out. 317 00:12:43,783 --> 00:12:45,122 Hold your pew-pews! 318 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,457 - Tim! - What the hell? 319 00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:12,245 Halk Hogam, what are you doing here? 320 00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,376 We need to talk! 321 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,457 Of course, anything for a hero of Wall War I. 322 00:13:16,481 --> 00:13:18,209 - Don't listen to him, Tim. He's gone crazy. 323 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,669 He's trying to ruin Cherie Day! 324 00:13:19,693 --> 00:13:20,798 I've caught the real murderer. 325 00:13:20,822 --> 00:13:23,047 He claims he's some kind of runner who goes outside the Wall 326 00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:24,257 for celery sticks and gum. 327 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,428 He says you and the Walldermen protect him. 328 00:13:26,452 --> 00:13:28,595 - What the hell? You told me it was a cricket. 329 00:13:28,619 --> 00:13:30,430 That's the line they were trying to feed me, too. 330 00:13:30,454 --> 00:13:33,729 So this is the man who's been terrorizing my utopia? 331 00:13:33,753 --> 00:13:35,143 Yes. You assholes, 332 00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:36,728 I told you Tim would want justice! 333 00:13:36,752 --> 00:13:39,480 - My sweet Ethan. You're supposed to help me. 334 00:13:39,504 --> 00:13:41,860 What did you do, you stupid boy? - Wait, what? 335 00:13:41,884 --> 00:13:44,360 I've been making the Wall a better place for all of us! 336 00:13:44,384 --> 00:13:46,571 You knew? 337 00:13:46,595 --> 00:13:48,595 I've known Ethan for a long time. 338 00:13:49,056 --> 00:13:51,159 And yes, there is a hole in the Wall. 339 00:13:51,183 --> 00:13:52,523 There is a way out. 340 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:57,290 - My god. - Ethan does runs for me. 341 00:13:57,314 --> 00:14:00,339 He gets medicine, food, using a system the Duke set up. 342 00:14:00,363 --> 00:14:02,170 But I didn't know he was killing people. 343 00:14:02,194 --> 00:14:04,259 I was just exerting my will as a god! 344 00:14:04,283 --> 00:14:06,799 Hey, would you tell him, you guys, that I'm a god? 345 00:14:06,823 --> 00:14:08,635 You guys knew this was happening? 346 00:14:08,659 --> 00:14:10,554 We were just doing what we thought you would want. 347 00:14:10,578 --> 00:14:12,013 We wanted to shield you from the truth 348 00:14:12,037 --> 00:14:13,640 so you could focus on leading us all. 349 00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:16,634 What you've done goes against everything we've fought for! 350 00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:19,356 But I know your hearts are in the right place. 351 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,605 I won't punish you. - What? 352 00:14:20,629 --> 00:14:22,190 That's not the way of the Wall. 353 00:14:22,214 --> 00:14:23,859 - Fuck no! They can't just walk away! 354 00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:24,909 - Thank you, Tim. - Thank you for your mercy, Tim. 355 00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:26,694 But, Ethan, we have to lock you up. 356 00:14:26,718 --> 00:14:27,987 It's for your own good, my son. 357 00:14:28,011 --> 00:14:29,239 You can't lock me up! 358 00:14:29,263 --> 00:14:31,787 'Cause I'll just escape and I'll kill all of you! 359 00:14:31,811 --> 00:14:32,867 Because I am a god. 360 00:14:32,891 --> 00:14:35,078 Halk, please let Ethan go with the Walldermen. 361 00:14:35,102 --> 00:14:37,652 You have my word: he won't hurt anyone else. 362 00:14:40,065 --> 00:14:41,209 Ow! 363 00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:43,153 Take him to the holding chamber. 364 00:14:45,028 --> 00:14:47,175 I can get out of anything. 365 00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:48,907 I command you to release me! 366 00:14:49,491 --> 00:14:51,094 Ow, let me go! 367 00:14:53,704 --> 00:14:54,714 What's that? 368 00:14:55,247 --> 00:14:56,474 Tim! What are you doing? 369 00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:59,018 - Take the carb out, man! Let us out! 370 00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:02,188 I can't. You let Ethan get away with sullying the Wall. 371 00:15:02,212 --> 00:15:04,274 The blood is on all your tiny hands. 372 00:15:04,298 --> 00:15:05,758 Farewell, my friends. 