♪ Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
♪ ls knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep
♪ Cos every hand's a winner
♪ And every hand's a loser
♪ And the best that you can hope for
♪ ls to die in your sleep
♪ You've got to know when to hold 'em
♪ Know when to fold 'em
♪ Know when to walk away
♪ And know when to run
♪ You never count your money
♪ When you're sittin' at the table
♪ There'll be time enough for countin'
♪ When the dealin's done. ♪
This programme contains some strong language
♪ Sugar in my hair meltin' everywhere in the sunshine
♪ Watch the sun go down while my face starts... ♪
Whoa. Look at that view.
Look at how blue the sea is!
Oh, wow. It's crystal clear.
Oh, my God! This is bloody amazin'.
What? I don't understand what you're saying.
I don't speak French...
Oh, my God, look at the cars, man.
Oh, my God, it's a Lamborghini!
It's so posh!
It's not like Scarborough, is it?
Look at those ships! Can you imagine being
so rich you could afford summat like this?
I bet Beyonce and jay-Z have got one each!
This is insane.
Look at the size of these!
It's bigger than Woodvale Kennels. That's bigger than my house.
Are you shitting me!
Look at the size of that boat! It's massive.
Wow, it's boiling hot!
It's beautiful.
Ah, this is sick, man.
It is like heaven on Earth.
Right. Photo for Colette, come on, I promised her.
Aw, I wish she was with us. Me too. She's going to be SO pissed off.
- Everybody say Monaco! - Monaco!
Come on.
Bloody hell, knock me door down, why don't ya?
I'm after Keeley Sanderson.
And who are you?
She owes me money, so can you just get her for me?
Well, she don't live here!
Yes, she does live here cos I've seen her coming in.
Come on. Come on.
You let her know I'll be back.
Who are you, The Terminator? Do one!
Come on. Come on.
This one! This one!
Keeley. Keeley!
Keeley, get down these stairs now.
There's been a bloke asking for you from a debt collecting agency.
Yeah, I know all about it. I'm going to pay summat off this afternoon
when me wage comes in.
He said you owe 425 quid, Keeley.
How come you owe so much?
I've no idea, I only borrowed a couple of hundred.
I don't understand why me payments keep going up all 'time.
I missed one week and it nearly doubled.
Oh, Jesus. Keeley, don't you know anything?
Because they bang a shit load of interest on, that's why.
He said he's coming back here, so you better do summat.
Cos I do not want him at my door again, do you hear me?
Yeah. Sorry.
I don't know what you spend all your money on.
I only earn ten grand and I've got me mobile,
me credit cards to pay every month, me board and...
50 quid, I charge you!
You're lucky you've got regular hours and a salary coming in
every month because it's more than I have.
♪ Happy birthday, Keeley. ♪
I made you a present.
Aw, thanks, bro.
Three shifts, I've got this week.
15 hours and that's it.
Them stars are Lucky Dust.
Aw, that is magic, Shane.
I'm going to wear that forever.
You should be able to manage.
Other kids manage.
You want to stop buying so much stuff off the bloody internet.
I sell more than I buy.
Yeah, that's why you're in debt.
Here's your card, happy birthday.
Thanks.
Did you make that all by yourself?
I made it in class. Jenny helped a bit.
Thanks, Mum.
And I'm going to let you off the 20 quid you owe me
for the coat you sold on eBay.
I told you I'd pay you that when I sold me Xbox.
You've got lots of messages.
It'll be all me mates from work.
You, er, haven't seen my Gucci sliders that I got from Turkey,
have you? I've looked everywhere for them.
Yes!
All right! All right!
I'm coming.
Yes!
That's another tenner! Happy birthday, Keeley!
Hello. Breakfast!
Yeah, all right, I'm coming.
Yeah, all right. All right.
Let it touch the side of your mouth, Howard.
Hello, Billy, what are we having?
It's all right, Billy.
It's OK! Good boy.
Good boy. Good boy.
Good boy.
Don't look so grumpy. Happy.
Are you going to eat something today?
OK, don't, then.
All right.
Right, listen, I'm going straight to bingo after me shift,
so here you go.
Get you and Shane a pizza. I'll see you about nine.
I can't get two pizzas for a fiver.
You can if you go to Aldi.
I'm not cooking them — It's me birthday!
Right, OK. Here you go. A tenner.
Er, what have you sold there?
Nothing. It better not be my Gucci sliders, Keeley!
Keeley, I'm talking to you. Oi!
Keeley Sanderson?
Keeley Sanderson.
No, no, that's me sister!
Come on, Keeley, don't take the piss.
Honest to God, it's not me.
Hey!
Hey! I know where you live, Keeley!
Don't think you're going to get away with it!
Oi, you. Clear off.