373 00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:10,863 Oh no, Magic Shell! 374 00:15:15,058 --> 00:15:17,203 Not like this! No! 375 00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:18,623 No, no, no, no, no, Tim! 376 00:15:18,647 --> 00:15:21,291 Tim, I can stop killing! I'm, I'm better now! 377 00:15:21,315 --> 00:15:23,793 No, no, no! 378 00:15:31,742 --> 00:15:32,888 I had no choice. 379 00:15:32,912 --> 00:15:35,138 They were part of the old way, part of the problem. 380 00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:37,939 But you, Halk, you can be part of the solution. 381 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:39,058 Walk with me. 382 00:15:39,082 --> 00:15:40,729 Even if you didn't know Ethan was a killer, 383 00:15:40,753 --> 00:15:43,438 you've kept the secret of the hole this entire time. 384 00:15:43,462 --> 00:15:44,989 I'm not asking you to give me your trust, 385 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:47,108 but I owe you the truth, 386 00:15:47,132 --> 00:15:48,109 all of it. 387 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:50,263 Hear me out, and then you can decide what you want to do. 388 00:15:54,056 --> 00:15:56,284 Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, Jesse. 389 00:15:56,308 --> 00:15:58,369 I find you guilty on all counts. 390 00:15:58,393 --> 00:16:00,455 I recommend you to be put to death. 391 00:16:00,479 --> 00:16:01,876 If anyone has an issue with this, 392 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:05,043 speak now or forever hold your pe-ace. 393 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:07,670 I have something to say. 394 00:16:07,694 --> 00:16:09,511 Terry, the replicants, and I have talked it over, 395 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,175 and we believe that we should, in fact, be sentenced to death. 396 00:16:12,199 --> 00:16:13,094 We, we deserve it. 397 00:16:13,118 --> 00:16:15,486 Also, "speak now or forever hold your peace" is for weddings. 398 00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:19,228 Folks, I didn't win the hit ABC reality show America's Sexiest Judge 399 00:16:19,252 --> 00:16:21,476 just to be disrespected in my own court space. 400 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,519 Now for the deets on the execush... 401 00:16:23,543 --> 00:16:24,803 Stop. 402 00:16:25,837 --> 00:16:29,234 I believe the Solar Opposites don't deserve to die. 403 00:16:29,258 --> 00:16:30,235 Whoa! 404 00:16:30,259 --> 00:16:32,070 Whoa, I did not see that coming. 405 00:16:32,094 --> 00:16:34,450 It was that big rib monster they trapped in the basement. 406 00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:35,740 But I had to keep it cool. 407 00:16:35,764 --> 00:16:37,538 I mean, I was the sexy judge. 408 00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:38,743 Speak your truth, homie. 409 00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:41,414 Yes, they are really, really terrible people, 410 00:16:41,438 --> 00:16:44,249 which is why they deserve something worse than the death penalty. 411 00:16:44,273 --> 00:16:46,629 If they die, they'll only suffer for a moment. 412 00:16:46,653 --> 00:16:48,628 But if they live, they'll have to suffer the guilt 413 00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:50,298 of what they've done forever. 414 00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:52,298 - Oh, we can do that. I feel totes guilty. 415 00:16:52,322 --> 00:16:54,842 George, I am so sorry. 416 00:16:54,866 --> 00:16:56,970 There are punishments that will keep them in pain 417 00:16:56,994 --> 00:16:58,311 way longer than killing them, 418 00:16:58,335 --> 00:17:00,181 some real fucked-up stuff. 419 00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:02,267 Like here, let me show you. Check out this video on YouTube. 420 00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:04,938 Holy fuck, we never even did something like that at my frat! 421 00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:07,500 We did get close though. RIP, Bryce. We miss you, man. 422 00:17:07,796 --> 00:17:09,148 If it's on YouTube, how bad can it be? 423 00:17:09,172 --> 00:17:11,150 I-I-I bet it's just like weird tickling. 