Hello?
Yeah, can you come pick me up?
I'm heading down on to Farrar Lane.
I've just let the dogs out on the field.
Come on, I'm late...
and it's me birthday.
Aw shit, shit, shit, shit.
I forgot. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday.
OK, I'll see you soon.
Come on! Come on!
We need to go and get Keeley...
Last one! Come on. Keep going, keep going.
You've got till eight o'clock tonight to get the money!
Gobshite.
What did you just say?
Nothing.
Hey, get here!
Quick, drive! There's a psycho after me. Go!
Get out of the van. What?
Get out of the van. Who is he? Just go! Just drive!
Get out of the van, get out.
He's a nutter. Who is he?
Debt collector, he were waiting for me.
He's already been round to the house. Shit.
I borrowed a couple of hundred quid to take our Shane to London Zoo.
What are you going to do?
Pay it as soon as me money comes in this afternoon.
Well, you don't get paid till next week.
No way! You're joking, it's this week.
No, no, I ain't. Sorry.
I'm the same, I'm well skint.
God, I don't believe it.
Shit.
Jesus, Jake, this van stinks. Eugh.
Err. It was Alfie. He must've farted like 50 times
when I took him home last night.
It doesn't smell like fart, it smells like BO.
Here, have a squirt of that.
Are you still at your mam's? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm lookin'
for somewhere to rent before the hearing.
Have you thought how you're going to manage if you get joint custody?
No, but I'm off round to Georgina's tonight,
see if I can talk her round.
Good luck.
She's coming!
♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Happy birthday dear Keeley... ♪
Thanks so much!
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
Go on, then. Blow your candles out!
A card and pressie from all of us.
You shouldn't have.
Jesus, you look like death warmed up.
Me and me nanna baked this last night.
It's real melted chocolate on the top.
Colette's got Lola in for an early morning shampoo and hygiene.
Uh'.!
20 quid on that, we all put in. Oh, fantastic!
Hey, with a bit of luck, a million on this.
I'm always dead lucky with scratchcards.
Come on...
Oh. Speaking of luck, you two both owe me two quid for 'lottery.
Hang on a minute, let's see if I've won owt. Come on...
Ahh! Not a sausage, never mind.
Have you got any change?
I got a tenner off me mam this morning,
I'll check lottery ticket when I pick Duke up.
Give us a piece of that cake, I'm starving hungry.
There you go.
Thank you.
Is that all you going to have?
It's fat club tonight.
Roxy, do you want a bit?
No, you're all right.
Me stomach's a bit off this morning.
Oh, dear. What's up with her?
I'll have a big piece, take it with me.
Hey, it's a rollover this week, 27 million and I've got me
Lucky Dust necklace on that our Shane made me.
Aww, bless his little cotton socks.
I'll order me Porsche then and book a holiday to the Caribbean, shall I?
So how often do you reckon she will come in for a bath?
Every time she gets dirty.
Which, as a spaniel, is a lot.
This is our resident groomer, Colette.
Hiya.
Theo, our work experience lad, with us for two weeks.
What are you studying?
Animal behaviour at Leeds Uni. I want to be a vet.
Me brother's girlfriend got me this placement.
Roxy. You'll meet her soon. Lovely.
And how long have you been working for Woodvale, Colette?
Must be nearly five years now.
She trained as a social worker but chose to work here with us instead.
She prefers dogs to people.
I wouldn't say that.
They love her to bits.
Right, shall we take a look at the hydrotherapy room?
Yes. It's just this way.
Who's she? I dunno.
Duke! Duke it's Keeley.
Hello, Duke. Hello, boy.
Shall we go for a walk? Shall we?
Shall we go for a walk? Yes.
What's happened here?
Aw, mwah, I have missed you.
Yes. Yes, I have. I have missed you so much.
Where's your medicine, then?
Where has your medicine gone?
Hey, there it is.
Come on, then. Good boy.
Good boy. Come on.
Hey.
Come on, come on.
Here you are, Ollie. Your mate's here.
Here he is. Come on. Yeah, there we go.
Pass that. I'm just going to check the lottery ticket. Two minutes.
Have you sorted the bridesmaid's presents?
No, I haven't had time. Why do I have to buy them presents, anyway?
Because it's tradition. You said you'd get them bracelets.
Well, I've been busy.
Oh, any bloody excuse! What have you done towards this wedding, Frank?
Sweet FA! We get married in three weeks.
All right, I'll sort it!
Now then Keeley, how's it going, love?
Yeah. Good. I've just come to post this.
Duke's in the van.
He's dead excited cos Ollie's with us today.
Will you watch he don't go charging about too much?
Cos his hip's playing up again. Yeah, sure.
Hiya, love. Can I post this?
Just ordinary, I don't want it signed for or anythin'.
Sure.
Did you get Duke's passport sorted?
Yeah, vet sorted it. What's he want a passport for? Nothin'.
He is not coming on our honeymoon with us, Frank.
Don't even go there! Yeah, but... I mean it! You said... No!
That'll be £3.10, please, love.
Sorry. No. She'll be all right.
Can you check this for us?
Yeah. Usual, is it? Two scratchcards?
No, can't afford it this week, I'm skint.
And it's me birthday today, an'all.
Happy birthday, love.
You know, someone won £1,000 on a scratchcard
they bought from Co-op last week.
Oh, I could just do with that.
I need to find 425 quid before tonight.
Really, how come?
I missed a loan repayment and now they want the lot.
Bastards.
Been there, done that.
I tell you what.
Here — have those on me.
Happy birthday.
Aww, cheers, Frank.
You should come down the casino with me.
I won nearly 600 last night.
Yeah. Tell her how much you lost the week before, though.
He's lucky I didn't call the wedding off.
Now, that would've been lucky.
Uh, what did you say?
Just, she might be lucky because it's her birthday, that's all.
Happy birthday, love!
Nothing on it!
Aw.
Never mind.
Oh, what is it? What's that mean?
I think you've won summat.
Will you turn that racket off!? |?
Yeah, seems you've won 500 quid.
How about that, then?
No way! Are you serious?
Yeah! It says here, "Pay from till".
I don't know if I've got enough, I'll have to check.
Oh, my God! I don't believe it.
Cheryl! How much have you got in your till?
I don't know. How much have you won?
500 quid!
Oh, my God. Wow! Hey.
That's a nice birthday present.
And you can pay your debts off now, as well.
2, 4, 6, 8, 10 — 100.
2, 4...
Are you all right? Yeah.
I think Ollie wants a crap. Shall we take them to the park
before we pick up Sprog?
Are you all right?
Yeah.
There's definitely something up with you.
No, there ain't.
I'm thinking. About what?
Things.
Keeley. Come on, you can talk to me.
We won 500 quid on the lottery.
What?
It's the truth.
Really, that's mental.
We've been doing it three years and all we've ever won is a tenner.
That's 100 each. That's fantastic.
What you worried about?
Nowt, forget it.
£100 — it's better than nothin.
'Course it is.
Maybe they will take it as part payment
and I can give 'em rest next week.
Keeley. We're a syndicate, Keeley.
Yeah, I know we are. I just thought about borrowing it till
we get paid, that's all.
I were never going to keep it.
Frank! What the hell are you doing?
Just looking at these bridesmaid presents on me phone.
Gemma! Gemma! Gemma!
Gemma, we've won 500 on the lottery!
Stop it! Your jokin'.
No. Seriously, look.
No way! That's mental. How many numbers did we get?
Dunno, I haven't checked, but machine don't lie.
It said Frank had to pay us straight out of the till.
It's me birthday, I knew summat good was going to happen.
Where's Roxy and Colette?
Roxy's walking five of the little ones.
And Colette's got Teddy in for a bath and face trim.
Shall we go tell Colette? Shall we?
Let's go see Colette.
Pity it wasn't 500 each, eh? Yeah.
So, what are you going to spend yours on, then?
I dunno, £100 doesn't go far.
I've not got anyone to buy for, anyway, so.
Even better, buy for yourself.
Go out and get rat-arsed. Who with?
Your mates.
I don't have any mates, they're all in Newcastle.
You must have mates here.
Well, I don't. I'm a freak.
Sometimes, I don't speak to a living soul on a weekend.
I'm glad to come into work on a Monday.
You need to get yourself on Tinder.
I've tried — havin' a one-night stand doesn't make it better,
it makes it worse.
Frank's just picked Duke up but we had him
booked in for the whole day, like normal.
Did he say anything to you about just wanting him walking?
No. No, he said summat about not letting him not go mad with Ollie,
cos his hip's been bad again,
but no, he wasn't limping when we took him on the field was he?
No, he seemed fine to me.
Well, he'll have to pay for a full day,
I won't be messed about like that.
And he forgot to take his medicine.
That's weird.
Look, er, when you've finished cleaning out the kennels
and they've had their walks, I'll pop up and have a word
in the staffroom.
What about?
He was showing people around, earlier.
I think it might have been animal welfare or the health inspector.
Yeah.
So we must've got at least four numbers right to win 500 quid.
Well, it depends on how many winners they've got. True.
Right, last night's winning lottery numbers were...
3, 5, 17, 22... Not mine.
"42, and the Lucky Diamonds were 1 and 12.
Not my numbers, then.
No, not mine, either.
Well, where's the ticket?
Frank took it.
Hang on...