424 00:17:12,015 --> 00:17:13,945 The aliens are going to put on gloves 425 00:17:13,969 --> 00:17:15,780 filled with Brazilian Bullet Ants. 426 00:17:15,804 --> 00:17:18,201 The ants have the most painful venom on Earth, 427 00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:20,910 and each glove has over 500 ants. 428 00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:23,204 The pain lasts for days! 429 00:17:25,814 --> 00:17:28,051 - I deserve this! - Aah! Me too!! 430 00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:29,377 Stingers! 431 00:17:29,401 --> 00:17:31,218 Ha ha ha, yeah! 432 00:17:31,242 --> 00:17:32,946 Woo-hoo-hoo! 433 00:17:48,754 --> 00:17:49,554 We did it! 434 00:17:51,214 --> 00:17:54,152 We out sci-fi'd those piece of shit aliens! 435 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:56,613 Oh, it was complicated as hell, but we did it! 436 00:17:56,637 --> 00:17:58,784 I can't remember, can you tell us how we did it again? 437 00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:00,408 I used the Bone Changer Ray 438 00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:03,707 to turn a regular pig into that giant, rib-filled monster. 439 00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:06,583 I bought some Solar Opposites masks from the Hulu Store's 440 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,082 going-out-of-business sale. 441 00:18:08,106 --> 00:18:11,336 I also got 15 Pen15 pens that are also dildos. 442 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,504 Matthew, it was a genius idea 443 00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:16,594 to switch the Holiday Spirit Cannon to 4th of July mode. 444 00:18:16,618 --> 00:18:18,343 That's right. Pre-cooked ribs. 445 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:21,117 Coleslaw poop and salt rub tears. 446 00:18:24,248 --> 00:18:25,725 And, Roland, excellent call 447 00:18:25,749 --> 00:18:28,978 to use the Make-Alive Ray to really land the plane. 448 00:18:29,002 --> 00:18:31,439 Holy fuck, I'm aware of my existence! 449 00:18:31,463 --> 00:18:34,150 - Your name is Peter. - Pe-ter? 450 00:18:34,174 --> 00:18:36,571 - Aw, geez, don't cha know... - Today, I've learned a lesson. 451 00:18:36,595 --> 00:18:39,077 I'm Terry! I'm gonna do donuts in the yard! 452 00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:41,493 It was so easy to leave the harness unbuckled 453 00:18:41,517 --> 00:18:43,910 during our fake family meeting so Peter could escape. 454 00:18:46,687 --> 00:18:49,123 Now those bitch-ass aliens can pay 455 00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:50,208 for all their crimes! 456 00:18:50,232 --> 00:18:52,043 Today, humanity wins! 457 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:52,669 - Whoa! - Woo! 458 00:18:52,693 --> 00:18:54,879 Oh shit! What have I done? 459 00:18:54,903 --> 00:18:57,220 Oh lord, the pain! 460 00:18:57,244 --> 00:18:59,634 I can feel it in my whole body! 461 00:18:59,658 --> 00:19:00,760 I can too! 462 00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:02,181 - Even in my inner eye! - But it's, it's good! 463 00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:04,267 - We needed it! - We're pieces of shit! 464 00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:06,224 We're big pieces of shitty shit! 465 00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:08,395 Ohh! We'll never be mean again! 466 00:19:08,419 --> 00:19:10,103 We'll learn how to have empathy! 467 00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:11,354 We learned our lesson! 468 00:19:12,921 --> 00:19:14,568 Oh my god, look at this guy's shirt! 469 00:19:14,592 --> 00:19:17,026 Is that supposed to be a Wayne's World parody? 470 00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:18,657 - Is your name Mark? - Ow! Ow! 471 00:19:18,681 --> 00:19:20,697 Those movies came out a million years ago! 472 00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:24,409 What kind of loser gets his name added to a Wayne's World shirt? 473 00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:26,327 You suck! - That's so embarrassing! 474 00:19:26,351 --> 00:19:27,901 You're a real fucking idiot, you know that! 475 00:19:28,562 --> 00:19:31,791 - I can't even look at you! Get out of here, you fucking freak! 476 00:19:31,815 --> 00:19:33,084 Terry's right, get out of here! 477 00:19:33,108 --> 00:19:34,504 Oh, these ants feel bad, 478 00:19:34,528 --> 00:19:36,673 but shitting on humans almost evens it out! 479 00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:40,385 Oh, wow. Look at this. 480 00:19:40,409 --> 00:19:43,117 Good Cherie Day, everyone. 