It says that, "There were two tickets that matched
"with four balls, and they got £1,040 each."
Nothing about anyone winning 500.
Well, that's what he gave me.
We might've only had three balls.
You don't win 500 quid for three balls, Jake.
We've had three loads of times.
So what are you saying, we could've won more?
Yeah, and she thinks I've pocketed the other 540 quid!
What the hell did I say?
Er, not on the papers.
Oh. I just think he got our lottery winnings wrong, that's all.
We might have won 1,040.
Oh, well, he'll be back in minute. He's just taken Duke to the vets
cos you said he was limping again.
I didn't say anything.
He just came and picked him up. We didn't know anything about it.
Really? That's not what he said.
But I was busy working, so maybe I didn't hear him properly.
He is worried about him, though.
Have you got your ticket, and I'll check it again?
Well, no, I gave it to Frank and he put it in the machine.
I don't know what happened to it after that,
cos I were so excited I'd won.
Do you remember? Yeah.
Well, I'm sure he'll sort it when he gets back.
Can you make sure they don't wee on the papers?
We'll come back after work. Yeah.
All right, love.
Don't worry, he'll make sure it's right.
He did just wee. Sorry.
Oh.
Jesus...
It's me. Hiya.
Where have you been?
I'm on me way to Hull to see a specialist in dog hip displacement.
You've been gone ages.
Yeah, well, I took him to our vet, he said there's very little
he can do, except up his medication again.
The kids have been in from the kennels.
They don't know anything about Duke limping again.
That is because it was the owner, Graham, who rang me.
What did they want?
There's been some sort of mix up with the lottery ticket.
Right.
What kind of mix up with the lottery?
They're saying they've won 1,040.
Look, I've got to go, love, vet's ringing me.
Come on, Duke.
Sorry about that, it was me mother.
I live with her, and she can be a bit demanding sometimes.
That's all right. I understand.
My mother used to live with me, but sadly...
Sadly, she passed away last year.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
They're such a big part of your life.
I've got all that to come.
I bet your mum loves Duke.
She worships him, just like me!
So...
Oh! Sorry!
Well, I'm happy to tell you that everything checks out,
you are who you say you are.
And you have won the jackpot of £27 million!
Amazing!
Congratulations! Thank you!
So now, the only things for us to discuss are whether or not
you want to go public and if you need any financial advice.
No, I don't want to go public.
I don't want people knocking on the door, that would upset me mam.
Oh, of course.
How long before the money comes through?
Well, it can sometimes take a few clays, maybe a week,
but our financial advisers are usually very happy
to lend you some money straight away.
It could be in your bank account in a couple of hours.
Would you like me to give them a ring for you?
Yeah, I'd like that very much.
Hiya.
Cheryl said we hadn't to worry
and that Frank'll sort it out as soon as he's back.
Oh, great. Ugh, I feel a bit dizzy.
That's 'cos you don't eat owt.
Does Archie have glucosamine?
Yeah, but just one, and you'll have to crush it up or he'll spit it out.
I'm going to have to sit down.
Here, I'm sorry, Keeley, I didn't really think.
Yeah, you did.
I might be crap with money, but I would never do that to a mate.
That's too much in there, Theo.
Theo, there's too much in there.
Come here, you little tinker.
Where are you going? Spr0g! Sprog! Sprog!
What's she got? I dunno, what is it? It's all right.
Leave it, leave it, Sprog!
What's going on?!
Why is there a sleeping bag in the staffroom?
Graham, I'm... I'm so sorry. Er...
Oh, it's Duke's.
I wondered where that had gone.
Do you remember? Frank gave us it for the back of the van,
when Duke's hip was bad?
Yeah, yeah, and then I stashed it behind the sofa.
Right.
Theo, can you keep an eye on reception for me?
Anyone calls, we're booked up till the end of the month,
but we're still accepting day boarders.
Yeah, sure. Excuse me.
Now, I know some of you have already met Alice.
Hello.
Who I'm delighted to say you is very impressed with Woodvale Kennels.
Absolutely. Phew!
Now look, I know most of you know that me
and my Keith, we struggle to get to our holiday home in Magaluf.
We've been there once in the last two years...
And we're not getting any younger, so...
over to you, Alice.
We run a very successful boutique hotel and spa for dogs
just outside London, and we have another one in Edinburgh.
I've just got some nice brochures there for you to have a look at.
You might have heard of us — We're called Four Paws Boudoir.
Err... sorry, but what's that got to do with us?
They're taking over Woodvale, that's what.
You don't have to worry — They're going to keep you all on,
and they've got some brilliant ideas.
That's, of course, if you want to stay.
We'll be increasing your hourly pay and offering higher weekend rates.
Oh, that's good.
Sorry, what did you just say?
It means we'll be getting more money.
And some really cute pink and grey uniforms.
Unfortunately, in the short term, we will have to close Woodvale
to refurbish to a Four Paws standard.
What's going to happen to t'dogs?
We'll be sending letters out, explaining.
Explaining what? I've got dogs booked in.
Well, they'll just have to go elsewhere.
It's just for a couple of months.
Well, do we get paid? Months?
We'll be looking at all your contracts
to see what you're entitled to. But I don't have a contract.
No. Neither do I.
Oh, you should all have been issued with contracts.
Well, we haven't. I've got a kid to support.
Yeah. And I've got me nanna.
Look, none of you are going to be out of pocket, OK?
You don't have to worry.
And you'll get to spend a bit more time with your nanna
when they're doing the refurb, Gemma.
Yeah, but will I still get my 30 hours a week, like I do now?
There'll be a rota, which will also include a couple of staff
who'll be joining you from our Surrey branch.
They'll be here to train you in the Four Paws way.
From down south?
That's not what she were asking.
I'm coming to that.
Obviously, we will lose a number of customers with the closure,
so the hours will vary from week to week, particularly in the beginning.
But hopefully we will build a better clientele...
What exactly are you ea yin'?
Yes, oh, I really should be going to catch that train.
I'm sure you'll have lots of questions,
but hopefully Graham will be able to answer them for you.
It's been really lovely to meet you all,
and I look forward to working with you all in the future.
Bye-bye for now. Hang on a minute! Excuse me!
Exciting, isn't it? A hotel and spa for our gorgeous dogs.
I'll leave you too it.
I'll be in reception, if you've got any questions.
Well, what the hell does all that mean?
It means we'll have no idea how many hours we're getting a week.
Zero-hour contracts.
You know, they did that at Sullivan's, where me mam works.
Sometimes she has five hours a week, and others she has 40.
How are you supposed to work out how much you've got to live off?
That's just it. You can't.
Come on, we're going on a journey. Come on, Duke! Come on. Come on!
That's a boy.
Come on, here we go.
Come on.
Hello, Humberside Police.
Yeah, er... Look, it might be nothing,
but I just saw a man loitering on the Humber Bridge.
I stopped and asked him if he was all right, but he didn't answer,
and then I noticed that he'd left his car doors open.
I mean, it might be nothing, but if you could just check it out.
And what's your name, sir?
No, I'm just a salesman passing by. I just thought you should know.
Hey?
I think I'm going to have to find another job. Me too.
You know, if you get stuck again, I can always ask me mam
if you can bunk in with our Shane.
I'll be all right. I'm just ea yin'.
Cheers.
Well, another 20 minutes and we'll be done,
and then we can go and see if Frank's back.
I've got to pick our Shane up and get pizzas for us two.
Right, well, we'll go in the morning, then.
Just say we had won a load of money on the lottery...
What would you spend it on?
I'd buy a big friggin' telly.
I'd see the world, fly first-class to every country I could think of.
I'd wear a designer dress. I'd play in a proper casino with real chips.
Not much, then! Hang on, I haven't finished.
I'd have driving lessons.
I'd buy a big house for me and our Shane and another one for me mam.
Buy a big, flashy red car with a hood.
I'd take our Shane on a proper safari to Kenya
to see all the animals.
♪ I could play sweet
♪ Swap you for some honesty
♪ Play around with make-believe... ♪
Is that you, Gemma?
Yeah! I got you a well-done fish.
Oh! And we've won £100 each on t'lottery.
Oh, you never! Yeah, we did!
Ooh! God, it is freezin' in here.
Oh, don't take the Lord's name in vain, Gemma.
And don't be turning the heating on. My last bill were nearly £400!
Gemma, we've had a visitor this morning from prison.
I hope you told 'em the same as last time — I'm not going to see him.
They're letting him out. What?!
No. They can't do that. He got eight years.
Well, it seems like they can.
He's got parole. They said he's been a model prisoner and he's reformed.
So, we can go straight to the estate agents and look at the flat.
We've got the studio booked, though,
and I've no idea what time we'll finish.
We've got to get our own flat, Sam.
Then I can tell me mum and dad I'm pregnant.
Are you sure we're doing the right thing?
Well, I'm not getting rid of it.
And it's what we decided.
And it's what I want.
OK, but I can't just leave halfway through a session.
Guitarists are two a penny.
Yes, you can, and you can meet me there.
It's 42A Kirkwood Terrace.
Don't let me down.
Roxy!
Have you got any money? I'm skint.
Here.
You're not supposed to be here. I've not come to cause trouble.
I just wanted to ask you if I could take Eva to see me mam
at the weekend. No.
Look, it will only be for a few hours, and I promise...
Daddy! Hey!
I've missed you so much!