481 00:19:43,452 --> 00:19:44,809 Oh, that's perfect! 482 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,118 Wow! 483 00:19:46,997 --> 00:19:48,457 Good Cherie Day to you. 484 00:19:51,877 --> 00:19:55,273 I've never told anyone this, but it's been eating away at me. 485 00:19:55,297 --> 00:19:58,860 Now is the time to tell the true story of Cherie's death. 486 00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:01,738 The story you know... it's a lie. 487 00:20:01,762 --> 00:20:04,369 Yes, she was a hero who helped me defeat the Duke. 488 00:20:04,393 --> 00:20:08,328 Yes, she was my lover, and yes, we had a bunch of sex. 489 00:20:08,352 --> 00:20:10,562 Pussy was poppin'. It was... - Tim, please. 490 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:13,625 The Duke didn't kill her during the war. 491 00:20:13,649 --> 00:20:15,335 - But then how... - Cherie, she sees this hole, 492 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,924 this little piece of blue sky, and she snaps. 493 00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:19,172 She started talking crazy. 494 00:20:19,196 --> 00:20:21,466 She wants to force people out into the backyard 495 00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,384 to let them get eaten by owls. 496 00:20:23,408 --> 00:20:25,136 I thought Cherie and I were on the same page, 497 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,347 but I realized she was just like the Duke. 498 00:20:27,371 --> 00:20:29,227 In the end, they both wanted chaos 499 00:20:29,251 --> 00:20:31,017 and didn't stop to think about the lives 500 00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:32,647 they would ruin on the way. 501 00:20:32,671 --> 00:20:33,748 She fought me. 502 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,630 And I killed Cherie. 503 00:20:37,965 --> 00:20:40,276 I killed the love of my life to save us all. 504 00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:41,778 No, jus... don't say that! 505 00:20:41,802 --> 00:20:44,326 I should've never kept the Duke's Enforcers in power. 506 00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:47,200 All I did was change their name to the Walldermen. Clever. 507 00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:50,330 But still, the point of keeping the hole a secret was to protect people. 508 00:20:50,354 --> 00:20:52,080 Why are you telling me this? 509 00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:53,671 I never asked to be in charge of this Wall. 510 00:20:53,695 --> 00:20:55,250 It weighs on a man. 511 00:20:55,274 --> 00:20:58,130 And I've been carrying that weight alone for far too long. 512 00:20:58,154 --> 00:20:59,901 Now we can bear it together. 513 00:21:00,529 --> 00:21:01,297 What do you mean? 514 00:21:01,321 --> 00:21:03,845 I leave it up to you: you can tell everyone the truth. 515 00:21:03,869 --> 00:21:06,844 Life will change, it might be hard, but that's life. 516 00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:09,180 Or you can help me cover this up. 517 00:21:09,204 --> 00:21:12,892 We'll hide what Ethan did, and life can continue. 518 00:21:12,916 --> 00:21:14,894 Either way, it feels good 519 00:21:14,918 --> 00:21:16,708 to not be the man on top of it all. 520 00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:19,968 So, Halk... what are you going to do? 521 00:21:22,301 --> 00:21:26,489 Wallians, welcome to the first annual Cherie Day. 522 00:21:28,024 --> 00:21:31,119 Before we get to celebrating our fallen hero, 523 00:21:31,143 --> 00:21:33,540 there is an important announcement to make. 524 00:21:33,564 --> 00:21:35,498 But you won't be hearing it from me. 525 00:21:37,566 --> 00:21:39,544 We captured the murderer. 526 00:21:39,568 --> 00:21:40,528 It was... 527 00:21:43,655 --> 00:21:47,510 a rogue cricket who got in the Wall. 528 00:21:49,244 --> 00:21:51,431 - That's right! Thank you, Halk! 529 00:21:51,455 --> 00:21:53,433 You're a hero once again. 530 00:21:53,457 --> 00:21:55,768 We can now go back to life knowing 531 00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:59,188 the Wall is safer than ever before! 532 00:21:59,212 --> 00:22:00,149 For Cherie! 533 00:22:00,173 --> 00:22:02,191 Cherie! Cherie! 534 00:22:02,215 --> 00:22:03,526 Cherie! 535 00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:05,361 Cherie! Cherie! 536 00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:07,363 Cherie! Cherie!