Please, Georgina.
We're supposed to be letting the court sort all this out.
Where's the remote?
It's under the coffee table!
Who's that? None of your business.
Well, it is my business
if he's living in the same house as my daughter.
He's not living here!
Somebody nicked her bike from outside the house.
Right. Well, I'll get her another.
I won 100 on the lottery.
I was going to buy her a new coat and some shoes.
Me washer's conked out.
I'm having to go to the laundrette and it's costin' me a fortune.
I'll see what I can do about getting you a recon.
I need a new one! Recons only last a couple of months.
Two o'clock, Saturday. Don't be late.
Bye.
Night, Eva!
Hey, mate!
I wonder if you can go any quicker.
Well, why don't you just come round?
Me mam's not even here.
She's decided to stay at her boyfriend's on me birthday.
Really? I know.
She drops everythin' for him every bloody time he rings her.
Do you know what? I wouldn't even mind, but he's such a dick!
I'm just round the corner from yours now.
Yeah...
I saved you a slice of pizza...
Keeley Sanderson?
You either pay me £425 now... I've got £108 and that's it.
or I have an order here to seize goods to the value of.
It's your choice. Who is it, Keeley?
You go back in there, Shane, and watch your DVD.
Now, I'm not leaving till I get the payment,
so if you want to ring somebody... Who am I going to ring?
What's going on? Are you all right, Keeley?
Who is this, your boyfriend?
No, I don't have a boyfriend. We work together.
Look, I'll be good for the rest next week when I get paid.
I need it all tonight.
Mate, she hasn't got the money.
But I can vouch for her, she gets paid next week.
Yeah, I've got some money in me bank.
No, Shane! Go back in the room!
Now, we can either stand here all night, arguing,
or we can start sorting the problem out. That's up to you.
I've got an Xbox upstairs that you'll get more for than that.
I'll have that as well, and that should do it.
Well, you can't take the telly!
Shane, he watches his Blue Planets on it.
It's all right, Keeley. I'll just draw instead.
What about some GHD hair straighteners? They're brand-new.
Are they in a box? No, but I only got 'em recently.
They're not worth owt, then.
It'll have to be the telly — Unless you've got a phone.
No. No, you can't take me phone! I need it for work!
And her Lucky Dust spins.
It's your choice. I can get 100 for a decent phone.
I might be able to get 50 for the straighteners.
No? Well, it'll have to be the telly, then.
I am such a shit sister.
No, you're not, Keeley.
You're my best sister. I'm your only sister.
Yeah, but I love you.
I'm so sorry, Shane. I'm sorry.
Enjoy your flight, sir.
I sure as hell will.
Thank you very much indeed for that.
We'll have you in the air very shortly,
and I have some treats and a secure area all set up for Duke.
Wonderful!
Come on, Duke. There we go!
Hey, look! Treats on board. Yes!
How was the flat last night?
Great, but Sam didn't turn up to see it.
Honestly, I don't even know why you're with him.
What's up with you?
God, this stuff stinks!
Bet she's pregnant. Roxy? Don't be stupid.
Oh, here we go — "The jackpot of 27 million
"has now been claimed by one winner from Yorkshire."
I
Lucky bastard! I wish it were us!
I wonder if it's on Twitter.
I bet you they're already rich. I'm going to ring Frank.
It never goes to people like us who really need it.
Wouldn't it be great to be loaded... Amazing!
and not have to worry about paying your bills
or makin' your money last till the end of the month?
Oh! It's the long tone. Maybe he's out of the country.
He can't be, cos he were here yesterday.
I know, I know!
I know. It's nice, isn't it, eh? The Cote d'Azur.
Who the bloody hell is this?
Yes, hello?
Oh, hiya, Frank! It's me, Keeley.
Oh, hello, Keeley, love. How are you doing?
Yeah, not so bad. I were just wondering how Duke was.
Cheryl said you'd taken him to the vets.
Yeah, I've taken him to see a specialist,
like an orthopaedic supervet in Hull.
We thought you were out of the country
cos we got the international dial tone.
I wish!
No. In fact, he's having a scan right now.
I'm just sat here waiting for the results.
And it's not looking good.
Oh, God! I hope he's all right.
Hm... Well, ask him about the ticket. Ask about the ticket.
The thing is, Frank,
I think you made a mistake with our lottery ticket.
We've been on the website
and it didn't mention anything about anyone winning £500.
Yeah, well, they don't always print the small winners,
and maybe you only had three numbers.
Well, would you mind checking the ticket for us?
The thing is, Keeley, I haven't got the ticket,
because I had to send it to Mercury Millions
so Cheryl could claim her money back.
I tell you what I'll do.
I'll call the lottery people and make sure everything's hunky dory,
and then I'll send you a text.
All right, but thanks for calling. Bye!
Don't look at me like that. I had to do it.
Also, you left Duke's medicine at the kennels.
Frank. Frank! Oh, he's gone.
Oh, my God, I feel terrible! I've puked for England.
You should go to the doctors.
Oi, breathe on me!
I need to get gastroenteritis before next week's weigh-in.
Morning. Hiya!
Aw, make us a brew, please.
So, I rung Frank. He said they don't put the small wins on
their website, so I guess we must've just won 500 after all.
Aw! Never mind. It let us dream for a bit.
Yeah, I thought it might be summat like that.
Next week, we'll win the big one.
Yeah, we believe you, Keeley. Thousands wouldn't.
Did you keep the same numbers?
Yeah, course. Ask Roxy. She got 'em.
What? The lottery ticket. We use the same numbers, don't we?
Yeah, you lot do, but I change mine.
You never said.
Nobody asked.
I thought you said we'd won £100 each.
Yeah, we have, but we thought we might've won more.
Sorry, I've been puking.
Does anyone know what the winning numbers were?
Yeah. I know 'em off by heart — 3, 5, 17, 22, 42.
Say those numbers again.
God, Roxy! Were they your numbers or not?
They sound familiar.
3.5.
17.
22.
42.
Roxy?
Well? Speak, will you?
42 Kirkwood Terrace...
That was the number of the flat I went to see.
That was the one I changed for luck cos I wanted the flat to be brilliant.
What flat?
Me birthday — 5th of May.
Mia's — 22nd ofjune.
Me mum's — 3rd ofjune. Sam's... 17th. 17th of December, yeah.
Fuck-a-duck, we've got five numbers!
I got all five of 'em! I got all five numbers!
0h. my God!
What?! We've got five numbers?
Oh, my God! Well, we must've won more than 500 quid!
Oh, my God. We've got five numbers!
We've got five numbers! Five!
What...?
Frank here. I'd love to talk to you, but I'm not available,
so leave a message after the beep.
What was your Lucky Diamonds?! Erm... Roxy, our Sam's outside.
What does he want? I don't know, ask him.
What were your Lucky Diamonds? I can't remember!
You've got to! I can't! Like I said, I change 'em every week.
He wants to talk to you, explain about last night.
What numbers did you pick for your Lucky Diamonds?
It's really important.
Did you hear what I said?
I remember buying Keeley's birthday card.
It was the dogs — The ones I took for a walk.
Number 12, cos Howard was in kennel 12 and he was with me.
So, one of the Lucky Diamonds was number 12.
Oh, my God, according to this, we've won £25,000!
25,000!
Roxy..-
What are you doing here?
I've been trying to ring you all night and day,
in between puking me guts up.
- What was the other Lucky Diamond? - Number 1.
Cos we were giggin' till two o'clock in the morning.
You couldn't even be bothered to ring me to see how the flat was?
Who else did she have with her? Check the board. Check the board.
What I want to know is, do you want to move in together and have a baby?
Who else was she walking?
It's Billy! It's Billy!
Cos if you don't, you can do one.
I'm sick of forking out for you and feeling like shit.
Aw, it's number 8!
Never mind. I mean, still, it's 25 grand!
That's five grand each.
That's friggin' fantastic!
We've got jack squat without the ticket, though.
She's right. But Mercury Millions have got it, so we'll ring 'em.
Do you know something? I don't think she took Billy out.
What do you mean? What? Well, he wouldn't go out.
Well, who did she take with her?
I... I don't know. Let's ask Roxy! Ask Roxy!
Go, go! Go, go, go!
I saved every penny of that deposit myself.
I haven't bought any new clothes, I haven't been out anywhere.
And I didn't mind, cos I were doin' it for us, but when you...
Roxy, which other dog did you take with you to buy your lottery ticket?!
What? We might have both Lucky Diamonds!
Did you take Billy to get the lottery ticket?
Billy's on the board. Are you splitting up with me?
But Jake said Billy didn't want to go.
He didn't. Are you going to answer me?
I knew it! See, I said, didn't I?
You've let me down too many times, Sam.
Billy wouldn't get out of his basket, so I took Happy instead.
Oh, sweet Jesus! Oh, yes! Yes!
What's going on?
Happy's in kennel number 1!
Now, are you absolutely sure about that?
Yeah, cos he wouldn't stop whining and scratching me leg in the shop.
You know how he does that sometimes when he wants something?
Are you just going to ignore me?
That were the other Lucky Diamond number, number 1.
So, you're telling me we got five numbers and two Lucky Diamonds?
I'm sorry, Sam. Yeah, I am splitting up with you.
And now I've got to go,
cos I think we've just won £27 million on the lottery!
Cheryl!
What's the matter?
What's up?
Frank didn't come home last night. He sent me a message.
Read it for yourself. Duke's got...
Aw, no! They've had to put Duke down!
No! He was fine yesterday! That's terrible!
There was nothing wrong with him.
I've called him a thousand times. He just doesn't answer.
I know Frank. He lives for that dog.
I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid.
I'm going to go to Hull to try and find him.
I'm going to come with you. Keeley!
An orthopaedic supervet in Hull? Should be easy enough to find.
Yeah, he's my friend's fiance,
and he's just had to have his dog put down.
ON PHONE". Can we speak to your Mend'?
Yeah. Hi. Yeah, it's me.
Erm, he'd been to see a specialist vet in Hull,
which is where we're heading now.
What kind of car has he got? A red Toyota RAV.
We were supposed to be getting married next month.
I know.
I just can't believe he'd do something like this.
And the thing is, we need to...
To what?
Nothing.
It doesn't matter.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
Basically, there are no supervets listed in Hull.
Right, yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. And no specialist orthopaedic vets either.
You don't think...? Yeah, I do.
One jackpot winner in Yorkshire? It's him.
And he's done a bunk. Yeah — with our ticket.
What about Duke?
There were nothing wrong with Duke, he wasn't even limping,
so I don't know why they'd have to put him down.
I bet you this is all a big scam. Mm-hm.
Come on.
Come on!
Here it goes. Here it goes. Oh!
Oh-ho-ho! Ooh!
Thank you very much! Oh, yes.
Yes, I will have a little top-up, thank you very much!
Lovely! Thank you, thank you.
Look at that — Mont Blanc in chips.
That's brilliant!
If he's taken our money, I'll friggin' swing for him.
Keep calm, he can't just steal our ticket. No way!
That's breaking the law. It's fraud.
We'll ring the police.
No. We'll ring the lottery people. We'll tell 'em what he's clone.
They're here.
Well? Was Frank in the car? What's happened, then?
They found his car near the Humber Bridge...
door just left open...
photo of Duke and his favourite toy on t'passenger seat.
And, erm, someone reported to the police
that there were a man on the bridge.
I wonder who did that...
What do you mean? What you talking about?
There's no supervet in Hull. No orthopaedic specialist.
There must be.
We rang every vet in Hull. No-one had heard of Frank or Duke.
It's all a pack of lies.
He's the one claiming he's got the ticket.
No, he wouldn't do that.
For 27 million, I think Frank would do anything.
If we have won the jackpot, I might start me own grooming parlour,
I might even get me own kennels.
I don't fancy working for Four Paws.
Neither do I. They seem dead stuck-up.
Anyway, we won't have to work for anyone, cos we'll be rich!
What are you going to spend yours on, Gemma? Aw, that's dead easy.
I'm going to pay someone to get me dad bumped off.
You're right. Looks like he's left me.
All his stuff's gone, and so has his passport.
What about his laptop? His iPad?
It's all gone. That's a shame, cos we could've tracked him. Yeah.
Wherever he is, he's got it all with him.
Why would he do this to me?
All I have ever done is try and support him.
I've paid off his gambling debts, I've bought him a car,
I've paid for the holidays.
Why would he ask me to marry him if he was going to leave me?
It must be horrible for you.
It's horrible for us knowing that he's got our lottery ticket.
Well, one good thing about all this
is that Duke might be all right after all. I'll never forgive him.
What am I going to do about the wedding?
I'm going to have to let everyone know. I wouldn't do anything yet.
I'll have to find me list.
Hang on a minute.
Frank gave me his old iPad
so I could keep all the wedding details on it.
And I use it for recipes sometimes. Would that be any good?
Yeah. Yeah... It might be. Do you know where it is? Er, yeah.
Well, it won't be charged up. It don't matter! Just plug it in!
I can't see him going far — I mean, not without Duke's medication.
He wouldn't want him to be in pain.
Do you know his password?
It's "Duke123!"
Right, come on.
What's that, then? It's Frank's phone all right. Yeah. Shit.
It's saying he's somewhere between Nice and Monaco.
Monaco?
We were supposed to be going on our honeymoon to Monaco.
He's always wanted to go there...
You know, for the gambling and the Grand Prix.
What a fucking dick! And I liked him?
Well, if he thinks he's going to get away with our winnings,
he's got another think coming — Cos we're going to go after him.
What with? To Monaco?
And how are we going to find him? And we've no money.
No.
But I have...
and I'm going to help you.
♪ Sugar in my hair, meltin' everywhere in the sunshine
♪ Watch the sun go down while my face starts to crystallise
♪ You could be the one
who'll make me feel all right
♪ Take me anywhere, take me anywhere
♪ I wanna be your guy
♪ I can't go through without you... ♪